


What the Darkness Let In

by RoseByAnyOtherName (badxwolfxrising)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:43:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 80,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badxwolfxrising/pseuds/RoseByAnyOtherName
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The half human Doctor awakens from one of his most vivid nightmares of his other self, and in this last one he's regenerating. But how much of what he dreams is based in truth? In Pete's World, the Doctor becomes John Smith and has everything he thought he knew about the universe turned on its head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Doctor's Nightmare

“I don't want to go!” he heard himself cry out in bitter anguish. A brilliant, searing flash of light accompanied the exquisite, familiar pain of total cellular death. Enveloped in the light, which seared like fire, every strand of his DNA was rewriting itself, inscribing the story of the last of the Time Lords on a new body, new face, new persona. Eternities stretched out in those few moments, before the light faded away with the pain. He was sinking, drifting like a star lost in orbit through the darkness of space, hearing the drumbeat sound of two hearts pulsing in rhythm. Far away, like a whisper on the wind, he could hear a single voice calling him, drawing him deeper into the darkness. That darkness was a black hole, yawning wide open, terrifying and thrilling in its uncertainty. He was unable to resist the pull. That voice was warm and velvet, luring him in, and then he was falling, falling, falling...

“Dooooctoooooor....?”

“Doooctooor...?”

“Doctor!”

He snapped up with a start, the blood rushing to his head, pounding an incessant tattoo In the near distance, he could hear ocean waves crashing against rock. It was still dark, but warm hands were clasping his shoulders. The light of a single moon through an open window illuminated an unfamiliar room that smelled like wild flowers and salt air. And then he remembered.

“Doctor, you're scaring me. Answer me! Are you alright?” Rose's voice was soft, but urgent with concern.

“Yeah, I'm fine. I just...wow, what a nightmare. I was dreaming about my death. Well, not my death per say. The other doctor's death. I was dreaming he was regenerating, but it just felt so real, so familiar...” He got out of bed and went to the window. Below him, a thin strip of white beach stretched out against a dark expanse of water. Dårlig Ulv Stranden. He'd know that beach anywhere. Rose had said the worst day of her life had happened there. It was the place of parting, and though they had been reunited there, he couldn't help but think back to the day he had lost her and be surprised by how raw that emotion still was. Tears swelled to his eyes. The thought of losing her again like that felt as though it would suck the breath right from him.

She came up behind him and leaned into him, and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. The skin to skin contact was grounding, comforting. Rose was flushed with warmth, dewy and soft and smelling of honeysuckle and sheets that have been dried in the garden. Her undeniable presence next to him was a reminder of just how human he could be when it came to weaknesses of the flesh.,and he shifted uncomfortably. Silently, they both looked down on the beach, perhaps remembering that day not long passed when everything had come full circle here. From a nearby balcony, a shell wind chime tinkled a haunting melody, made ethereal by the gentle wind.

“You've been dreaming a lot lately, about...the other Doctor,” Rose said quietly. 

She'd had to stop herself from saying “the real Doctor”, which even now was still how she sometimes thought of things, as unfair as it probably was. She had let slip with it before and seen the wounded pride in his eyes, a look that was so fraught with ancient sadness and melancholy, it made her heart shiver. She loved him so much, but it was still hard sometimes on both of them. A life on Pete's World as humans was so far removed from the life they'd had traveling together on the TARDIS. Maybe not in a bad way, though. It was safer, certainly. They got their thrills from work, and then went back home to their flat at the end of the day. Still, something was missing. It was all so routine in a way that left a slight, gnawing dissatisfaction just under the surface. Mostly you could ignore it, but if you stopped to think too hard, you might catch a glimpse of it lurking in the shadows.

Like the Doctor, Rose was lost in recollections of this place, which had come to be the most important in her life, after the place where she had first met him. She was seeing the sad smile he'd had on his face the day they'd said goodbye and she'd mentioned the baby. There was something in his eyes when he'd asked if it was hers, and she'd said no, it was her would-be brother. Was it a trace of wistfulness? Wishing? Remembering the children he had lost? It was a question she had never asked, although she couldn't help but think about it. So much of what he was he kept locked away inside, and not even a sonic screwdriver could crack that lock. As intimate as they had become through their travels, there were some things he didn't discuss, and the intricacies of what had happened during the Time Wars was one of those things. The sudden sound of the Doctor's voice jarred her out of her reverie.

“You said I've been dreaming a lot. But of what? It all seems so foggy to me now, but that's somewhat usual for dreams...” he mused. “How frequently did you say I've been having these...nightmare episodes, so to speak?”

She swallowed hard. He really didn't remember? She didn't want to be the one who reminded him of the contents of his night terrors as of late, but she was left with little choice. “You last dreamed of the Time Wars. You said your mother was there, trying to protect you. You absorbed an extreme dose of radiation to save Donna's grandfather. You woke up crying, and that was all you remembered. But you've always had dreams of the other Doctor and what he was doing, just not as often. Used to be only three of four times a year. Lately, it's been every few weeks. This was the first time it happened when you were awake, though...”

The Doctor's eyes clouded with confusion. “Awake? I thought we were sleeping. What happened right before the episode? What were we doing?” His natural curiosity could sometimes be confused for impatience, as his voice often became short and clipped the more excited he got.

Rose laughed and gestured at their bodies, which he was startled to realize were nude. How the hell could he have missed that earlier, especially with Rose nestled up against him? The blood rushing through his head started to pound loudly again, and he doubled over, gasping in pain. He exhaled, a little wisp of something that looked like golden, glittering smoke. With dismay, he realized that his vision was starting to blur.

“Rose...,” he gasped with dawning realization. “Rose, I don't think I was dreaming...” With a sigh, he collapsed to the floor. He was vaguely aware of Rose on her knees at his side, frantically shaking him. The darkness was over taking him again, slowly but surely. And in the distance, there was a bright spot of something that looked like it could be sunlight...


	2. Creature Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an unconscious state, he dreams. When words escape them, the Meta-Crisis and Rose let their bodies do the talking.

Rose and the Meta-Crisis both stared numbly at the spot where only moments earlier the Doctor and Doctor Donna had stood with the TARDIS. Lost in the moment with Rose, they had started dematerializing before either of them could protest or insist on coming along. He couldn't even be angry at Rose when she lunged after the TARDIS, a desperate look on her face. He imagined they both felt the same: abandoned. Possibly a bit betrayed. Terrified at what was to come next, this new life in a new place. 

With only Rose Tyler's cold little hand to hold, the Doctor felt an overwhelming sense of panic. He sank to his knees on the ground, plunging his hands into cold sand as though he could make his world steady by holding onto the earth itself. Without his TARDIS, his sonic screwdriver, his psychic paper, all the odds and ends and pilfered technologies he had amassed over the years...was he even still a Time Lord? Could he still rightfully call himself the Doctor? Perhaps the neutered version of one. He supposed he was now just a mere Gallifreyan with Time Lord DNA, but alas without a Gallifrey there were no more true Gallifreyans. That was a truth so raw, he couldn't allow himself to think about how intensely it still hurt. He felt a fresh wave of grief when he thought of the coat Janis Joplin had given him, on board the TARDIS with his other self. He'd been smashing in that coat!

Lost in her own thoughts, Rose was torn. She couldn't help sneaking looks at the Doctor, who looked exactly as he always had, which was delicious as far as she was concerned. But she wasn't yet to be convinced that he was HER Doctor, or that he could be her Doctor. The real Doctor had sworn they were the same, and yet she knew that was untrue. This doctor was practically human. This Doctor shared Donna's DNA. Yes, those were mere physiological differences, but Donna's influence and the supposedly dangerous anger boiling under the surface were not merely physiological differences. If the Doctor truly believed his duplicate dangerous, if he really loved her why would he have left her with him? Why couldn't they have gone with him on the TARDIS, at least until they found somewhere safe to disembark? 

The TARDIS! Would she ever travel in one again? She was no good at math, she had no idea how long it would take to grow their own from the coral, even at a rate of 59 times quicker than thousands of years. Maybe they would both be dead before they could grow their own TARDIS. The thought of being earthbound forever, and never seeing other worlds again filled her with a great sadness. She was vaguely aware of the hunched form of the other Doctor beside her, and from the look on his face she could tell he was feeling similar. She reached out to him and silently took his hand. She squeezed gently and he looked at her.

“Come on,” he murmured quietly. “Let's get out of here.”

Jackie, Rose and himself all trekked back up the side of the steep incline that led to the top of the cliffs. For a rare change, Jackie was silent as they walked, perhaps sensing the anguish and tension between them. A large hotel built overlooking the edge of the cliffs advertised in neon vacancies and free cable in Norwegian and English, of which he found he now had trouble reading without the help of the TARDIS to translate. Was he destined to be constantly reminded of just how unnecessarily difficult it was to be a human? He felt a flame of rage flicker inside. At the very least, that bastard could've Chameleon Arched him before dumping him on this planet He could've Chameleon Arched them both, if he'd had a single shred of decency, pity, or mercy. But instead, they were left in this half-limbo, where he feared both of them would end up feeling like they'd gotten a watered-down version of the thing they were truly craving. Still, looking at Rose made a different kind of fire come to life inside him and he knew that no matter what happened, he would give his single human life to make sure that she was always safe and warm.

Jackie phoned Pete and had arrangements made for a flight back to England the next day and two hotel rooms for the evening. Wisely, she had decided to give them their privacy. Even Jackie must have sensed the ticking time bomb between them. Could this ever possibly work? Aside from one lonely night on the TARDIS where he and Rose had crossed the threshold of friendship into more carnal territory, there had never been any actual romance between them, just a sexual tension that was almost electric. He was old enough and wise enough though to realize that sexual chemistry only went so far in forming a relationship. He hoped they would not be too different for each other. Rose Tyler was all he had. Rose Tyler had become his world, both literally and figuratively.

That night, they ate a quiet room service dinner and stumbled through some painfully awkward small talk. Only the occasional brush of her hand against his or a smile out from underneath her hair made the evening bearable. That night when Rose was getting ready for bed, she looked shyly over at him before stripping down to just her bra and knickers, which were lacy and white. He let out a soft groan, as just the sight of her made him painfully hard. His human self seemed to have a much harder time getting his hormones under control. She didn't speak, but he took it for what it was-an open invitation. He joined her in stripping out of his clothes, his fingers hesitating on the waistband of his boxer briefs, which were strained tight by his erection. Realizing there was no sense in shyness or modesty, he let the undergarment fall to the floor. He felt his ego swell when he saw the look on Rose's face and couldn't help thinking in his head, “Still got it!”

He flicked off the over head lights and raised the shades. Bathed in the cool wash of moonlight, Rose's skin looked porcelain, her lips and cheeks flushed red with desire, her nipples like the stiff peak on top of a soft mound of meringue, and just as sweet he imagined. His primal instincts kicked in and he made quick work of finding out if that were true. Her breasts thrust up against him as he took one of those sugar candy peaks into his mouth, alternating between gently nibbling and forcefully sucking. Rose moaned softly, her fingers tangled in the messy jungle of his hair. His cock throbbed urgently against the inside of that soft, pale thigh, like fresh cream. Unable to resist the temptations before him, he guided his cock between her legs, letting it graze against the engorged head of her clit. She gasped and bucked her hips against him, urging him forward, silently pleading her desire with her eyes. With a sigh, he thrust up and inside of her and she clung tightly to him, raking her fingernails across his shoulders. He buried his head into the crook of her shoulder and inhaled her heady, intoxicating aroma. His tongue flicked across the shell of her ear before his lips found the soft curve between her neck and jaw. His warm breath against her skin seemed to only excite her more, and he responded by kissing and sucking that sweet spot until it was lightly bruised.

Underneath him, she grew tense and hot and he could sense she was on the verge of climax. With a grin he increased his pace, thrusting deep into her until he too was almost on the verge of release. She cried out softly when she came, growing tight around his iron-hard prick. That added stimulation was all the push he needed, and he spent his pleasure inside her with a guttural moan. The two of them collapsed back against the bed, sweaty and breathless. Tentatively, he reached out for her hand and was both relieved and pleased when she took it. He pulled her against him and draped his arms loosely and protectively around her, as though he were afraid she would somehow disappear. That night there wasn't much talking, but they slept like spoons.


	3. A Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his feverish dreams, the Doctor continues to revisit what happened to him and Rose after they were united. A friend from the future pops in to help.

“Come on you! Don't you do this to me now,” Rose whispered fiercely, pulling up on the Doctor's eyelids and shining a light in them. No response. She scraped her fingernail across the bottom of his foot, a trick a friend who was a prison guard once taught her to see if someone was really asleep or unconscious. She picked up one limp hand and held it against her breast. Not even a twitch. She sat back on her haunches and blew her hair out of her face with an irritated sigh. A digital clock on the bedside table reminded her that the time was 8:37 in the evening. Less than 24 hours to go. She tried not to let the panic creep in, but it was a difficult task. The only other time she'd ever seen him incapacitated like this was right after he regenerated, and she'd felt helpless and useless then, too. But this was worse. This time he only had one heart, and if something was wrong...well, that was it. There would be no tomorrow for Rose in a world without her Doctor.

On the floor, he stirred, shifted and let out a moan. In an instant, Rose was at his side, waiting for another sign. Another little curl of golden smoke escaped his lips and drifted up towards the ceiling before seeming to dissipate. 

“Doctor?” Rose said hopefully. “I know you can hear me. You heard me before when you were like this. Come on Doctor, give me a sign. Let me know you're okay. Are you okay?” He didn't answer, again. With quiet frustration, Rose leaned her head forward in her hands and began to cry.

“Please be okay, Doctor...”

“Doctor....”

“Dooooooctor.....”

“Doctor, are you okay?” Rose looked behind her to see him fidgeting uncomfortably with his clothes. In this get up of jeans and leather jacket, he was reminiscent of the way he had dressed when she'd first met him in his more rugged ninth incarnation. He seemed out of sorts now though, like a child playing dress up in his father's clothes. Of course when she'd brought them home for him from Pete, he'd for once been too polite to say what was on his mind-she could tell now he hated them, and was probably only wearing them to appease her. He would've been happy wearing that blue suit over and over again, and probably would've still been wearing it if he hadn't gotten orange marmalade all over it that morning. Like her, he was still having a hard time adjusting to the new dynamic in their relationship. And the whole half human thing. 

“Yeah, it's just...well, this is awful. I don't know how human men accomplish anything at all like this,” he grumbled.

“Like what?” she asked distractedly, consumed by the task at hand. Without a sonic screwdriver, she was left with a more primitive form of breaking and entering into the part of the Torchwood archives that housed alien technology. By calling in a few favors, she'd managed to get a copy of the master digital key-the swipe card that unlocked every door in Torchwood. The problem was that she still needed an additional 4 digit security code to entire this particular area. She only had three times to get it right before the alarms would go off and put the building into lock down mode, sealing her and the Doctor in the hallway and certainly ending in both her termination and arrest. Her first two guesses had been incorrect, and the sweat was beading up on her brow. She should've planned better, and was ashamed and angry that she hadn't. Why?

“I don't know how they accomplish anything at all, being human. I get an erection every time I look at your bum or accidentally brush up against something, and these tight trousers aren't helping. And apparently that's a biological normality for them. It's rather distracting. You should try 1111 for the security code. I've got a good feeling about it,” the Doctor said, crunching a handful of nuts he'd pulled from his pocket.

“You've got a good feeling about it? I don't think good feelings open locked doors. But if your good feeling ends up being wrong, neither one of us will be feeling too good when security and the police pull up. And then they scan you, realize you're alien, take your alien blood and want to dissect your alien brain. And what's with the peanuts? Are you trying to leave a Hansel and Gretel trail for the security guards?” she snapped back at him. Her stress over getting into the archives was coming out sideways. Their only hope of increasing the growth rate of the TARDIS coral was behind this door, one that even she at her advanced rank didn't normally have access to. It was now or never. She'd distracted the security guards with half a tray of leftover homemade lasagna and a nonchalant mention that she thought she'd left her mobile phone in the office downstairs. She figured she probably had another five minutes or so before one of them might think to look up at the monitors, and there was a camera pointed straight at them.

“All these advances in technology, you'd think they'd come up with a better system than this. A developmentally advanced toddler could crack this thing,” the Doctor said, reaching an arm over her shoulder and punching in some numbers before she could even protest. To her surprise, the security light went from red to green, granting them access. She must have looked impressed, because he just smiled.

“How the hell'd you do that?” she asked, gaping after him as they slipped through the door. The archives were dark, but she was more worried about attracting attention by flicking on the massive floodlights than she was of not being able to find their way. She handed him a torch from her bag, and they both began to examine the contents boxed, bagged and cataloged on the shelves. She didn't know exactly what they were looking for, but the Doctor assured her he would know the necessary equipment when he saw it.

“With a four digit number, there are only so many possible combinations-ten thousand, to be exact. And out of those combinations, there are codes that tend to be the most commonly used, in every time and every place. So while you were fiddling with the door, I was fiddling with the numbers in my brain. And then I took a lucky guess, which very luckily for us turned out to be right. Honestly though, that's a glaring security oversight-leaving the pass code set to the default. It's almost like someone wanted us to get in here...,” he said, turning to sweep his flashlight behind them. Somewhere in the dark warehouse, he thought he heard someone quietly breathing, but he couldn't tell if that was real or just paranoia creeping in. The hair on the back of his neck was standing up. Getting in had been too easy, starting with the leftover lasagna. Really, was anyone ever that enthusiastic about Jackie Tyler's cooking? He was worried they might have just walked into a trap, set by some unknown enemy.

“Doctor, I don't think we're alone,” Rose whispered, clutching at his arm.

“No, I don't think we are, either,” he replied, reaching for the sonic screwdriver he no longer had. That was his security blanket, and he felt a little lost without it.

“Don't scream, it's just me,” a quiet voice said from behind them Naturally, Rose and the Doctor did the exact opposite, letting out startled screams as they turned to look behind them. “Hey, I just told you NOT to do that.”

Carrying his own torch, the familiar form of Jack Harkness materialized out of the darkness. He was carrying a small knapsack, which he handed to Rose. After hugging and kissing them both, he began to speak, the words tumbling from his mouth as though he feared he might not get them out fast enough.

“Listen, I don't have much time-I slipped through one of the last cracks between worlds with my vortex manipulator, and I've got maybe five minutes before it closes back up, possibly ripping me to shreds if I happen to get stuck in time. I feel like that might hurt, so I'm trying to avoid it. Everything you need to grow your TARDIS coral is in that bag. You can go out the door in the left corner of the warehouse to get back to the parking lot. I wouldn't linger long, though. Good luck, you crazy kids!” With a press of a button and a flourish, Jack was gone as quickly as he came, leaving the Doctor and Rose to stare, dumbfounded, at the place where he had been.

“What do you think that was about?” she asked, as the Doctor sifted excitedly through the contents of the backpack.

“I'm not quite sure. I thought all the holes in this universe had already closed, but it hasn't been that long. I suppose some of them might still be in the process of sealing. Oh hey, well would you look at that?” he crowed delightedly, holding up what was unmistakably a sonic screwdriver. Hauling the bag over his shoulder, he took Rose's hand and began picking his way towards where he thought the exit door might be.

“Hey, wait a minute! We went through all the trouble of getting in here, don't you want to at least look around? There's all kinds of things stored in here...” she said, letting her eyes wander as they walked. A jar on one shelf glowed a virulent purple, illuminating other terrifying curiosities on the shelves nearby. Of course she was drawn to those things-after so much time with the Doctor, how could she not be?

“Of course I want to look around, but I gather our friend Captain Harkness warned us not to dawdle for a reason. That other universe is the future Rose-he probably knew something you and I don't and he couldn't tell us,” he said, brandishing his shiny new screwdriver at an old and decrepit looking door. He laughed again when it made it's trademark sonic buzz. “Allons-y, Rose!”

They stepped out into the damp night air, pulling the door shut behind them. Quickly, he used the screwdriver to seal the lock, and they started making their way back to Rose's TARDIS blue Spyder convertible, a gift from Pete. While Rose drove them back to the flat, the Doctor gleefully examined the contents of the bag, telling Rose what each instrument was as he turned them over in his hands. 

The Doctor's exuberance was contagious. His own TARDIS! It was within reach, something he hadn't actually thought was possible when his other self had given him that piece of coral, which at the time he had just seen as some sort of consolation prize to being left behind. Whooping with joy, he scooped everything back into the bag, rolled the top down, and looked up at the stars he knew he was destined to return to. What he didn't notice though was the little scrap of paper that had been tucked inside the bag, now drifting out of the car and away on the wind. If he had seen it, maybe it would've changed things. But then again, perhaps not.

The little scrap of paper read, “The best is yet to come. But so is the worst.”


	4. Another Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and the Doctor lay their feelings bare to each other.

Six Months Later...

A pensive Doctor stroked the chunk of TARDIS coral, planted in its little box of sand. It was rapidly outgrowing its space though, and as Jackie Tyler had declined to let them park it in her and Pete's back garden, they would soon need to find an alternative space for it.

“Help enable you to go swanning off again, across the universe with my daughter? I've kind of gotten used to having her around and not worrying about whether or not she'd been vaporized by a knobby looking garbage bin on wheels or something else awful. No, I think not. Park your little experiment in someone else's garden!” she'd huffed when the question had been posed to her. No amount of pleading from Rose or himself could persuade her otherwise. Never mind the blind rage he'd felt when she'd intimated that Daleks were somehow similar to a normal, non-threatening household item.

“This is why I hate renting,” Rose had grumbled on the drive home from Jackie and Pete's that night. “I've got a nest egg, now I think it's time I use it to buy a nest of my own. Torchwood has good benefits, at least. I'm tired of eating takeaway chicken because my kitchen is the size of a postage stamp. And if we had a garden of our own, we wouldn't have to worry about where to put the TARDIS.”

“You want to buy a house? That feels so...permanent. Grounding. Are you sure you want to be tied to one place like that? We've traveled the universe and seen different worlds, but there's still so much in this world that we haven't seen. We could go to the Blue Lagoon in Iceland! Or the pyramids of Egypt! The Coliseum, the Great Wall of China...well, assuming all those places still exist in Pete's World, this world, which I think some of them must at least. But still...don't you want to know what else is out there? I don't feel like our adventure has ended, Rose.” The Doctor felt a small tug of panic on his heart at the thought of settling down. That was the traveler, the Time Lord in him, balking at the idea of ever just standing still for a while. But the human part of him, the part of him that had once upon a time been John Smith, longed for his own version of the house with a white picket fence.

“Down, boy. Wow. You sound like I've just told you I'm driving you to your own execution! It's just a house, Doctor. A home. A chance at a real life together, all our own. You promised me that, promised to spend your human life with me. Buying a house doesn't mean we have to become boring and never go anywhere ever again. Hell, who said we had to buy a house in England? You speak every language known to man, and with your sonic, screw driver and psychic paper you're as good as unstoppable. You could charm your way into a good job anywhere. And I can adapt, just like I always did. Doctor, we both only have one life to live. We can't spend it waiting on a new TARDIS to grow,” she said gently.

“I don't get you. You ran after the other Doctor, the TARDIS. I know what you were running after. You were running after him, yeah, but really you were running after the life you had when you were a time traveler, too. Don't deny it, Rose! It's in your blood now as much as it's in mine. You settled for Torchwood, just like I settled for being a university professor. After everything I've shown you, you can't tell me you don't want more,” he said, an edge creeping into his voice. Was this what a human love spat was like? Oh my, but wasn't it just awful?

“How dare you! I do want more. Of course I want more. Why do you think I started working for Torchwood, anyway? It was a way to be close to the stars again, even if it was only distantly! I thought I was honoring your legacy. I thought I'd never see you again. I grieved for you! Don't you get that? Is it okay that for me, as a human, just having you here with me is more than I could've ever hoped for? Is it so wrong for me to just want to to stand still for a moment with the man who is as good as risen from the dead and imagine the life we could have together? Would it be so wrong if my more was just you and I, settling down and having a family of our own? I'm 30 years old and I feel so much older after everything that I've seen. I guess I want it all, though. I want the TARDIS, but I don't want to have to share you with the rest of the universe. Not just yet,” she whispered, tears cutting tracks down her cheeks. Even as he could see her trembling with emotion, her hand was steady on the wheel.

“Rose, I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. He felt trapped in this tiny car, boxed in with all their emotions. His one heart beat like a caged bird.

“Yeah, I bet. You always say that, right before or after you're done dashing a person's hopes and dreams, or otherwise letting them down,” she muttered bitterly.

“Oi, Rose! Is that really how you think of me? Of course I'm sorry. I don't ever want to cause you pain. I'm sorry. I do want those things with you. I know I do. It's just...I've been running for so long, I'm afraid I've forgotten how to stand still. I'm afraid. It's been a very, very long time since I've been a husband or a father. I'm terrified I'll muck it up beyond all belief,” he said, folding his hands and looking at his lap.

Rose was silent at his admission, her face was unreadable. They drove the rest of the ride back to the flat in an uncomfortably thick silence, save for Rose cursing when another driver cut her off at a round about. When he unlocked the front door to their flat, she pushed past him and headed straight into the bedroom. He didn't need to test the door to know it would be locked. Of all the terribly, typically human things to happen, he had been relegated to the sofa!

So here he was, stripped down to his shorts and laying in the TARDIS coral's sandbox. He knew this little piece of his wonderful time machine understood him just through his touch. Their communication had always been wordless, but almost always mutually understood. It was a Time Lord's gift, that telepathic link. He almost felt himself nodding off when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake.

“Alright then. You might be a bit of a slag, but you're my slag. We're both still so new at this whole playing house thing, maybe buying a real house would be too much right now. I hate admitting it when you're right. But you should come to bed. Really. I'm cold, and your human self is just the right temperature, for a change,” Rose said with a smile.

Groggily, he conceded and let Rose herd him into the bedroom. He was just on the verge of slipping back off to sleep when she spoke again. Gah!

“Don't you think it's weird though, how Jack just showed up like that, with a goodie bag full of Time Lord technology. It was all so convenient. How did he know when and where to find us?”

“Are you still stuck on that? Rose, he's maybe very probably invincible. He saw an opportunity to slip through a time tear and help us before it closed, and knew that he probably was one of the only people who could make a trip like that and come out alive again on the other side. He loves us, we're his friends. You're human, I know you get how strong the bonds of friendship can be. Why is that so weird for you to accept?”

“I don't know. I suppose because I struggled so hard, so long to get back to you, that it just feels weird for something so serendipitous to happen,” she said, reaching out for his hand in the dark. He squeezed back reassuringly, letting his actions speak for him. They fell asleep, clinging tight to each other. When a few hours later his eyes snapped open and he jerked out of the bed with a terrified cry, he took Rose with him. Both of them went tumbling out of the bed, thumping softly onto the carpet.

“Good lord, Doctor, have you gone mad?” She asked breathlessly from underneath him. They had landed so that he was on top of her, pinning her down. It was a position that had come to be familiar in the past months and normally would've elicited an almost immediate physical reaction from him, but this time his terror acted as a damper on his hormones.

“It was awful, Rose. I was dreaming. Poor Donna, her human mind couldn't handle a Time Lord conscience. I dreamed I had to wipe her memory and take her back to Earth. It was like I never even happened to her...” he whispered sadly.

“Right. But it was just a dream Doctor, you know...cor, your hands are cold!” she gasped suddenly.

“It was snowing in my dream, Rose.”

“Okay, that's weird. But still, just a dream. I'm going to close the window, it's drafty in here,” she sighed, heaving herself out from underneath him. She leaned out to pull the window in, but he could see her linger for a moment, wistfully gazing up at the sky. He sympathized.

“Right, just a dream,” he repeated. “Of course a dream. I'm stressing myself out. Being forgotten by the people I care about... I guess that's just about the most awful thing one could have a nightmare about. Besides maybe Daleks,” he said, thoughtfully. 

“It must've been a nightmare, Doctor. You know it would be impossible to forget you,” she said with a smile.

“Mmm, I'm quite certain it actually is possible to forget me, as inconceivable as it may be to you. But I'm happy that's a thought that apparently hadn't crossed your mind,” he murmured, folding his arms around her and drawing her in. This time, they fell asleep and slept peacefully.


	5. Run Doctor Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torchwood is after Rose for a reason she won't share, and her and the Doctor are forced to trust a new friend to help them flee.

“Who's my little TARDIS in the making? You are!” he chuckled happily, patting the coral. He didn't know that the sound of his voice encouraged growth, but he liked to believe that it had a positive effect.

“Oh damn, John. Maybe you didn't need that second hash brownie,” his colleague chuckled from the doorway. From the sitting room behind her, John Lennon imagined a world with no religion. “You're talking to a rock garden. A strange, sparse rock garden.”

Professor Jayne Miller was his exceptionally cool coworker in the philosophy department of the local community college. They were currently co-teaching a Senior seminar course on existentialism in film, and had fast bonded during their lesson planning sessions. The first time, she had invited him to her house for coffee (she was American) and had introduced him to her elderly ginger cat, Hugo. A cross stitch hanging on the wall proclaimed “I Heart Sartre”. She told him of the time her car had broken down outside of Anton LaVey's house, and he'd given her some of his coolant, which she still kept in the trunk of her car. So wonderfully intriguing, perfectly American. One of the first women in her college to earn her Doctorate in philosophy.

She was from Washington state, from the town where she said they'd filmed a bunch of terrible vampire movies at. Around the time they'd gotten popular she had left, wanting to avoid tourist town life. Being of perfect mid-life crisis age at the time, she said she'd always wanted to see England, so she just picked up and moved there. She'd hitchhiked around both Ireland and Scotland for a while, before she met a department chair from a small London college on holiday. He'd offered her a job as an adjunct; she had accepted and moved to a ridiculously tiny flat in Covent Garden. He couldn't help but think she would've been a perfect companion for traveling on the TARDIS with. And then he felt a flash of guilt at the thought of being disloyal to Rose. 

“It's not a rock garden, it's coral. Coral's a living thing, you know. Don't you ever talk to your plants?” he said, scrambling to his hands and knees. 

“Sure I do. Right before they die. I kind of have a black thumb. Can you kill coral? I should probably stay away from it, just in case,” she said, scooting away from the sandbox.

“Nonsense, you can't kill this stuff. It's living, breathing telepathic coral. And one day, it will be a spaceship!” he said proudly. It was only when he saw the look she was giving him that he had his moment of realization. “Oh gods, did I just say that out loud? Never mind, you're right...I've definitely had too much. No more hash brownies for me!”

“Those weren't really hash brownies. They were Little Debbie's Cosmic Brownies a friend sent me from home. I was just kidding when I told you that,” she said, a curious look on her face.

“Oh..right. Well, I suppose it's safe to say I'm a bit of a nutter, just your average eccentric professor. Sorry if I've creeped you out,” he said, laughing nervously. What in the name of the Satan Pit was wrong with him? Why would he have just mentioned this to a woman he barely knew, when they'd gone through such pains to keep up the appearances that he was just your average human professor, living with his lovely girlfriend Rose? Wiping all the records of the other Doctor's visits to Pete's World had been no easy feat, but luckily Mickey's tech friends at Torchwood were loyal.

Speak of the devil, the back door of the flat came flying open and Rose crashed into the room, breathing heavily. She was wearing a hospital gown, no shoes, and she looked frightened and disheveled. She used him as a post on which to steady herself and her breathing. “Who the hell is that?” she wheezed, tossing a glance Jayne's way.

“Oh uh, she's just a coworker from the philosophy department...Rose, what the hell happened? Are you okay?” he asked, changing the subject. Everything about her appearance right now was setting off cloister bells in his head. Something was very, very wrong.

“No, I'm not okay. Torchwood is coming after me, and if they catch me they'll lock me away and you'll never see me again. We gotta go. Grab your tools, anything foreign looking. My parents can come secure the place later. But you and me? We gotta go now!” she hissed, grabbing his hand and tugging to convey the urgency of the matter. He knew he should feel anxiety, but absurdly, he felt thrilled. An adventure! A challenge! 

And Rose in danger. Again. Bugger it all! His heart skipped a beat, torn between two emotional extremes. But he didn't have time to think about it-Rose was slamming his tools into the knapsack and shoving the TARDIS coral into his open hands. Sometime in the interim where he'd been lost in his thoughts, she'd changed into jeans, a sweater and trainers. She hustled him and Jayne out the door and onto the landing. Jayne cast a confused look at him over her shoulder as they all sprinted down the stairs, but he couldn't acknowledge it, not now.

“I don't believe it,”Rose exclaimed in disbelief, staring at the empty driveway. “The car is gone. I must have left the keys in the ignition, I was in such a rush. This neighborhood!” She was flushed, feverish and ill looking. And careless. That was so unlike the older, wiser Rose he had come to know. Whatever was going on was serious enough to have significantly impaired her judgment. For their sake, he hoped it had been a lucky teenager seizing an opportunity and not something more organized and sinister.

“Uh, I have a car. I can drive you somewhere. I actually have a summer house in Scotland, if you're up for the drive. Whoever these people after you are, they probably aren't looking for a grey Honda Civic with a broken tail light.”

As he was saying “yes”, Rose's emphatic answer from next to him was “No!”

“No. Absolutely not. Right now is not the time to be trusting our safety to one of your work buddies. What's her incentive to help us? What if we end up getting her hurt? Haven't you said you were tired of other people being harmed in your name?” Rose asked, tilting her eyebrows up at him.

“No? Rose, what are you thinking? You said Torchwood was after you. Now is no time for your silly insecurities! Swallow your pride. Accept the help, at least for now. How many other times have I gotten us out of harm's way flying by the seat of my trousers? I don't see you offering any alternative solutions,” his gaze was steely. Rose's face was still red, but he sensed now that was more from shame and wounded pride than anything else. “Sorry, I was being rude again, wasn't I?”

Rose didn't answer answer him, but rather climbed into the back seat of Jayne's Honda. He could feel her eyes on him, and he immediately felt remorse for the way he'd spoken to her. It seemed all the human empathy he'd developed over the past months had gone flying out the window. Now he was sensing that he might have gravely fucked up the situation, whatever it was. Hastily, he slid into the back seat next to Rose as Jayne hopped into the front of her silly car with the driver's side on the left. She pulled away from the curb calm and slow, as though she had every right to be there. Arousing no suspicion, hopefully.

“Great. This won't be at all awkward and uncomfortable for the long drive to fucking Scotland,” Rose spat finally, after they'd been driving for nearly an hour.

“I wish you'd just tell me what was going on,” he whispered, trying to take her hand. He was surprised when she refused to allow him to. Perhaps he had wounded her far more deeply than he had initially realized. And there was that stab of fear, the sense that he had made a mess of it.

“I don't know if I want to tell you right now. I'm still seething. Let me seethe.”

“Fine, stew in your own juices. But you know I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on. And you know I just want to help you, Rose. I'm the Doctor,” he said, shrugging his shoulders helplessly.

“What's going on is we're running. Just like we always have been, just like we always will be,” she said, almost wistfully. She then fell silent, and her face had that closed look on it that indicated the conversation was over, at least for now. 

To her credit, Jayne didn't add to the tension by attempting at awkward conversation. Every now and then, she snatched a glance at him in the rear view mirror, but perhaps sensing the gravity of the situation, she opted not to speak. Around the border between England and Scotland, the Doctor offered to switch with Jayne and drive so she could take a break. He purposefully ignored the dagger look Rose sent at him, convinced that if the two got a chance to talk to each other, she would warm up to her the same way she had eventually warmed to Sarah Jane. Besides, even Rose had to understand you don't bite the hand that feeds. None the less, she leaned her head against the window and refused eye contact with anyone else in the car.

He drove through the night with the radio on low while both women slept in the back seat, his eyes trained on the road ahead. Fog rolled through the glens and across the narrow roads, shrouding everything in a silken mist that seemed almost alien. When the radio station faded out into crackling static, he jumped a little in his seat. He was nervous, apparently, or at least his body seemed to think so. He fumbled his fingers over the buttons on the dash and punched the tape deck on. Morrissey advised him not to forget the songs that saved his life, and he found himself nodding in agreement. The Smiths were okay by him. 

Through the fog, he kept thinking he saw shadows moving out of the corners of his eyes. Nine hundred plus years of time travel had made him constantly wary. Shadows were almost never just shadows, which was something he had learned early on and the hard one way, naturally. Though his time on this world had been remarkably normal to his standards, save for their random encounter with Jack Harkness. Despite what he had said to Rose, it still bothered him too sometimes when he thought about it. The time rift should have already closed when he had slipped through to them. It wasn't impossible that a small tear could have remained, but it seemed unlikely. Weird.

He knew it wasn't too much longer to go, and knowing they were in the home stretch was quite the relief. He was starting to feel a little bit better when he heard a pop and felt the car jerk to the right. Still somewhat unaccustomed to the set up of the American car, he fumbled and found himself fishtailing off the road and onto the grass, nearly crashing into the remains of a crumbling stone fence. His heart fluttered wildly as he put the car in park and turned off the engine. In the seat behind him, he could hear Rose and Jayne stirring unhappily.

“Smooth driving!” Rose exclaimed petulantly, casting him a meaningful look. He could almost read her mind in the look she was giving him, the poor spaceman who could pilot a spaceship, but not an ordinary car.

“It's probably a flat tire. I've got a jack and a spare in the trunk. Or boot. Whatever you want to call it,” Jayne mumbled, climbing out of the car. Wordlessly, the Doctor handed her the keys, and together they assessed the car. The right passenger side tire was definitely flat. Rose got out of the car finally and took a look around them.

“Creepy. The fog is like something out of a scary movie. Where are we?” she asked.

“Something tells me you'd probably rather not know,” Jayne's voice was grim as she hunkered on the ground, maneuvering the jack under the car.. “It'll just freak you out. Anyway, hang tight and we'll be back on the road in a jiffy. I umm...I think I'll drive the rest of the way though, if it's all the same to everyone else. It's barely two kilometers from here.”

Rose and the Doctor both mumbled their agreement with this, taking a seat on the crumbling stone wall. This time, when he reached out for her hand, she let him take it. He could tell she was unnerved. 

“So, you going to tell me what's going on yet? I don't mind running with you, but I usually like to at least know why I'm running,” he said quietly.

“Not right now. I don't want to talk about it here. Not while I'm worrying about axe-wielding serial killers in the woods. And your friend there, telling me I'll be creeped out. What a laugh! Let her face gas mask zombies and Cybermen and then she can come talk to me about being creeped out,” she said sourly, crossing her arms around herself. He took off his jacket and draped it across her shoulders.

Behind them, a crow cackled loudly. Rose turned, startled, and peered into the darkness. She gripped his hand tighter. “It's a cemetery, Doctor,” she whispered quietly, pointing. He followed her gaze to a crumbling statue of a weeping woman sitting high a top one of the mausoleums. Yes, creepy indeed. He stared, his stomach curdling.

“Don't blink!” he blurted out, stumbling back from the wall.

“Ready to go, folks!” Jayne called, shutting the lid on the trunk and dusting her hands off. The Doctor herded the women into the car, all the while keeping his gaze on the cemetery. It was only when the car was in gear and they were a kilometer down the road that he let his breath out. He still kept his head cocked towards the back window, watching and waiting expectantly. Nothing did come after them, but he was still uneasy, remembering the last time he'd encountered a similar statue. He'd been spooked and on edge though before their flat tire, he reasoned, so he was probably just further projecting that fear. He hoped that was all it was, anyway. The alternative was definitely much worse.

It was still dark out when they pulled up next to Jayne's house, although the eerie mist seemed to have moved back out. He shrugged the knapsack over his shoulder and gave a sleeping Rose a gentle shake. She smacked his hand away with a grumble, but peeled herself out of the car to follow them up the back stairs to the door. 

“Blimey, it's freezing in here,” Rose said, pulling the Doctor's jacket tighter around her. 

“Yeah, it tends to do that. I'll start a fire in a little bit, should warm the place right up,” Jayne said with forced cheerfulness. 

Rose felt a momentary stab of guilt at her rudeness before her irritation reared its head again. Trusting their safety to a stranger! She supposed he'd been right at the time, that going with Jayne was their only option, or at least the most immediate. She couldn't even be worried about the stolen car, which was small potatoes compared to everything else going on. Her stomach did flip flops as she thought about all the events that had transpired that day at Torchwood. She couldn't go back. She was in a strange woman's house in Scotland, and she could only imagine the things probably going through the other woman's mind. How much of the secret bits of whispered conversation Jayne might have possibly overheard...

They couldn't stay here long, but she didn't know where else they would go. She looked up, feeling the Doctor's piercing gaze on her from across the room. He was being polite, giving her space, but his eyes said everything. He was worried, and with good reason, though he might not know it yet. Or maybe he did. She could never tell anymore. He said the human physiology had compromised most of his telepathic abilities, but he still often seemed to just know things. Not just occasionally finishing her sentences (which was more frequent and less occasional), but other things. She would be at work craving chips and come home to find him pulling a batch out of the oven. Stuff like that. The look he was giving her right now made her feel like somehow, he was poking into the corners of her mind. She deliberately looked away.

“Well, I'm going to bed. The guest room is already made up for you guys. Good night,” Jayne said, slipping out of the room before Rose could shake herself out of her thoughts. The fire was burning, and she and the Doctor were alone. It was perfectly romantic, of course, and maybe that had been Jayne sensing they needed that moment. He smiled at her and shrugged, seeming to say he was ready to talk whenever she was. She was only prolonging the inevitable, and she knew it. Finally, she took a deep breath and spoke.

“I'm just about warmed up now. I think I'll head to bed. Long day and all that,,” she said quickly, folding his jacket over the arm of the sofa. She still couldn't muster the strength to retell the story of the day that might endanger everything they had together. She wiggled her fingers at him though, their universal gesture for 'come with me'. He raised his eyebrows at her just slightly, but acquiesced and followed her to the guest bedroom. Whatever had happened at Torchwood would have to wait until tomorrow.


	6. Rose's Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose finally tells the Doctor why they're running, and an emotional conversation follows.

Rose awoke to a stiff neck, fervent knocking on the door, and the unmistakable sounds of Jackie Tyler in total annoyance mode. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked over at the Doctor, who was still stretched out on the floor. The very subtle rise and fall of his chest told her he was still breathing, but his failure to stir in spite of the ruckus at the door suggested he was still deep somewhere inside himself. She had fallen asleep sitting next to him, keeping watch.

“Oi, you two, whatever you're doing can't possibly be more important than having breakfast with your family. Up and at 'em!” Jackie bellowed, punctuating this demand with another string of rapid-fire knocks. Rose was torn: ignore the knocking and hope things sorted themselves out, or let her mother in on it and all the worries she was currently having. She couldn't help but cry, wondering if this really was the beginning of the end for her and the Doctor. If he left her now, she didn't think she could bear it. Not in this world, not after fighting so hard to get him back. Finally, she got up, shrugged one of the hotel's robes over her shoulders, tossed a blanket over the naked Doctor, and opened the door a crack.

“Right, about time then! I know you're both young and fertile, or at least you are, not so sure about him, not so sure I really want to pause and think about the mechanics of it.... But anyway, you missed breakfast! Everyone waited for you two. What's going on?” she demanded, hands on her hips.

That was when Rose lost it, unable to contain her tears. Jackie's face softened immediately, and she slipped into the room, closing the door behind them. Her sights landed on the supine form of the Doctor, and her eyes narrowed.

“Did he go out on a bender last night? I thought he wasn't much of a drinker... Well, nerves and all that... Is that why you're crying? Because he went out and got drunk and is passed out now? That would probably be one of the most human things he's ever done, under the circumstances. Even aliens probably get nerves on occasion. Anyway, you've got time before you need to get going. No worries. This is all normal,” Jackie said soothingly.

“No Mum, it's not that... Something's wrong with him and I don't know what. It's like it was the time he first regenerated, except well...he doesn't seem to be regenerating. He's been out like this since last night, and I can't shake him awake. He was breathing out that golden stuff again, too, the excess regeneration energy or whatever it is. I don't know. I don't know what's going on, or why, and the person I would normally ask is currently passed out and oblivious! Mum...what if this is it? What if he's dying?” Rose sobbed with frustration. Jackie put an arm around her and made motherly hushing noises.

“Darling, I know you're upset, but try to calm down. Yes, he's more human, but he's still part alien. He's hardier than you or I, you know? You've got to be logical about this. Since the Doctor can't help you, you've got to help yourself to help him. Think like he would. What would the Doctor do?”

“That's the problem, Mum. I don't know what he would do. He would just know. I already tried making a cup of tea earlier, and even that didn't seem to help and that was pretty much my last resort,” said Rose, crossing her arms across her chest and pacing around the room. It wasn't like she had much to go on here.

“These Norwegians have rubbish tea anyhow, it's not not strong enough.” Jackie knelt beside the Doctor, taking his hand in hers and feeling his wrist for a pulse. Faint, but detectable. She put her head to his chest and listened, frowning as she did. “I don't understand.”

“Don't understand what?” Rose asked, momentarily stopping her nervous pacing.

“Well...come and listen. You're the alien expert out of us two,” Jackie said simply. So Rose listened.

What she heard was incomprehensible.

* * * * *

Rose and the Doctor were both light sleepers. It was a necessary adaptation of being a time traveler, often stuck in dangerous places for extended times but still needing rest and shelter. Both of them woke with a start at the sound of a car leaving the driveway. Probably Jayne. A note left on the kitchen counter confirmed that she had gone out on a Sainsbury's run. Helpfully, left next to the note was a half-empty box of PG Tips, some sugar, and quaintly enough, a glass bottle of what seemed to be fresh cream. A welcomed respite, Rose wasted no time putting on the kettle.

The Doctor made a show of his morning yawn and stretch, something that was a new invention of his more human self. He required more sleep than the average Time Lord, but significantly less than the average human. Still, he was usually a little crabbier in the mornings. It was only after tea had been poured and fixed that they sat at the table and started talking.

“So,” Rose said, toying with her spoon.

“So?” The Doctor replied, raising his eyebrows at her. This was her show, and they both knew it. Was it finally time to raise the curtain?

“Torchwood knows you're here. They know we have a chunk of TARDIS coral, and they will stop at nothing to get it. Not to speak of the things they would do just to get you in an exam and interrogation room,” Rose said, shuddering at the thought. She was under no illusions of the way Torchwood operated when there was a piece of technology they REALLY wanted to get their hands on. This universe's Torchwood wasn't run by a benevolent master like Captain Jack. After assisting in saving the world though, she had been granted a certain amount of respect and privacy regarding what happened. As far as her boss and coworkers knew, the Doctor had returned to his own universe. Of course, the random memory probes they were all subjected to had fixed that illusion. She had managed to create a diversion and escape before they could completely delve into her memories of what had happened, but not before they had caught a glimpse of her and the two Doctors standing on the beach in Norway. That was all the encouragement they needed to launch a full investigation, though.

“Oh, is that it then? Well, that's a relief. You were acting so strange, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant or had contracted Silurian Fever or something else like that. When I saw the hospital gown, I assumed the issue was medical.”

“That's it? I have to leave my job and family to run for my life, and that's it? I've made an awful lot of sacrifices for you, how many more do you think I should make before it finally becomes worth something?” Rose asked, her tone dangerously quiet. He knew that tone. It was the secret tone every woman reserves for those special moments when she needs every set of testicles in the room to shrink. With dismay, the Doctor found it was working. He was being rude again. Well, a little more than rude, bordering on tactless and insensitive probably. The addition of Donn’s DNA to his physiology had naturally made him that much more sarcastic and acerbic, and he found the words were often out of his mouth before he'd had a chance to filter what he was thinking.

“Oh, you know what I mean, Rose. It's not nearly as terrible a thing as you could imagine. We're safe, aren't we? If there is anything that you and I are good at it, it's running. The first time we ever met, I told you to run. Now here we are again, doing just that. Running. Well, Torchwood hasn't got anything on us, baby. This is it, Rose. Our next adventure. Maybe it doesn't seem like it right now, but this might be everything we were waiting and hoping for.”

“If I didn't know any better, I'd almost be inclined to think you were excited about this. What about the TARDIS, though? How are we going to flee Torchwood without that? They've got technology from just about every alien race ever at their disposal, and all we've got is your sonic screwdriver and a few other things. How can we hope to compete with all that? We can't run or hide forever. I think you forget sometimes that you only have one heart now.”

“Rubbish. We've got plenty of things that Torchwood doesn't have. Namely, me and my incredibly vast knowledge, if you'll pardon my hubris. I've defeated enemies with nothing more than a teaspoon and an open mind before, I'm rather certain I could do it again if it was required. Especially with a beautiful and intelligent woman at my side,” he said with a wink. Rose just rolled her eyes at him. He could see he was going to need to lay it on a little thicker if he was going to make up for his earlier comments. Such was his now human (mostly) life.

“Well that's a refreshing change from human men. Bragging about the size of something other than your...never mind. When Jayne gets back, I'll have to see if she has a phone so I can get in touch with my mum and Pete. I'm sure they're worried sick about us. Or at least me, anyway,” Rose said with a smirk as she drained her cup and poured another.

“Your mum hates me. Which, to her credit, I guess I can't say I blame her. Isn't that par for the course though, in human relationships? You never get along with your in-laws,” he said, leaning back in his chair and resting his feet on the edge of the table. The withering look Rose shot him was like the looks his mother had given him when he was up to nonsense as a child. That was a road he wasn't sure he wanted to head down today, though. “I do wish you could've met my parents, though. My mother would've loved you, I think. You were very much alike...” he said this thoughtfully, a far off look on his face.

“My mother doesn't hate you, you just freak her out sometimes. And we aren't married, so you don't have in-laws anyway,” Rose said quickly, seeing the look in the Doctor's eyes and sensing that an immediate distraction were needed before the remembrance became melancholy.

“You humans and your concept of marriage. Where I come from, marriage is a state of mind, a place in your heart, something that can transcend time and space, race and gender. Not just a piece of paper and a shared tax burden; it's so much more than that. If we were on Gallifrey, you would've been my wife ages ago, when you came to save me and I saved you in return!” he said, the words coming out perhaps a little more sharply than intended. Still, their meaning was not lost on Rose and he could see that. She leaned across the table and kissed him firmly on the mouth.

“So then let's get married. We're not on Gallifrey, we're on Earth, or at least some version of it. That's how they do things here. They get married and share their tax burdens, and if they're lucky, maybe their hopes and fears and dreams, too. But we can share so much more than that, and we already have. You're such a nutter sometimes, Doctor. You say these things as if you think it wasn't what I've wanted all along anyway. Like I'm going to fight against it or something. I told you before I was ready to settle down and try to make a normal life with you, and you were the one who expressed doubts. Being your companion was wonderful, and if that was all I could ever have I would gladly take just that. Being your girlfriend though, of course it's amazing. But being your wife? Sublime, I'd have to think. I love you. It's only you, it always had to be. Once I met you, there couldn't ever be anyone else.”

“The couple not even time and space could keep apart,” he said quietly, taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. There were unspoken words in both of their eyes, but Jayne picked that moment to come bustling in through the back door, her arms loaded with groceries. The moment was lost, at least for now.

“Oh good, I see you found the tea. Figured I could at least leave you that while I was shopping. A guy down the road owns a dairy farm, and he drops off a bottle of fresh cream if he sees I'm here. Owes me from tutoring his daughter in English one summer. I'm kind of surprised he still leaves it for me actually, as it was a couple of years ago. Anyway, food. It's here, if anyone wants a real breakfast,” Jayne chattered merrily as she flitted around the kitchen, putting the food away.

“Don't take this the wrong way, but you are way too...zesty for this early hour of the morning,” Rose grumbled, stirring at the dregs of her tea.

“I know, it's obnoxious, right? But I am a morning person, whether I like it or not. Every day like clockwork, I'm awake at six in the morning. Can't help it. I've been a professor too long, I guess,” she said, her head in the fridge. “Oh damn...totally forgot I left THAT in there. Don't open this Tupperware guys, it's definitely hit science experiment status. Hey, do you like Eggs Benedict? I make a mean from-scratch Hollandaise sauce.”

“I think we're alright for now Jayne, thank you. Rose and I were just about to go for a walk, weren't we Rose?” he said, taking her hand and pulling her into a standing position. He was no longer able to endure the 'please help!' look she was shooting him, so decided now was a perfect time to make an exit. “Maybe when we get back, though. And I suppose we'll need to go into town to get clothes and what not later.”

“Oh hey, sure thing. Sorry, I didn't even think about that. There's actually a really nice charity shop around the corner, if you don't mind used clothes. I like it, since everything is already all soft and worn in. Or we could drive into the city, if you'd prefer to go to Marks or something.”

“The charity shop would be just fine,” Rose quickly answered, thinking it would be best to stick close and stay out of the city areas, where they were more likely to be seen on surveillance cameras at some point. Torchwood knew how to use such things to their advantage, and she had no intentions of making it easy on them if they were going to try and find her. The Doctor nodded his agreement, and they slipped out the back door.

Outside, a persistent sun attempted at poking through the clouds. It was windy, but otherwise unseasonably warm. A beautiful day for a post-engagement walk, the Doctor thought giddily to himself, a definite skip in his walk. Though they were holding hands, he kept stealing little glances at Rose and smiling. The seventh time he did it, she finally said something.

“What you keep lookin' at me like that for, weirdo? Anyone sees us walking about, they're going to think you've got the afternoon off from the loony bin.”

“What, I can't look at my blushing bride to be with love and excitement in my eyes?” he retorted. “Don't be mad, but I think this is the happiest I've been since the day you and I were reunited. A new adventure, new wife, new life! But what about you? You seem...subdued. Aren't you excited? I mean granted, I am enthusiastic enough for the both of us right now, but you're the girl. I guess I expected a little more....” At a loss for words, he instead chose to demonstrate by jumping up and down and giggling.

“Course I'm excited, silly. It's just...I have so much on my mind, you know? The whole running for my life thing and all. I got used to running with you before, but this is a little different. If Torchwood catches up with me, I can't go nipping off to 1892 until they get tired of looking or die, whichever comes first. Don't get me wrong, I dreamed of this day, Doctor. I spent so much time thinking about the life we could've had after I lost you. I pictured a thousand different proposals and a thousand different weddings, too. It just feels anticlimactic, that's all. This isn't the way I pictured it happening, you know? It was more like a business deal than an invitation to share a life together, something convenient for both of us. Can't even really get excited about planning a wedding when I have no idea if we'll even get to have a real wedding or when. I don't know, I'm just being stupid”

“You're disappointed,” he said, crestfallen. “Oh Rose, I'm sorry. I'm sorry there was no sparkly ring in a glass of champagne, no down on one knee or romancing. You deserve all those things. I still want to give them to you, on a day when we aren't running for our lives. Being human...ish is still weird for me sometimes. I guess I didn't even think about all that stuff.”

“Never mind all that nonsense. That's a typical engagement, and you and I aren't a typical couple. I told you, I'm just being silly. Besides, all that stuff you said to me about marriage being in your heart was quite romantic. The more I think about it, the more I think it was pretty perfect exactly the way it was,” she said, kissing him to illustrate her point. Caught in the emotion of the moment, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hungrily, drawing her deeper into his embrace. For a while they stood in the road hugging, not speaking, just standing still with each other while the world kept moving. A crow cawed loudly, as if chiding them for the public display of affection.

“We're by that cemetery again,” Rose whispered into his chest, the wind catching her hair and blowing it across them like a veil. He turned to look over his shoulder and was again pierced by the creeping, idiot gaze of the mourning statue atop one of the crypts. Not a Weeping Angel, but decidedly unnerving in spite of that. He felt watched, and not in the sense most humans creeped out by a cemetery might feel they were being watched. No, something living was hiding in that cemetery, he could feel it reaching out from amongst the dust and bones. Almost like it was calling to him and him specifically....

“Since when has anything good ever been found lurking in the cemetery?,” he muttered to himself. “Since when has that ever stopped you, though?”

“Huh?” Rose said, tilting her head up to look at him. They were still standing in the road, wrapped up in each other. Gently, he broke the embrace and took her hand instead.

“Allons-y, Rose. That cemetery over there is super spooky and just begging to be explored.”


	7. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose explore the cemetery, and what they find shocks them.

“Doctor, really...why? This is creepy. It's too quiet here right now. It's actually...” Rose stopped, poised and waiting next to a tall monument. She was listening, but there was nothing to hear.

“...completely silent,” the Doctor finished, gripping Rose's hand tighter. It was wrong. There were no birds, no insects, no sound of wind. In his head, he heard the cloister bell of the TARDIS. Danger, Doctor. Proceed with caution. Yes, this situation felt dangerous. The silence felt overwhelming.

Rose cocked her head at him. “Do you hear that, Doctor? The bells? It sounds so familiar....”

The Doctor jerked back, startled. He stared at Rose, wide eyed and surprised. “You heard it too? I thought it was just something I heard in my mind, my own sort of warning signal.”

“No, I definitely heard it. The bells. They're warning bells....aren't they?”

“The TARDIS cloister bells. Yes, a warning. Usually. If we were onboard the TARDIS, in the Time Vortex, the cloister bells would be a warning. But right now, we're on the ground, on a specific timeline. And those cloister bells? Well, that's a signal. A come find me signal, Rose. Somewhere near by, there's an abandoned TARDIS recognizing a Time Lord presence and calling out to it. It's putting a damper on all the natural sounds so I can hone in on the signal and follow it! It's almost like it wants to be found. Rose, that's exactly how I found my TARDIS in the other universe, on my Gallifrey!” the Doctor shouted exuberantly. He grabbed Rose by the shoulders and kissed her so forcefully it literally took her breath away. She leaned into his arms, rested her head on his shoulder. Tears cut their way down her cheek.

“Doctor, it's calling out to you. Even this universe needs its Doctor,” Rose whispered, staring at him with new eyes. In that moment, she saw him as her Doctor, the Time Lord, one heart be damned. Just like this universe and earth both had a Pete, couldn't those universes both have a Doctor? And by virtue, this Doctor here with Rose was in fact HER Doctor, really and truly. And soon enough, her husband. The gravity of it hit her hard. She clung hard to his hand, unable to let go. She was simultaneously thrilled and terified. A TARDIS! But...a TARDIS. Traveling again meant the possibiility of very real dangers and possible future seperartions. The thought of losing him again, now, after all this...No. She couldn't even stop to think about it, because there was no universe where such sorrow could exist and she'd still be living in it. A true existential crisis. Go to the TARDIS, and face the uncertain possibilities. Stay, and live a somewhat safer but decidedly more mundane life. Well, less mundane with the whole being on the run bit, but even that couldn't last forever and in the end the Doctor was much more clever than anyone at Torchwood could ever hope to be. Still, a TARDIS would make running away that much easier...

Well, there really was no choice, was there? The Doctor was staring at her with such intensity that she could tell he was seeing all this in her face, possibly even reading her mind directly. With sure authority, she took his hand. “Lead the way, Doctor.”

A sunny grin broke out on his face. Oh, but he loved this woman! She totally got him. It felt so real, so familiar. Not deja vu, but two time travellers dusting off their sonics and getting back to the business they were always meant to. Across all universes and all times, Rose and the Doctor, like they were meant to be. His heart leapt at the prospect. All the pieces were falling into place.

He took out his sonic screwdriver and set it to track the TARDIS signal. He was only half surprised when it lead him to the mausoleum with the weeping statue on top of it.

“Well, I'll be a son of a renegade Time Lord,” he said with wonder. Gently, he laid his hands on the stone facade and felt it humming at his touch. “Oh you sexy, sexy thing...,” he said, caressing the stone. When Rose rolled her eyes at him, he could only smile sheepishly. “Oh you sexy, sexy things. That better?”

Suddenly though, he drew back. “No, this is weird. This is really, really weird Maybe some of those bells were in my mind....what if this is a trap? Oh Rose...it might be a trap. Isn't it just too perfect? We just happened to end up in this particular part of Scotland, and there just happens to be an abandoned TARDIS, and it just happens to have a statue resembling one of my known enemies? No...something else is going on here...”

“Blimey, it almost feels like Bad Wolf all over again, doesn't it? It's like it's a message meant for you. Or maybe any Time Lord that just happened to be passing through the neighborhood. Unllikely, but you never know.” Rose remarked. “Well...I guess that's it then. We've got to find a way inside. That's what you would do, isn't it? Curiosity killed the cat, but not the Time Lord. Except this time, you're like the cat. Doctor, I'm afraid.”

“I'm afraid, too,” he confessed. “But you're right... I have to know. Rose, it's Gallifreyan technology. The fact that it's here in this universe...the implications are tremendous. In this universe, Gallifrey could still exist. That's assuming it's a real TARDIS and not some sort of trap. Could still be both a real TARDIS and a trap. But you're right-we've got to find a way in. The suspense is killing me!”

The Doctor rapped his knuckles at the base of the stone door. A small compartment popped open, inside of which was tucked a tiny scarlet bag with a golden drawstring. When he pulled the cord, it was unmistakably a TARDIS key that came tumbling out. Lacking a respiratory bypass system, the Doctor felt his breath catch in his throat. Scarlet and gold, the colors of the Prydonian Chapter of the Time Lord Academy. His chapter, the Master's chapter, Rassilon's chapter. Now more than ever, he felt alarmed and strangely elated. 

“Doctor, you're crying. Doctor, what is it?” Rose asked urgently, shaking his shoulder gently as she did to punctuate the request.

“It's a TARDIS key, Rose,” he whispered softly, turning the object over in his hands and examining it, still refusing to believe it could be real. Still in the ceremonial bag made from from the same cloth as Rassilon's infamous sash, it was custom to receive one of these bags with your first TARDIS key as a gift when graduating from the Prydonian Chapter of the Academy. This TARDIS belonged to either a very brand new or very sentimental Time Lord. Maybe. Hard telling how long it'd been there. But the TARDIS was calling out for attention, needing contact with another telepathic being. It wasn't words, so much as feelings. The communication between the Doctor and the TARDIS was totally emotional. The TARDIS was lonely. It had been too long. It wanted to travel.

“Alright baby, I'm comig in!” the Doctor said, stabbing the key into the lock. There was a long moment of anticipation as the Doctor turned the key, and they both breathed a sigh of relief when they heard it click into place. Rose placed her own hand around the Doctor's as it gripped the key in the door. She nodded at him, and together they pushed open the doors of the TARDIS. 

It was dark-only the auxillary lights were on. The interior looked surprisingly similar to his own TARDIS, but was slightly bigger and in tones of blue and purple. The relaxation theme. He'd never bothered to switch the theme after he'd commandeered his ship originally. This was so comfortingly familiar, though. Again, he wondered if this was a trap. Was it intended to disarm him with it's similarities? Or was he just being arrogant, supposing that the Doctor had significance on this universe's version of Gallifrey, if such a place even existed?

All those thoughts fled when he laid his hands on the control panel. A Type 40, sexy as all hell TARDIS. Not completely powered down, but in hibernation mode. With the touch of a few buttons, it would be powering up and charging the system, now having a source of psychic energy to help aid the charging process. It could be ready for travel in less than a day's time. The downside though was that he would be unable to leave the ship while it was charging up from this state. Poor Jayne would probably wonder what the hell happened to them, perhaps even be worried...

Back at the house, Jayne woke with a start from a dream. She'd been reading a book and napping, and must have dozed off.. Her recollections of the dream were hazy-a woman, red haired and beautiful, so familiar...and naked. She was flushed and sweating, and apparently incredibly aroused, she noticed with confusion and embarassment. A woman her age having naughty dreams! She felt a bit like a teenage boy. When she leaned over to grab her water glass, she noticed the light coming from the drawer in her bedside table.

“...the hell?” Jayne said, peering into the drawer. Her grandfather's weird old pocket watch was glowing. When she touched it, she swore she heard voices. She shuddered, and withdrew her hand. What the fuck was she doing? Glowing pocket watches weren't exactly a known natural phenomena. Leibniz's theory on Monads hadn't exactly covered stuff like this...

Jayne screamed, as the voices went from a dull whisper to a roaring crowd in her head. It seemed she was being urged to open the watch. Open the watch, open the watch, open the watch...it was a chant in her head.

“But I'm afraid...”she said out loud, to no one in particualr. She held the watch in the palm of her hand, contemplating. It was only when the roar in her head became unbearably painful did she overcome her fear and flip open the watch. The voices rose around her in a chorus. 

She remembered.

She was the first female to graduate from the Prydonian Chapter, an acheivement that had earned her the right to her own title, which she hadn't yet chosen and perhaps never would. Many had gone before her, but none had been able to endure the particularly rigurous training required by their Academy. She had stared into the Untempered Schism and come out on the other side, tantalized by what she had seen and craving more. She was an incredible specimen, they said. An extraordinary Time Lady, vanquished by so quaint a human emotion as love. It didn't seem so incredible now, but looking back she knew every moment had been worth it, even knowing it ended in loss. Her grief after Trista's death had been so intense, she couldn't bear to leave her body. It was only with reluctance that she had returned so her family could bury her. And then she'd parked her TARDIS next to the grave and had mourned, the pain so intense she swore both her hearts were breaking. And then, one tear soaked night she'd taken the Chameleon Arch in desperation, and all had been forgotten. But now...

Right. All that was exactly why she had Chameleon Arched herself in the first place. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. “Why? Why did you bring me back?” she whispered furiously, shaking the watch as though it would provide an answer. But she answered her own question. There was only one reason for it, an emergency protocol she'd never figured there would be cause to have activated. Someone had found the TARDIS, and even more unthinkably, had entered it. It had triggered an alarm that she'd still managed to hear, at least on some level. Something she'd heard as Jayne Miller though stuck in her mind, just one whispered word. Rose Tyler to John Smith, when she thought no one else was listening. She had called him Doctor. Which he was of course, having a PhD. Still, it seemed like a strange way to refer to your boyfriend, by a title rather than a more familiar name.

Could it be? She'd heard the legends and stories, and had dismissed them as impossible. But there was no time to dwell on that now. She quickly slid into her jeans, threw on a bath robe and located her hard-soled slippers. No time to get fancy. She grabbed her keys and a made a mad dash for the car. The cemetery wasn't far, and she was determined to catch the intruders in the act.


	8. Journey's Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected enemy takes the Doctor by surprise.

Rose and the Doctor were sprawled in soft red grass in what speared to be a garden room. Once they were inside and the TARDIS systems were rebooting and recharging, they had wasted no time setting about to explore the ship, which was not all that different from the Doctor's own while still being unique. It was quiet in this room, and the ceiling gave the peaceful illusion of looking out at the Gallifreyan night sky. Rose rolled onto her side and scooted closer to him, nestling herself against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. He made no motion to protest, only drew his arms tighter around her, almost as though he were afraid she might slip away like she had when they'd opened the void.

“This is what it looked like, laying out in my mother's garden and looking up at the night sky in Gallifrey. I know this is just a simulation, but it's still sort of weird seeing it after so much time...” he said softly, a trace of nostalgia in his voice. Suddenly, an image of Gallifrey hanging over Earth popped into his head. Just as quickly as it had come, the image vanished. He frowned, shaking his head. It was like something out of a dream that he couldn't quite remember, and it left him feeling unsettled.

“I can't imagine. I would say I miss Earth, my Earth, but I don't anymore. Not really, anyway. Things here aren't all that different than they were in our universe. Of course in the beginning, it was different. I hated it, but I think that was just missing you and missing traveling more than anything. Nothing was ever going to compare to the Doctor and Rose in the TARDIS. And well...here we are, I suppose,” Rose mused, running her fingers through the grass. “It does feel a bit weird, though. And I'm sure you are literally going mad, trying to figure out who this TARDIS belongs to and where it came from.”

He felt a tiny flush of pleasure when she mentioned missing him, not the Doctor. It really was stupid, but whenever she referred to “the other Doctor” or “the real Doctor”, it put barbs in his one solitary heart. This was precisely what he hated about being human-it seemed his one heart was determined to do enough feeling for two, and the sort of off-handed comments that never would've bothered his Time Lord self now made his human ego bristle. As far as he was concerned, he was THE Doctor. Hearing Rose refer to him that way felt right, as though pieces were falling into positions they'd always been meant to take.

“Oh, I reckon I was already mad, Rose. A mad man with a blue box, at least in another life. And now maybe this one, too...,” he mused, getting to his feet and pulling her up along with him. “Well, I reckon we've got a whole wonderful TARDIS to explore,” he said, wiggling his fingers at Rose. Some things would never change.

She smiled and took his hand. “Allons-y!” they proclaimed in unison, laughing gleefully.

The two of them stepped out of the garden room and into a corridor of almost infinite possibilities. In what could've been the span of hours or minutes they discovered kitchens, libraries, bedrooms, gardens, and something that looked not quite like a cricket pitch, amongst other rooms. He felt the most at home he'd felt in ages, and yet everything here was brand new to him. It was a weird, wonderful feeling, and in a rare moment of pure human emotion he found he was infinitely glad that he wasn't seeing it alone, that Rose was here to hold his hand through all of it. Both of them were so giddy with elation by the time they wove their way back to the console room that neither of them noticed the cracked open door or the figure lurking just outside of it.

“So, how much longer until the TARDIS is ready to go, d'you think?” Rose asked, leaning against the console next to him. He twirled a few buttons and flipped a few levers before tilting the console screen to where they could both see it. Numbers ticked away in a pattern that was meaningless to Rose, but told the Doctor that the TARDIS would be ready to go much sooner than expected. Almost as though it were drawing power from another, unseen source. He frowned at this unexpected stroke of good luck, precisely because it was unexpected.

“Well aren't we clever. Busted into my TARDIS, and you've already started to power it up, like you know EXACTLY what you're doing. Uncanny, really. But I have to say, if you wanted to borrow the car, you could've just asked,” Jayne said, stepping out of the shadows. Startled, Rose and the Doctor both jumped back from the TARDIS console.

“...what?” was all the Doctor could manage to squeak out. Rose raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief.

“Yes, my TARDIS,” Jayne replied, striding up to the console. She spread her palms flat against it, reacquainting herself with it. “A bit of a cosmic slut she is apparently, opening up for just anyone. But you aren't just anyone are you, John Smith? Or should I say...Doctor?”

“...what?” he stuttered again, still stunned by the revelation. Jayne narrowed her eyes at him.

“Oh, right. Yeah sorry, my name isn't really Jayne, I'm not really a professor or American or even human, really. This is my spaceship, it's bigger on the inside. Isn't it lovely?”

Before the Doctor could respond with what Rose was certain would be another confused “what?”, she interjected. “So you're a Time Lord..err, Lady? I guess that makes sense, why he'd be drawn to you...”

But Jayne wasn't paying attention to Rose, and neither was the Doctor. They had locked eyes, and he could feel her scrabbling for his mind, searching for answers. Silently, they moved toward each other, stopping only when they were face to face and mere inches away from each other. Rose held her breath, watching and waiting. The Doctor took Jayne's face in his hands, and she pressed her forehead against his. It was only a moment, but something electric seemed to pass in between them. When they pulled back, each of them bore a curious, unreadable expression on their face. Jayne tilted her head at the Doctor, and reached up to wipe away the tears that were cutting tracks down his cheeks. He responded in kind, rubbing his thumb across her cheek to catch the tears as they fell. Unspoken words hung heavy in the air between them. 

“Your mind is strange. You have the memories of a Time Lord, but the biology of a human. And the things you've seen...the destruction of Gallifrey. Impossible! Not of this universe, anyway. What are you? Who are you?” Jayne implored, searching his eyes with her own.

“I'm the Doctor,” he responded, almost as a reflex, confirming the truth as much for himself as for her.

“Yes, I got that, but Doctor who? Who and what are you?” she asked, frustration creeping into her voice.

“I'm a human-Time Lord Meta Crisis, from another human and another Time Lord in another universe. That's the simple answer. The complicated answer is...well, it's quite a bit more complicated than that,” he said, scratching his head and laughing nervously. It was only then he noticed that Rose had disappeared from the console room.

“Impossible,” Jayne replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Not impossible, just improbable. You've seen inside my mind, you know I couldn't dream up something that mad. But enough about me...I saw into your mind too, and I think there some stuff in there warranting discussion, along with my own past. That's going to have to wait though, because I seem to have lost my Rose...” he said, letting his vision trail to the half-open door of the TARDIS.

“Hmm. Guess the adults talking must have upset her. I'm sure she's fine,” Jayne said, flapping her hand dismissively.

“Right. Well, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll check for myself,” he said, darting out the door of the TARDIS. Outside, the cemetery was dark. Had he and Rose really been wandering around inside for that long? But of course he knew they had, all he had to do was think about how much time had passed and the answer was plain and clear. He was still half Time Lord, after all. “Rose! Rose, where are you?”

He turned in circles, his panic mounting. It had only been moments that he'd taken his attention off of her, how could she have disappeared so quickly? When his sight landed back on the TARDIS, he felt the icy grip of fear clutching at his heart. 

The weeping statue that had earlier decorated the roof was gone.

* * * * *

Rose was in one of what was apparently many kitchens, putting the kettle on. Though she couldn't understand what had passed between the Doctor and Jayne, she understood the significance of discovering another Time Lord in the last place you expected to find one. Naturally, she was also suspicious. What were the odds? None the less she figured they had a lot to talk about, telepathically or otherwise. So she had slipped away, not wanting to spoil the moment, though part of her was secretly more conflicted than she wanted to admit. Seeing the Doctor and Jayne touch each other like that had made her feel very much like an outsider, which she was when it came down to it. She sighed, biting her lip and feeling guilty for ever doubting the Doctor's loyalties. Who could blame the poor guy for wanting to connect with what might be possibly the only other living creature like himself?

Oblivious to the chaos her absence had ignited, Rose sipped her tea, some fruity infusion from a planet she'd never heard of. The box had been a particularly appealing shade of blue, though now that she was drinking it she thought it tasted quite a bit more like it ought to be purple. Vaguely, it occurred to her that she still hadn't phoned her mum or Pete. Maybe with luck they could just nip back over that way and tell them in person. If this all worked out, that was. She thought it would work out, though. Maybe they could all travel together. Maybe things would be alright.

Shaking her head, she loaded the kettle and some mugs onto a tray and started winding her way back to the console room. When after five minutes of walking she ended up back at the kitchen again, she started thinking that perhaps something weird was going on. It was almost like the TARDIS was trying to keep her from getting back to the console room...

Ridiculous! It was a strange ship, she probably had just taken a wrong turn. She went left this time instead of right, and still found herself back at the kitchen. That was when she started crafting scenarios in her head, of the Doctor and Jayne getting cozy in the console room, the TARDIS conspiring to keep the secret. She was positive now that the ship was actively trying to prevent her from going back. But why?

Oblivious to the chaos unfolding elsewhere, Rose paced, her stomach in knots for all the wrong reasons.

* * * * *

In the cemetery, a still frantic Doctor was scanning for signs of either Rose or the weeping statue, which he now knew had to be a Weeping Angel. And an extraordinarily clever and patient one, apparently. Jayne was bobbing around behind him, trying not to trip over head stones in the dark. He reached into his trousers and pulled out the sonic screwdriver to light the path.

“Listen, I don't know why you can't see her, but Rose is fine. I can feel her mind, she's not far. Is that...a sonic screw driver? Never mind, come back to the TARDIS. She's there, she's fine...although I think she thinks you and I are...you know what? I'm just going to stop talking,” Jayne said quickly, seeing the look on his face. She followed his gaze back to the TARDIS. Blocking the doorway was the statue, its hands covering its face.

“Whatever you do..don't blink. It wants you Jayne, or the TARDIS, I'd almost guarantee it. Rose and I are just average humans with average human energy outputs, by their standards. But you? A freshly-minted Time Lady and her TARDIS...they could feed off the energy indefinitely. Whatever you do, don't blink.”

“Well for the love of Rassilon, what the hell am I supposed to do? Wait for it to come get me, like a bogey monster? They told us of the Weeping Angels at the Time Academy, but no one had ever actually seen one so we all thought it was a myth! What do I do?”

“Nothing, I'll think of something. Just hope that it's alone, that it's the only one. It can only move when you aren't looking. And of course it's dark out, so if there are more we probably won't see them coming. Well...this is bad. Not yet sure how bad, but certainly not in the least bit good. If we can figure out a way to freeze it while it's quantum-locked, we might be okay. But how? Think, think, think!”

“Doctor?”

“Not right now, I'm trying to think! Just keep looking at it, one of us has to keep looking at it!”

“Doctor?”

“I know you're scared, I am too, but please just focus!”

Sighing, Jayne reached into the pocket of her bath robe and produced a long-handled mirror, which she held up in front of her face. In her head, she heard a telepathic shriek of anger and defeat, and she cringed, for she was not the type to take pleasure in destroying another creature, evil though it may be. After all, it was just trying to survive, the same as anything else in the universe. Shame that it had to feed in the manner that it did, though. She let the hand holding the mirror fall to her side, and she cast a look at the Doctor, who was staring at her with slack-jawed amazement.

“Ooookay then. Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here and request that you give me a little credit. I may be 'freshly-minted' as you put it, but I'm still over two hundred years old and I'm a goddamn Time Lady-the first from the Prydonian Academy, actually. And while you were thinking, I was thinking even faster, about Medusa the Gorgon and how that which has the image of an angel becomes an angel. So, mirrors. Angel vanquished. I'm pretty clever, aren't I? So the next time I try to tell you something, how about you try to listen?” she huffed, stomping back towards the TARDIS. When she reached the stone statue, she pushed her shoulder against it and heaved it to the ground. “Well? Are you coming or not? I smell tea, and I could use the tannins.”

For once at a loss for words, the Doctor could only toddle after her.


	9. Three's A Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions run high and arguments abound.

“Jayne, that was brilliant! It shouldn't have worked, but somehow it did. Maybe it was weak or sick... That thing must have been waiting for you! I wonder for how long, though? Also, remind me to pick up a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Seems like they would be a good thing to have, moving forward.... Still, I've never encountered a Weeping Angel by itself, there may be others. We should probably get out of here, sooner rather than later...” the Doctor babbled animatedly, oblivious to the cross expression on Jayne's face. This time, he was careful to shut the TARDIS door behind him, before coming to stand next to her at the console.

“We should get out of here? That's a tad bit presumptive, don't you think? Why would I want to take along the two people who broke into my TARDIS and fucked up my shit? Do you know how long I've been living as a human? Fifteen years! There was a reason for it, too, and now that I'm awake those wounds are feeling particularly fresh. And I'm only awake because you broke into my TARDIS. I'm not sure I'm really up for company right now, certainly not from you two,” she muttered, clambering underneath the console and tinkering with something. 

The Doctor's face fell. That Jayne wouldn't want him and Rose to tag along was a thought that had never even crossed his mind. He thought she'd seemed as excited by this meeting as he had, but maybe not. And curiously, he realized she had referred to him as Doctor before the moment where their minds had brushed against one another. Each of them had revealed only a peek, although he had sensed that Jayne was deliberately concealing something specific from him. Of course, he desperately wanted to know what it was. As Rose had said earlier, curiosity killed the cat and there was plenty here to be curious about. Not so much on the killing of said cat, but how could they leave now, when the possibilities were so open and endless?

“I didn't break into your TARDIS. Honestly, if you were planning on leaving it here for the long term, you could've hidden the key in a less obvious spot. The TARDIS was calling to me, Jayne. It was lonely. I was curious. I didn't think Time Lords existed here. You wouldn't have done the same? And really, you can't tell me that you aren't the slightest bit curious yourself. After all, it was a rather odd twist of circumstances and coincidences that lead us here, which makes me think that perhaps it wasn't coincidence at all,” he mused, jamming his hands into his pockets.

“Of course it wasn't coincidence. And my name isn't Jayne. But that's neither here nor there. I can sense that you're pouting-stop it. Go find Rose, and bring tea with you when you come back, please,” came the strained response.

“Does that mean you'll let us stay?” he asked her hopefully.

“Go!” she shouted, sticking one of her hands out just far enough to make an extremely rude intergalactic hand motion at him.

He didn't need to be told twice. When he approached the door that lead to the rest of the TARDIS, it opened for him without issue, and he strolled down the hallway toward the scent of freshly brewed tea. He discovered Rose in one of the kitchens, staring off into nothing and absentmindedly tracing patterns in a pile of sugar with her fingers. When he walked into the room, she snapped her head up with a start.

“Blimey, you startled me! So...you and Jayne done talking or telepathing or whatever the heck it was you two were up to mashing your foreheads together?” Rose asked, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably at it.  
“Oh, we were doing quite a bit more than talking,” he said with a grim chuckle. Seeing the look on Rose's face, he cleared his voice and clarified. “Remember the Weeping Angels? I think I told you about them before. Anyway, yeah, funny story is that statue on top of the TARDIS turned out to be one. Thought that was a little too weird to just be a coincidence. It was either very patiently or very stupidly waiting for Jayne to return, most likely. Anyway, Jayne busted out a hand mirror and froze it in its stone state! Pretty brilliant, although I don't know if it would've worked on a well-fed, fully functioning Angel... Oh yes, tea! Definitely time for tea, nothing like a good cuppa after vanquishing a stone psychopath.”

“S'cold,” Rose replied dully, still making patterns in the sugar. Her expression hinted that she wasn't entirely satisfied with his explanation of the events that had unfolded in her absence.

“So we'll reheat it. Or we'll make some more! Got to love these hermetically sealed tea tins, keeps it fresh indefinitely,” he said with a forced cheerfulness as he rifled through the cabinets. Now his stomach was in knots. Rose was upset and doubting him, and Jayne was...well, exactly. He wasn't sure what to do with the mercurial Time Lady, but he couldn't get a good read on her. He thought it was just as likely at this point that she would decide to kick them out and go on her way as it was that she would allow them to go on with her. He realized he was desperately hoping for the latter, in spite of his misgivings. “Oooo, here's one I haven't had in a while, white tea from the mountains of Barcelona!”

While he flitted about the kitchen, he tried engaging Rose in conversation, with limited success. If she had been bothered by the human version of Jayne, the knowledge that she was actually a Time Lady had probably done little to temper what he sensed was jealousy and fear on Rose's part. It stung that even now she didn't completely trust him, although he certainly understood her trepidation. He didn't suppose incidences like Lynda or Madame du Pompadour were so easily forgotten on her part...

“Doctor?”she asked, finally breaking her silence.

“Mmmph?” he replied through a mouthful of one of the biscuits he'd found, lurking in a package on the bottom shelf.

“If you had to chose one or the other, which would it be?” she asked softly, not meeting his eyes. The question was non-specific, but the meaning was implicit in her tone and body language.

“Are you asking me whether I'd rather travel with Jayne or stay here with you?” he asked, swallowing hard. These were the sorts of questions that always seemed to get him into trouble. He understood that the human male convention when confronted with these types of questions was to provide whichever answer was most likely to placate the questioner. Still, he found it hard sometimes to figure out which sorts of answers were acceptable, however irrational they might be. He sought confirmation of his question from Rose, but she only tilted her head at him, her expression unreadable.

“Listen,” he said gently, taking her by the shoulders. “I promised you I'd grow old with you.”

“Yes, you promised. But did you promise because you wanted to, or because HE made you? Or because you didn't think something better would actually come along? I know you, how your mind works. If there's still a Gallifrey out there, they could maybe fix you. Make you a real Time Lord again. I know you hate being human. And I know that Rose Tyler, the human, could spend her whole life with the Doctor, the Time Lord. But he could never spend his whole life with me, not like 'John Smith' can...” she whispered, wiping furiously at the tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

The Doctor could only stare at her, flabbergasted. Of course, some of those things had actually crossed his mind, albeit briefly amongst the confusion and excitement of everything else going on. But the thought of leaving Rose behind or loving her any less than he did now was incomprehensible.

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We haven't even left the cemetery, let alone established what's going to happen beyond the next ten minutes. Please, I love you. Let's go have some tea, talk with Jayne, figure out what we're going to do.”

“You still haven't answered me. Cor, that's so typical Doctor! Are you sure you aren't channeling the other Doctor, with the 'does it even need saying' claptrap? If I ask a question, it's because I want an answer! Why can't you ever just be straight with me?” she cried, slamming her hand down on the counter top. 

He found himself surprisingly irritated by the outburst. How long was she going to punish him like this? It seemed like she couldn't make up her mind who she loved, him standing here or the ideal of the other Doctor, wherever he was. And though he constantly put his heart on his sleeve for her, it never seemed to be good enough. Silent and brooding, he finished loading up the tea tray and made his way to the kitchen door.

“You're walking away?” she asked, incredulous.

“Yes, I'm walking away. I don't have the patience for this right now. How many times do I have to prove to you that I love you, that you're my world, that you always were? I chose you, Rose Tyler! Don't you get that? Yeah, I guess I'm not technically a 'real' Time Lord, as you put it, but I have a Time Lord's mind and knowledge and experience. I could go anywhere, do anything. I could travel the world, on my own or with someone else. I could've left you, and I didn't, because the idea honestly never even crossed my mind until we started fighting over it just now!

Please, for just a moment, try to imagine how I feel. I've been neutered by this human body, for all intents and purposes. I'm learning how to exist all over again. And then all of a sudden, another Time Lord, in the flesh. With a TARDIS! Everything I am, everything my people were, my family, even my own identity...I thought that was gone forever. I know it might be hard, because it's way over the average human mind, but try to comprehend how I might be feeling right now. I can't believe I'm about to say this Rose...but the world doesn't revolve around you. I have feelings too, you know. Probably more so than even before, because I'm mostly human. This doesn't have to just be about you or me, it could be about us, if you'd stop acting like a spoiled, selfish, petulant adolescent girl for just a minute. And let's be real here..for once, it could be about me. About how things make me feel. You're not the only one here with a heart that can be broken!” he spat fervently, his heart racing.

Rose could only gape at him. He gave her a curt nod and turned on his heel to head back to the console room. He didn't bother to look and see if she was following him, although he was admittedly wildly curious. It had been a while since he'd gotten this angry. Luckily, the only thing he had immediately available to destroy were some biscuits and mismatched china. Blood and anger and revenge. He heard those words in his head, in his own voice, and the only thing he could do was curse it. He was furious, and found that there was nowhere to direct that anger. He couldn't be angry at the other Doctor for leaving him behind-they were the same, when it came down to it. If the situation had been reversed, he would've made the same call. The only person he could be angry at really was himself. He tried to be angry at Rose, for being human, but he couldn't. It wasn't her fault. He didn't always make it easy for her to know what he was thinking. He felt a slight, gnawing remorse at the way he had spoken to her, but his pride would not let him turn around and apologize. Probably best that they both had a moment to cool off, anyway. It wasn't like she could leave the TARDIS without him or Jayne noticing, either.

He arrived back at the console room and slammed the tea tray down, making the mugs jingle and click against each other. Jayne was reading something on the secondary console screen when he entered, although she hastily swiveled the monitor and shut it off when he approached her.

“You look like you've just had it. Everything alright?”

“Come off it Jayne, you know it's not,” he retorted, stirring his tea vigorously.

“Hey, just because I can go poking around people's thoughts doesn't mean I do. I just figured you two must've rowed, since you can back alone and red faced,” she replied coolly, sipping her tea.

“We did, if you must know. And no, I'd rather not talk about it. Listen, are we going with you or not? Because if not, I'd much prefer to skip the pleasantries and get on with the rest of my short, painfully human life,” he said, punctuating the sentence with his steely gaze.

“I wish it were that simple. I have to go home, and no, you can't come there with me. It's not the right time,” she said, shrugging indifferently.

“So Gallifrey still exists, here in this universe?”

“Yes.”

“And you won't take us there with you?”

“No, I can't. I'm sorry. Really, I am,” she said, reaching out to touch his arm, which he jerked away from her with a wounded look.

“Well admittedly, that was not the answer I was expecting or hoping for. I wonder if this is how Lady Christina felt when I told her she couldn't come?” he wondered out loud. He shook his head, which felt funny. Who was Lady Christina, and why had her name just popped into his mind? This day couldn't shape up to be much stranger, he decided. “Well, rightie-o then, I'll just grab Rose and we'll be out of your hair and TARDIS forever. Thanks for the tea and biscuits and emotional trauma.”

“Oh good golly jammy dodgers, would you calm your rogue ass down? I said you couldn't come home with me. That doesn't mean we can't travel at all. You suck at this whole telepathy thing, by the way. Not your fault, I guess, I clearly have the advantage here. I'm not completely heartless, I wasn't going to leave you to be chased down by Torchwood,” Jayne said, an amused look on her face.

“Are you bipolar? You're all mixed signals, I don't want company one minute and yeah let's go the next. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!”

“Alright, alright. Fine then Doctor, let's go. Hold on tight!” she said, pulling down on one of the console levers. The TARDIS shook and clanged unhappily in response.

“Are you mad? It hasn't finished charging, it's not ready yet! We could fall out of the time vortex!” he shouted, grabbing the jump seat for purchase.

“I'll be the judge of that!” Jayne laughed, rushing to the other side of the console to where the main controls were.

“How come it's not making the noise? Are you sure we're actually going somewhere and not just angrying her up?” he asked, crossing his arms across his chest skeptically.

“What noise?” Jayne responded, bustling past him and reaching over him to punch several blue buttons.

“You know, the wheezy, whirring noise,” he said, attempting to imitate. When he saw Jayne looking at him as though he'd sprouted a second head, he stopped.

“Yeah, it's not supposed to do that. It only does that if your Chameleon Circuit's broken, or you left the emergency brake on. Are you sure you were really a Time Lord before you were a Meta...whatever made up term you used to describe yourself?”

“Oh, bugger off!”

“Too late for that now, Doctor. We're in space!”


	10. That Damned Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor, Rose and Jayne land somewhere both familiar and unexpected. Could it be a coincidence, or did something else draw them there?

Rose had swallowed her pride and and decided to find the Doctor to apologize when the TARDIS shook itself back to life, sending her tumbling down the hallway and into the control room. A manic-eyed Doctor was rounding on Jayne, who was flipping switches and laughing ecstatically.

“You're insane, woman! Please, land the bloody TARDIS before it crashes!”the Doctor said, punctuating his request with a thump of his fist on the console.

“Oh, relax, I'm perfectly in control. Besides, if we didn't have enough juice to go, we wouldn't have been able to lift off anyway. My TARDIS, my rules. Quit it with the backseat driving!” Jayne admonished in a tone so fierce, even the Doctor dropped his gaze.

“Um, I hate to interrupt...but where exactly are we going?” Rose asked, pulling herself up from the floor and coming to stand next to the Doctor.

“No idea! Wonderful, isn't it? I just set the controls to random. Discovered some of my favorite vacation destinations that way. Did you know there's actually a planet that's made entirely of green cheese in the Estrella Galaxy? Well, that wasn't one of my favorites, actually. Stunk to the high heavens...” Jayne replied, with a look that suggested she could still remember just how much the planet in questioned smelled.

“...she's a bit mad, isn't she?” Rose remarked quietly to the Doctor. “Kind of reminds me of...”

“Don't you dare. I might be a bit strange, but I don't sound like that. Do I?” he whispered back self-consciously. Rose just rolled her eyes at him.

“Care to share with the class?” Jayne asked, propping herself up on her elbows next to them. It was a rhetorical question, of course, as she could both hear them talking and intuit the rest.

“Oh, nothing. I was just commenting to the Doctor how much alike you two seem. But maybe that's just the whole Time Lord thing. Who knows?” Rose smiled with a shrug.

“Hmm,” Jayne grunted, tilting her eyebrows up as though in contemplation. She pulled a few more levers and punched some buttons before turning to face her two companions. “Well?”

“Well what?” the Doctor replied, sounding a bit put out and grumpy.

“We're here! Wherever here is, anyway. Shall we take a look outside, kiddos?”

“Oi! I know this body is young, but my conscience is well over nine hundred years old. Who you calling 'kiddo?” he groused, although he followed after Jayne and Rose as they strode toward the TARDIS's door. When they reached it, Rose shot a momentarily glance his way and reached out for his hand. He could sense her nervousness as much as feel it himself. Their first adventure in months. What wonders and dangers might lie outside that door?

Before he had time to think on the possibilities, Jayne had flung the door open and stepped outside.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Rose said, disbelief coloring her voice.

The Doctor stepped outside to survey a landscape that was both shocking and eerily familiar. Of all the places to end up on a first go...here? Again. Really?

“Dårlig Ulv Stranden,” he heard himself say out loud, his voice echoing Rose's own disbelief.

“I take it you've both been here before?” Jayne asked, bending over to examine a rock sticking out of the sand.

“Yeah, we've been here before...” Rose and the Doctor both replied in soft unison, exchanging uncomfortable glances. Was this place like a magnet? It couldn't be mere coincidence...could it?

“Ah, but have you been here in the year 1905? We could go watch Norway tell Sweden they'd had it. Admittedly, that doesn't sound half as exciting out loud as it did in my mind... But hey, there might be biscuits!”Jayne exclaimed, clapping her hands together with feigned enthusiasm.

“Can we just go? This place is full of bad memories and separation anxiety, for both of us. This is the place where we lost each other, and where he left us. I don't want to be here, not really. Rose?” the Doctor asked, already knowing the answer.

“Well now hold on,” Jayne interjected, not waiting for Rose to answer. “I think you and I already agreed Doctor, there's no such thing as coincidence, not when it comes to Time Lords and TARDISes. We've obviously landed here for a reason, and I think I might know what it is.”

“Really now? Well, I'm all ears to hear why you think the TARDIS brought us here, if not to torture us,” Rose said, unable to mask the bitterness creeping into her voice.  
“Hush now, the adults are talking,” Jayne replied shortly, clapping a hand over her mouth as she did. “Sorry, was I being rude again? Can't seem to help it sometime. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me...”

“You were saying?” the Doctor interrupted, attempting to guide the conversation back on track before a cat fight erupted between Jayne and a rather petulant looking Rose.

“Oh, right. Yes well anyway, as I was saying, not a coincidence. But it is the perfect environment to hide and grow a little piece of coral. A piece of coral that might just be a fully grown by the time you come back for it,” Jayne said with a smile.

“Won't that create a paradox? If we leave the coral here now, how will he be able to give it to himself later?” Rose asked, arms crossed over her chest.

“Ah, you are a time traveler, aren't you little Rose? If you leave this piece here now, he won't have it to give you in the future...” Jayne said, tapping her finger thoughtfully against her chin.

“It shouldn't matter. Time isn't a line, we all know that. Leaving the coral here now won't change that event of the future. It was a fixed point in time, and we've already lived it. We were going to be left behind on this damned beach, with or without that piece of coral. The real question is why you think I'd leave my TARDIS coral unattended for a hundred years, when anyone or anything could come along and fool with it, or worse,” the Doctor said, crossing his own arms.

“Or we could just leave a piece of my ship,” Jayne deadpanned. “No worries of a possible paradox, or anything. I'll have to go inside and saw a piece off, but I don't think she'll mind. It's not like a ship made of coral is in a short supply of it...”

“Yeah, but then it won't be my TARDIS coral. I want my new TARDIS to come from my old one...” he replied sheepishly.

“Hey guys?” Rose attempted to interrupt.

“Not now Rose, I'm trying to make a point. Really? Really, it won't be from your TARDIS? Do you want a damn time machine or not?” Jayne asked sourly.

“Of course I want a damn time machine, as you put it. But I want MY time machine. I've got several centuries of bonding put in with that one, why would I want to start all over with someone else's?” he replied, his voice raising several octaves.

“I'm just trying to help you! A little gratitude, maybe? Or maybe I should just leave you here to figure it out on your own?” Jayne suggested sarcastically.

“Guys?” Rose asked again, this time with more urgency.

“What?!” the two Time Lords replied, in a tone that would've made even Davros nervous. To her credit, Rose seemed unruffled by their response.

“Look...” she said, directing their attention to the face of a nearby cliff, where it looked like something enormous had split open the rock. That wasn't the troubling part, though. What was troubling was the light pouring out of the split in the rock.

“Oh. Well, that can't be good,” Jayne said matter of factly, hands squared on her hips.

“You think? What was your first clue?” the Doctor replied, an edge in his voice.

“Oh, would you two just cut it out? Whatever contest you think you're having, neither one of you is going to win it. But that? That looks like it needs investigating, wouldn't you say?” Rose asked hopefully.

“Yeah,” Jayne replied reluctantly. “Yeah, maybe that's why the TARDIS took us here. She seems to do that, I've noticed. I think she likes trouble, honestly. Maybe you don't want a piece of my ship after all, she's quite ornery now that I think about it...”

As the three of them watched the split, the light dancing out of it, the air seemed to change. It was heavy with the anticipation of what came next. No one seemed to want to take those first steps, though. They were all hesitant for their own reasons. Jayne had only been awake a short time. Rose and the Doctor, though, we're both having the same worries. His single heart, and his not quite human, not quite Time Lord self. Rose worried for the Doctor's safety. The Doctor worried that he wouldn't be anywhere near as useful as he'd been before. So they stood and watched and waited.

“I think we ought to leave, actually...” Jayne whispered, finally breaking the silence. “Doesn't it make you feel strange, just looking at it? It's not meant to be here, and neither are we, I don't think. Something isn't right...”

“What? Aren't you even the least bit curious, though?” the Doctor asked, incredulous.

“Curious? Of course. But cautious, too,” she replied, her face stony. 

The Doctor again sensed that Jayne could see something that neither him nor Rose could, and once again felt a flash of fury. She could see it because she was a full Time Lord. Once upon a time, he would've seen it, too. The longer time went on though, the harder it was to remember how terrible it had sometimes felt to see and know these things. Right now, he just felt helpless and angry. He wasn't used to being the side kick.

“Time to go, gang,” Jayne urged softly. “I'll take you somewhere else. But not here. Whatever this is, it isn't meant for us.”


	11. A Moment Missed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayne and Rose butt heads, and the Doctor bares his soul to Jayne. Will she bare her own in kind?

“You're just going to leave?” he asked incredulously to Jayne's retreating back.

“Sure appears that way,” Rose muttered, kicking sand over a pile of beach debris. “Maybe you two aren't so much a like after all...”

Jayne leaned against the doorway of the TARDIS and glanced back at them sourly. “Whatever. I don't interfere any more. All those riding the good ship TARDIS should be boarding now, departure is imminent.”

The Doctor snorted in disbelief. “You don't interfere any more? Since when do Prydonians give a fig about the policy of non-interference, or rules at all for that matter? That thing, that crack in the rock...well, it just begs interfering. It's bleeding temporal energy. That crack could lead to another universe!”

Jayne's mouth was set in a firm line, her face unyielding. “Since I lost everything playing by my own rules, that's when I decided maybe I should start following their rules. The Time Lords don't interfere, they observe. Leaving. Now.”

The TARDIS gave a soft warning whir, spurring Rose and the Doctor to scramble over the sand and back towards the ship, darting in the door right before it began to dematerialize. Jayne's face was closed as she operated the controls, something akin to anxiety flooding her eyes. Something else was going on, something that she was deliberately working to conceal. Half-human or not, the Doctor still had an incredible sense of intuition and his gut said Jayne knew or at least thought she knew something about that crack. Not to mention how jumpy she had been when he'd surprised her earlier, turning her screen off and away like a guilty teenage boy caught watching a skin flick. When he'd seen into her memories, bits and pieces had been vague and shadowy, as though she were trying to conceal them. Her real name was one of those shadowy bits, amongst other things. She could have all kinds of reasons for wanting to hide her true name and if anyone could understand that compulsion, it was him. Still, it made him nervous, all those unknown factors. For once, he wasn't the biggest enigma in the room...

He was shaken out of this thought by the sound of Rose's voice, elevated with the slight edge she often used when addressing someone she thought was being completely ridiculous.

“All those bloody Time Lord rules didn't save HIS civilization, not when it came down to it. But if that crack is something, something dangerous or weird or strange, we have a chance to save other people by going back to investigate it. You aren't even the least bit curious? Who knows what it is? Maybe it might even be something good, although it rarely is, but the thing is you don't know that until you look. Making we can investigate without interfering, know what I'm saying?”

“A compelling argument. But no. You know that investigation and interference might as well be synonymous. One almost always guarantees the other. And that out there was a crack in the walls of the universe, and I glimpsed part of the future on the other side. Enough to know that we couldn't investigate, because it woulds mean seeing a future I don't believe we're meant to know about it in a world that isn't our own. The universe is cracking apart here, and something else is bleeding through...” Jayne mumbled this last bit, flicking switches that didn't require switching and peeking at systems that didn't need attention. She was deliberately being evasive.

“So you obviously saw a glimpse of one of our own futures. Who? Who did you see on the other side of that crack?” the Doctor asked, his voice a low growl that belied his impatience with Jayne's obfuscation.

“Spoilers!” she blurted out, looking up at him with slightly wild eyes.

“So it was my future you saw then?” he probed, unrelenting in his inquisition. With only one life and no regenerations left, he had a vested interest in knowing what his future might hold. He could sense that both women were becoming uneasy with his tone and manner. He found he didn't care, not right now. His future, in another world? Gallifrey?

“No. Well, maybe. Yes. Sort of. Not you, per say. The other you. The one you were cloned from. His future. But I saw only a glimpse, I shut myself off to it on purpose. That's the absolute last I will say of it,” Jayne spoke firmly.

“You saw him. You saw the Doctor, in a parallel universe. Was he...okay?” Rose asked, a slight tremble in her voice. She was unable to meet the gaze of either of her companions as she asked her question. The Doctor was here, but she still would always be drawn to the one that was gone.

“I don't know. I didn't see that much. I said it was just a glimpse, that's all it was. But he was alive, if that's what you're getting at. I can't help but notice though that you're asking me more questions after I said I'd say no more about it,” Jayne replied, narrowing her eyes at Rose.

“You're lying!” Rose spat accusingly. “You saw more, you just aren't telling. Why won't you tell us what you know?”

“Stand down, girl. Have some respect, this is my ship. Or did you want to go back and continue fleeing Torchwood on your own? How long do you think the two of you can evade them, anyway? And what do you think they'd do to you if they caught you? I could go into detail, but I think your own imagination is capable of filling in the rest. If you want to keep riding, hold your damn tongue,” Jayne threatened.

Rose started to speak again, but the Doctor cut her off. “Rose, why don't you go call your mum and let her and Pete and Tony know you're okay. I'm sure they'll be worried about you.”

“I haven't got a mobile, Doctor. Or did you forget that?” she asked evenly, punctuating this with a stare that could wither a Dalek's eye stalk.

“There's a phone in the library. Perhaps you should go look for it,” Jayne interjected, her saccharine sweet tone laced with sarcasm.

Rose pulled a face, but caught a glance at the Doctor and evidently decided not to further pursue this line of questioning, at least not at the moment. Even she knew better, and neither of them wanted to be thrown off what would probably be the first and possibly last TARDIS they would see in this universe if they couldn't manage to successfully cultivate their own chunk of TARDIS coral. And his point was a well-made one, as it had been more than a day's time since they disappeared. Her family would legitimately be worried.

“I hate it when you're right, you know,” Rose replied, ignoring Jayne as she sidled in between her and the Doctor. She took his hand in her own and squeezed gently before releasing him and turning to walk back down the hallway. Jayne and the Doctor were quiet as Rose's retreating footfalls echoed back at them and then finally tapered off into silence.

“She's going to need to learn a little respect. I think the rules are silly too, and I had no problem breaking them before. But then things went pear-shaped, and I lost everything. The last thing I want right now is a hitchhiker who wants to backseat drive every step of the way.,” she said pointedly.

“Hey,” the Doctor replied, putting his palms up defensively. “I didn't fight you that hard. I get it. I still think it's ultimately futile, but I get it. You just need to understand though....things were different when Rose and I traveled together. When she met me, it was right after the end of the last great Time War. All of Gallifrey was long gone by then, and the Time Lords with it. There were no rules, because there was no one left to enforce them. There was just me, all blood, and anger and revenge, until there was Rose. All she ever wanted was to help others, even if it meant putting herself in harm's way. She was..she is...just so good, Jayne. She was so human, I couldn't help but be changed by her. She looked into the time vortex to save my life. She would've burned herself out, just to save me. But I couldn't let her. I took the time vortex out of her head and I regenerated, and she was still there. And she's still here now, even after I lost her, even after I lost part of myself. I'm something new now, not quite human and not quite Time Lord, and Rose is just trying to protect me. Because that's what she does...Jayne, are you crying?”

Jayne looked away and surreptitiously scrubbed at her eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, I've just got a bit of dust in my eye. Touching story, though. They are so good though, aren't they Doctor?” she whispered softly, looking at her hands. When the Doctor slipped his arm around her shoulder, she looked at him in surprise but made no efforts to remove herself.

“Tell me about Trista,” he prodded gently.

“No,” she said firmly, swiping again at her cheeks. “It hurts to even hear her name. Tell me more about Rose, about your adventures together.”

“Oh, there were so many. And now, those memories feel so far away to me, like they happened to another man and I'm just reading the cliff notes. Silly, of course, although I guess in a way it's true. I'm the Doctor...but the Doctor is in another universe. And I wonder if there is someone there to hold his hand any more, and I feel lucky because I still have Rose and I love her so much that it hurts to look at her sometimes and remember everything went went through and everything that was almost lost forever. The first face this regeneration saw, imprinted onto both my hearts forever. Well, just the one now. Well, still the both of his hearts that were once mine, I guess. Although technically speaking, I suppose the first face this body ever saw was Donna's, and there's no denying the literal influence she had on me. It's hard not to think about her-she's literally in my DNA. Rose made me feel human, but Donna was the one who breathed humanity right into me. Now I've only got one heart, but Donna had more heart than an army of Time Lords, and I feel that and think of her everyday. She made me human, she gave me the one adventure I could never have had as a Time Lord.. Quite the parting gift from one of the most extraordinary women I've ever known,” he said, smiling as he thought about the fiery redhead who'd been both his first and last companion, in a manner of speaking. 

There was something very poetic about it-Donna had first been there right after Rose disappeared, and then again when she returned to him. Without her, a reunion would never have been possible, amongst other things. He owed her his life, in more ways than one. His heart ached when he thought again about how he'd never really gotten the opportunity to thank her. She knew he supposed, but something in her eyes that last moment on the beach told him everything he needed to know about what would come next for poor Donna Noble. He reached up and brushed away a tear of his own as he thought about Donna, who would've had to forget all of that to preserve her life. She'd always thought so little of herself, it seemed criminal that she would have to forget the life that proved she how extraordinary she was after all.

Jayne's face was awed as she looked back at him. He could sense she was on the verge of saying something of great importance, though she seemed to be fiercely deliberating this internally with herself. The sound of foot steps in the hallway returning toward the control room seemed to make the decision for her, and she cleared her throat and pulled away from him. He felt his heart sink, realizing that an opportunity had come and gone before he'd even realized it. Whatever it was she'd been about to reveal, she wasn't going to do in the presence of Rose. But why? Why the secretiveness?

“Am I interrupting something?” Rose asked, sensing the obvious tension in the room. Jayne and the Doctor both chuckled nervously in response to this, to which Rose raised her eyebrows. “Right. Well then, I spoke with dad, let him know we're alright. I didn't go into details, though-the phone was bugged, he used the code word to alert me. He did tell me that Torchwood was looking for us, though. They've temporarily relived him of duties because of it. Quite a mess, it all is. I don't know what we're going to do, because we can't go back. Not right now, anyway.”

“Well, you don't have to go back. Not right now, anyway,” Jayne said, her tone worlds friendlier than it had been previous to their most recent conversation. “We can set course for one of the vacation planets and figure out what we're going to do with you to. In the mean time, don't sweat Torchwood. Before I bring you two back, I'll fix it. I promise.”

“Oh,” Rose muttered, blinking back her shock. “Well, thanks...?”

“Don't mention it,” Jayne said, waving her hand dismissively. “But seriously, though, don't mention it. My ship, my rules. I don't want to fight about them. Got it?”

Rose and the Doctor both nodded their confirmation. “Yes”.


	12. Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plea from her mother urges Jayne to return home.

Back in the garden room with the Gallifreyan night sky for a ceiling, Rose and the Doctor spread out sleeping bags and arranged pillows. Jayne had offered them a bedroom, but feeling terribly nostalgic the Doctor had declined, citing his desire to sleep under a sky that felt like home. The day had left him feeling rattled and strangely vulnerable. He didn't like that Jayne could see into his mind so much more easily than he could look into hers. It made him uncomfortable, and the added effort of cloaking his thoughts had exhausted him. Though she'd said she wouldn't peek, her own secretiveness left him feeling skeptical. He wanted to trust her, but he'd been burned enough times before to know better than to go into it blindly.

After zipping their sleeping bags together, they both started to undress. Rose, stripped down to just her knickers, caught his eye and gave him a wink as she slipped them over her hips. Naked, she slipped into the sleeping bag and wiggled around a bit.

“Feels funny inside, almost like silk. Feels nice on my bare skin, though...” she purred, rolling onto her side and propping herself up to look at him.

“You're a tease, girl,” he laughed, slipping his own pants off and sliding into the bag next to her. “Sometimes I think you purposefully start arguments with me so you can initiate make-up sex later.”

“I'm quite certain I don't know what you're talking about, Doctor,” she said, batting her eyelashes at him with feigned innocence as he pulled her closer. For a few minutes they laid like that together, face to face and close enough that he could feel the gentle tickle of Rose's breath on his cheek. When she leaned forward to kiss him, he thought he would melt. Their was more tenderness than fire in her touch, but tonight that was just what he needed.

“I love you, Rose. And yes, you're right, sometimes it does need saying. I'm sorry we rowed today,” he whispered against her neck, brushing his lips against the sweet spot below her ear that he knew drove her mad.

“I'm sorry, too. You're right, though...I can be selfish sometimes. Probably doesn't hurt for you to remind me of that every once in a while. I know it's you, and you're the Doctor, but that other life just feels worlds away sometimes, literally. I guess I take it for granted that you still have all the same memories and pain. I'm sorry, I really am,” she said, her voice hitching with the promise of tears. 

Before she could begin to cry, he pulled her tighter and kissed her firmly on the mouth. “There's nothing to cry about tonight, Rose Tyler, soon to be Rose Smith. We're here together, under an inexplicable sky. Our world is in chaos, we're on the run, and you know what? That's entirely okay. Because I'm with you. And there's absolutely no one else I'd rather be with. Cross my single heart.”

“Do you really think it'll be okay? I mean..can we really trust Jayne?” Rose asked, tilting her head up and looking around, almost as though she expected to see someone watching them. Still, as the saying went, the walls have ears. In the case of a sentient time machine, this phrase could potentially hold more water than it would elsewhere.

“Hard telling. We don't know anything about her really, other than the fact that she apparently went through something so awful she purposefully became human to try to forget it. And I suspect that something had to do with a human companion of hers, a girl named Trista. She was ginger, that was about all I could see,” he admitted.

“Leave it to you to notice she was apparently ginger. You're human now, why not just color your hair and get it over with already?” Rose asked, rolling her eyes at the exaggerated look of horror he shot her at the very suggestion of messing with his perfectly maintained coif. “I don't know though, Doctor. Perhaps I'm imagining things, but she seemed to know you. I mean her Time Lord or Lady self, rather, seemed to show some recognition for the Doctor. What do you think that's about?”

“I don't know. I don't know that it was the Doctor she was recognizing specifically, although it sure did feel that way. I don't think she felt like she knew me, but that somehow, she knew of me. Which I suppose isn't inconceivable. But if her Time Lords know of me, than they should've known about the breach at Torchwood. They should've fixed it. Unless they couldn't, for some reason...” he trailed off, losing himself in the myriad of possibilities. 

He debated telling Rose about the strange exchange he'd had with Jayne in her absence, but something in him hesitated. If he betrayed the Time Lady's trust now, he might never regain it, and whatever secrets she was hiding might be of importance. He felt a momentary pang of guilt, though. He hated lying to Rose, and a lie by omission was still a lie. He could only hope his silence now would help insure more answers later. Jayne had been so close to spilling her guts to him, it was maddening to think of that missed moment.

“Well, never mind that for now,” Rose whispered, draping her leg over his hip and forcing him to acknowledge his rising arousal between them. “There will be plenty of time for talk in the morning. For now, shhh...”

For the Doctor, it felt truly like coming home.

* * * * *

Jayne sat in the control room of the TARDIS, legs propped up on the console, head leaned back in thought. She felt like she would never sleep again, like she had been asleep for fifteen years. And what had she woken up to? Another not quite Time Lord, who called himself the Doctor. And incredibly, that wasn't the biggest thing that had happened to her today.

She felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes again as she recalled the adoration and tenderness with which the Doctor had spoken of Rose. He'd been so completely earnest too, not a shred of insincerity in any of it. It made her ache for her own human companion and lover, now long gone. Perhaps their mutual loss was part of what had drawn them together. He mourned his world, and she was mourning the girl who'd become her world after she'd set off from home for the first time. She would've torn the world asunder for Trista, and she nearly had. It seemed the Doctor and Rose had been through just as much. Except Rose was still alive.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to recall the first and only human she had ever loved, the first she had been unable to save. And wasn't that the irony? Her and Trista had flown around, all of time and space and just the two of them had managed to right so many wrongs and save so many people along the way. The Time Lords had warned her about growing too attached to human companions, for they were fragile and fleeting. She had forsaken the warnings, convinced that she would have a good fifty or sixty years to sort that all out. And what had been her undoing? She couldn't even bear to think about it. The simplicity of the thing that had killed Trista still drove her mad. It seemed like it should've been easy enough a thing to fix. And yet when she'd tried, she'd punched a hole right through the fabric of the universe.

And if all that weren't bad enough, there were the messages. The pleadings to please come home. It was rather uncharacteristic of her mother to be so over protective, but she supposed in fairness she had been gone for an awfully long time. Fifteen years was both a blink and an eternity. She'd dropped completely off the radar-even if her family could've found the TARDIS, they wouldn't have been able to recognize her, not in this regeneration and not with the Chameleon Arch having done its job. How long did a Time Lady have to have been gone before they decided she'd died or deserted her people? She could only wonder. Fifteen years was nothing and everything. It was long enough for conflicts to start and end, and in her absence they evidently had.

Sighing, Jayne heaved herself off the jump seat and began pacing around the console. She checked her monitors, making note of their progress towards Isadora IV, the planet that was home to the largest underground hot springs in the galaxy. It was nice there. Dark and quiet, the perfect environment for contemplation. Not that she needed any more help brooding these days, but dammit, it was hard not to wallow in it. For fifteen years she'd been running from the gravity of what she'd done, and the shrapnel was only now starting to hit her with full force.

She paced some more, coming to a stop in front of her communications monitor. Her fingers played over the buttons, scrolling through the various messages and signals that had filtered in while she'd been gone from the TARDIS. Most of them were from her mother, generic pleadings for her to come home, how worried they were, how missed she was. It was the last message though that had her worried, and after a moment lingering she called it back up.

On the screen, an aged woman's face came into view, her blonde hair finally gone white pulled into a thick braid draped over her shoulder. She was dressed in the traditional ceremonial robes, though Jayne could see that some of the little gold buttons had been missed, as though she'd dressed in a hurry. Her face was harried, and lined with worry.

“It's been so long, I don't even know if you're out there anymore. I can't even blame you for wanting to go though, because I understand you and I understand that impulse for adventure. But please, if you can hear this wherever you are, and I hope that wherever you are you're alive, than please come home. I know you're probably still upset and angry about Trista, and I don't blame you. But we need you now. There's another war on, maybe a big one. Only time will tell,” the woman said with a wry chuckle.

“But we need you, my daughter. All is forgiven, you have to know that. You are young, you're still learning. You aren't the first Time Lord to make a mistake, you won't be the last. The High Council understands what you did, your father understands, and of course I understand, too. But please, please for the love of Rassilon, come back.”

“Please Donna, the future of Gallifrey could depend on it.”


	13. Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor, Rose and Jayne land on Isadora IV, but the welcome they receive is less friendly.

“Well, doesn't this feel like deja vu. Instead of going on vacation, we're sitting in a jail on a foreign planet, probably awaiting our own executions. Do any of you lot believe in travel guides?” Rose grumbled.

“Calm down,” Jayne and the Doctor both said in unison, casting each other an uneasy glance as they did. Rose just rolled her eyes at them, as if to say that this was easier said than done.

Things had started out well enough. They had managed a smooth landing on Isadora IV, in the middle of the forest. What created problems was that the forest was apparently sacred and home to a precious relic of the Isadoran people, who had been none too thrilled when the TARDIS had materialized directly on top of the temple where it was housed. There had been running, of course, but the three of them were quite outnumbered by the locals. Locals who had not been impressed with their story of just being tourists looking for the underground springs. Locals that were quite tall, with sharp and pointing edges and a dusty red complexion that made them appear constantly angry.

On top of that, Isadora VI was a hostile planet, one that apparently did not allow or encourage outside visitors, and did not care if their landing had been accidental. They had been unceremoniously captured and thrown in a dark, dirty cell, with no word on what was to become of them. Their guards, if there even were any, were nowhere to be seen or questioned. Which, given the Doctor's propensity to make situations worse with his mouth, might not have been an entirely bad thing.

“Listen,” Jayne said calmly, getting to her feet and taking off her earrings. “I got us into this mess, I'll get us out of it.”

“What, are you going to try to bargain your way out with a pair of earrings? I don't think our captors are particularly concerned with frivolous finery, and they're nowhere to be found anyway,” the Doctor scoffed, toying with his malfunctioning sonic. For whatever reason, he'd been unable to get it to work properly since they had landed. Something about the atmosphere, maybe.

Jayne only smiled coyly at him as she approached the door to their cell, earrings in hand. Positioning one bauble each on either side of the lock, she did some fiddling and stood back. With a small green crackle and the sharp smell of ozone, the lock on the cell door popped off and the door swung open. Rose and the Doctor could only stare, gobsmacked.

“How in the world...?” the Doctor managed to stammer.

“Oh, those? Yeah, that was just a little something I developed for my a science project at the Academy. A tiny laser device, disguised in a piece of jewelry, that can open any lock,” she said nonchalantly, handing the earrings to the Doctor so he could examine them. 

“Impressive,” he said, turning them around in his hands. He couldn't help but be a little bit awed at the genius and attention to detail that had gone into crafting them. “Although I can't help but wonder why you let us sit here for an hour if you had these the whole time.”

“You can never be too cautious, Doctor. I wanted to make sure we weren't being observed, and I don't believe we are. That, and for my own entertainment, I suppose. It was rather amusing to watch you fuss and fiddle over your sonic, which probably just needs to be charged,” Jayne said through a smirk.

“Sonics don't need charging,” the Doctor grumbled back at her.

“Oh, don't they?” she replied, cocking her eyebrow at him in such a way that suggested she thought him a bit of a moron. “Well, if you say so. Bet you these earrings I can prove it later, though.”

“Oh come on you two. Now's not the time for a genitalia measuring contest. More escaping, less quibbling,” Rose said, barely able to hide her irritation as she slipped out the cell door and into the corridor. Jayne and the Doctor exchanged a final look before slipping out behind her.

The Isadorans were a tall people, and the corridor felt cavernous as they slowly made their way down it. Other cells lined the walls, though all of them seemed to be empty, hinting that the Isadorans either rarely took captives or rarely let those captives live. Rose took the Doctor's hand and the two of them slipped behind Jayne, letting her lead the way.

“Well this is very apropos for our first adventure since the last time we were both almost killed saving the world,” the Doctor joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Don't know about you, but I think I'd be perfectly fine with not dying quite yet, and certainly not today,” Rose whispered back to him.

“Yeah, I agree. Thursday's a rubbish day for dying,” he responded congenially. Rose slapped at him playfully, and he managed to evade her by crashing into the wall instead. Jayne stopped her progress just long enough to shoot them a dirty look and hold her finger to her lips, indicating they should be quiet. Like chastised children, they complied.

“And you two traveled how long together without managing to get killed?” she whispered, pausing to use her laser earrings on yet another locked door.

“Not nearly long enough,” the Doctor whispered back, squeezing Rose's hand as he did. She smiled fondly back at him, and patted his hand.

“Oh, barf. You two are going to give me a diabetes if you don't cut it out. Which shouldn't even be possible, given my biology,” Jayne muttered, pocketing the earrings and cautiously opening the door.

Together, the three of them stepped outside onto a deserted stone veranda. Night was fast approaching, and the twin suns of Isadora IV setting burned with an intensity Rose hadn't felt since she had almost witnessed the destruction of Earth on her first trip with the Doctor. The sky was painted in wide swaths of purple and cerulean, reflecting off an ocean the color of cotton candy. Though time was of the essence, they couldn't help but stand still and marvel for just a moment. The view was breathtaking.

It was Rose who finally broke the silence. “Do you guys hear that?”

“Hear what? I don't hear anything at...oh,” Jayne said, answering her own question. The town sprawled below them was quiet. Not quiet in the way that a sleepy village would be in the evening as they were getting ready to wind down from the day, but quiet in the sort of way that suggested no one was home. The streets were empty, the windows of the houses were dark, and the only sound was that of the wind whipping through the buildings. Below them, it looked like a ghost town.

“Well, this doesn't bode well. Where has everybody gone?” the Doctor mused out loud, resting his elbows on the stone wall.

“Well, I have no intentions of sticking around to find out. And before you ask or protest, let me just say this. No. Whatever questions you have, whatever persuasions you will try to offer, the answer is no. Unless the question is 'are we going back to the TARDIS now?', in which case the answer is yes. But otherwise, no,” Jayne commanded, heading towards the stairs.

“It's funny, isn't it?” the Doctor asked Rose as they ran down the stairs behind Jayne.

“What's funny?” she replied.

“That she thinks we're just going to go back to the TARDIS and nothing at all will happen between here and there,” he answered, unable to keep himself from grinning as they ran hand in hand down the street behind Jayne.

“Yeah.” Rose laughed. “That is pretty funny. Can you remember the last time an escape was ever that simple, because I sure can't.”

They ran through the entirety of the town and back into the forest without encountering anyone, much to the surprise of Rose and the Doctor, who had both been expecting someone or something to pop up and impede their progress at any given turn. Jayne lead the way, stopping only when they had reached the clearing where the TARDIS had first landed. She cursed under her breath, something that sounded unintelligible to Rose, but not the Doctor.

“Oi, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” he teased her. 

“It's not funny! The TARDIS is gone,” Jayne said, pointing through the trees to the top of the temple, which was quite visibly lacking a space and time machine on top. Outside the temple torches were lit, and what sounded like drums and chanting could be heard emanating from inside.

“Right. Well, it's to be expected. Escaping was painfully easy. Which would maybe explain why they weren't so concerned with someone watching over us-even if we got out of our cell, they obviously knew we weren't going to be going anywhere anyway,” Rose said, slowly creeping closer through the trees toward the temple.

“I guess this means we'll have to interfere after all...?” the Doctor asked, tilting his eyebrows at Jayne.

“I will slap the smug right off your face, see if I don't,” she warned. “We find the TARDIS, and then we leave. That's it.”

“Oh, yeah, just find the TARDIS and head back out, easy peasy. I'm sure we'll have no problem at all doing that,” the Doctor said cheerfully.

“I think I liked you better when I still thought we were both human,” Jayne hissed back at him. 

Rose chuckled at this and was rewarded by another withering Time Lady stare. She sobered up long enough for Jayne to look away, and then continued her silent giggling.

Together the three of them clustered around a stand of trees, peering at the entrance of the temple, the unspoken question hanging above them: was the TARDIS inside, or had they taken it somewhere else? The forest itself was unnaturally quiet as well, which was even more unnerving than the sound of drums coming from inside.

“Well, we can't just stand here forever waiting for the TARDIS to materialize. Shall we?” Rose asked, gesturing at the entrance.

The Doctor's eyes were dancing with the light of the fire. Despite the danger of the situation, he looked utterly thrilled to be there, a stark contrast to Jayne's grimness.

“We shall indeed. Allons-y!”


	14. A Hasty Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayne bluffs their way out of a possible confrontation, and they take on two unexpected passengers.

Immediately past the entrance to the temple, it became pitch black, the flame outside failing to penetrate the depths within. The Doctor held the sonic out ahead of him for illumination, tightening his grip on Rose's hand as he felt the ground sloping sharply downwards. Behind them Jayne was carrying her own small sonic device for light, muttering unhappily about interference all the while.

“We aren't armed. You don't think that may present a problem later?” she quipped, ducking her head to avoid a low-hanging outcropping of rock.

“Do we need to be armed? We're surrounded by pointy rocks. I never carry weapons, and I've managed to survive so far on my wits alone. Well, that and a bit of dumb luck every now and then,” the Doctor replied.

“That's a sweet sentiment, but my mother was nearly murdered by someone who carried a gun. I'm not the violent sort myself, but I'm admittedly very uncomfortable with this. We could quite literally be walking into the lion's den, and then what? We throw some rocks at it and hope it doesn't eat us?”

“I doubt there are lions here. But I suppose you would know better than I whether or not they're indigenous to this galaxy...”

“You know what I meant, Doctor!”

The three of them came to a stop at what seemed to be a natural doorway in the living rock. Here, it was softly illuminated, though the source of the light was still unknown. They clustered around the gap in the rock, peering carefully out into the cavern below.

From the doorway was a set of rough stone steps that led to a wide, flat balcony. Large and elaborately carved stone steps led the way down from the balcony to the cavern floor, where piles of glittering rocks were arranged in more elaborate designs and patterns. In the center of the gigantic room was the TARDIS, arranged to be what was obviously an altar, the ground immediately around it littered with bones and skulls. In the center of this altar was what appeared to be a teenaged Isadoran girl, naked and with large, dark eyes that even from this distance shone with fear. The Isadorans, also naked, danced and sang around the TARDIS. From outside of the circle, two older men dragged a struggling boy in between them. The girl, upon spotting the boy in the distance, began to weep into her hands.

“That looks an awful lot like the beginning of a tribal hieros gamos ritual to me,” the Doctor muttered darkly.

“That doesn't look anything like a hero's game ritual to me. Those kids look terrified! Especially that poor girl,” Rose whispered in response.

“No, no, no. Not hero's game. Hieros gamos. It's a ritual, symbolizing the marriage of two gods and the consummation of that marriage, sometimes acted out with live participants. It's a fertility ritual,” Jayne said impatiently.

“Yes well, usually the participants are consenting adults, not two terrified teenagers. We have to stop them, Jayne. Surely even you can agree with me on this one?” the Doctor asked, his voice raising an octave with the rhetorical question.

“Jayne?” Rose prodded, her voice urgent.

“They're just kids...” Jayne said sadly.

“Yes, I know. That's the point. They're just kids. We have a responsibility to help them. We have to interfere either way, the TARDIS is down there, about to be defiled!” the Doctor cried, his voice becoming increasingly panicked.

“Yes, okay. Alright. Yes. Okay. For the children. We can do this,” Jayne whispered, though she didn't sound quite so sure herself as she pushed past them, onto the rough stone steps. Rose and the Doctor glanced briefly at each other, and set out behind her. The three of them made it to the balcony unnoticed. They might even have stayed that way, too, but Jayne began to shout.

“You there! Isadorans! I am a goddess, and that is my temple that you dare defile with that naked child. Halt this blasphemous ritual at once!”

The two teenagers stood huddled together on top of the TARDIS, clutching each other. They looked up startled, but did not speak or offer any further reaction. They seemed paralyzed by their fear. The rest of the Isadorans did not seem nearly as perturbed by their presence, instead advancing on them with menace in their eyes.

“Oh, this could end very, very badly,” the Doctor squeaked, reaching for a broken piece of rock.

“What manner of goddess are you, allowing yourself and your servants to be captured?” asked one woman, wearing a particularly ornate headdress that denoted her as some type of high priestess.

“Nothing happens that I don't will. You think that you captured us, but in truth we allowed you to think you had done so, so that you would become overly confident in your sense of victory. Clearly, it worked. This ritual displeases me. You dare offend the gods by offering up these children?,” Jayne asked angrily, stepping off the steps and making her way in between the people, toward the TARDIS. Was this actually going to work?

“If you're a goddess, how come we've never seen you before?”

“Impertinent people! Who has the audacity to question the goddess? The gods are busy, most of them care not to involve themselves in the affairs of mere mortals. But I have seen your people, and I see that you intend to allow children to carry out a ritual that is sacred to the gods. This cannot be allowed!” Jayne shouted, banging her fist against the side of the TARDIS. The Isadorans were pacing, and whispering uneasily amongst themselves. This was the point where they'd either decide that they believed Jayne and stand down, or laugh in her face and punish them for intercepting.

“The children are all that's left of the royal family! The rest have disappeared. The bloodline must be continued!”

“Oh, sick. They're brother and sister!,” Rose whispered to the Doctor. The two of them had managed to creep down the stairs and around the side of the cavern while the Isadorans were distracted by Jayne's rantings and ravings. Now they were creeping up on the other side of the TARDIS. The girl spotted them, and the Doctor brought his finger to his lips, begging her silence. Before the Isadorans could react, Rose and the Doctor had rolled onto the side of the ship. With a flick of the sonic, the door the children were standing on opened inwards, tumbling them into the console room. The Doctor reached over the side to give Jayne a hand, fighting against the men to pull her up onto the TARDIS. Together, the three of them jumped into the door, the Doctor forcing it shut behind them.

A panicked Jayne threw herself onto the console, pulling levers and punching buttons to put everything right again. The Doctor and Rose stood against the door, forcing it shut and struggling to lock it. They finally collapsed onto the floor as the ship dematerialized, leaving the sounds of the angry Isadorans behind, but not those of their sobbing charges here on the ship.

“Well, your methods are a bit strange Jayne, but I'll give it to you, they were seemingly effective. I couldn't tell if they believed you, or were just fascinated by your craziness,” the Doctor said breathlessly.

“We rescued the kids, didn't we?” she replied brusquely, casting a glance at the two of them staring bewildered around the console room.

“Yeah well..now what?” Rose asked, vocalizing the question on all of their minds. The three of them looked at their new charges, huddled on the floor.

“I'll go get them some clothes. Why don't you two do whatever it is you would normally do in a situation like this...” Jayne said, her voice trailing off as she disappeared down the corridor.

Rose and the Doctor exchanged glances. They had managed to stop the ritual, but there were still a dozen unanswered questions. Where had the rest of the villagers gone? What did they mean the children were all that was left? What was the perverted purpose in having a brother and sister perform the ritual? 

The children themselves were silent besides the girl's quiet sobbing, offering up no answers on their own accord. The Doctor offered the girl his jacket, but she only stared at him when he draped it over her shoulders. She did pull the fabric tightly around herself, but her look was still one of fear and mistrust.

Rose attempted to crouch next to the girl, but the child cringed away from her, obviously frightened by her. Her brother drew a protective arm around her, but refused to meet Rose's gaze when she glanced at him. She was admittedly perplexed. She'd never seemed to have trouble connecting to even the strangest creatures in the past. These kids were practically human, but they were treating her as though she were a monster that might devour them at any second. She looked back over at the Doctor, propped against the console and chewing his lip thoughtfully.

“Doctor, help me. Help them,” she implored. He seemed uncomfortable at the suggestion, but moved forward to kneel before the two of them.

“You don't have to be afraid, you're safe here with us. Just tell us what happened,” he coaxed. Both teenagers regarded him with big, wet eyes, but neither spoke. “We can help you, if you'll let us. I'm the Doctor, and this is Rose. What are your names?”

The boy murmured something then, into the girl's ear. To the Doctor it sounded an awful lot like, “don't be afraid of the big bad wolf”. Rose evidently had heard it, too.

“What did he just say? Don't be afraid of the big bad wolf?” Rose asked, looking at him with something akin to fear in her own eyes. That simple phrase had a different sort of significance now.

“Why'd you say that? Where's the big bad wolf?” the Doctor demanded, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. The boy looked at him reproachfully and pulled away. It dawned on him, though. “Rose...I think they're afraid of you.”

Jayne emerged from the corridor, her arms laden with clothing. She clumsily laid the pile in front of the children, then stood back uncomfortably. “Who's afraid of who now?”

“The children,” Rose said numbly. “They're afraid of me, for some reason.”

“Afraid of you?” Jayne snorted. “Well, that can't be right. Why would you lot be afraid of her?”

“She has the wolf in her. The wolf is a predator of our people,” the boy said simply.

“Oh, so you do talk! Wonderful. Doctor, Rose, why don't you go fetch some tea for our charges?” she instructed primly, leaving no room for argument on their part.

Rose couldn't help but look back over her shoulder at them. How ironic it was, that she and the Doctor had been the ones to insist they try and help in spite of Jayne's resistance. Now Jayne seemed to be the one taking charge.

The two of them walked down the hallway toward the kitchen in relative silence. They'd been elbowed out of their own rescue effort, but besides that the strange reference to the big bad wolf still had them both uneasy.

“What do you think they meant, that they could see the wolf in me?” Rose asked, leaning against the cupboard.

“Don't know,” the Doctor replied simply, filling the kettle with water. “Perhaps they have low level psychic abilities, and they can sense the energy signature the time vortex left on you. Either way though, I don't know how willing they'll be to open up to you if they're afraid of what they think they see.”

“I don't even remember all of that. I don't feel any different. How can they see something if I can't even feel it there? Do you see anything when you look at me? Or did you used to, before...you know?” Rose wondered out loud.

“No. Well, maybe. Rose, I don't know. What does it matter anyway?” he replied, exasperated.

“It doesn't, I suppose. It's just weird. I suppose looking into the time vortex must have changed me somehow, even just a little bit. I just wish I could see what they see, that's all,” she sighed, setting cups and spoons out on the tea tray.

“This is going on what-the third or fourth times today we're making tea? Domestic sure happened a lot faster than I imagined it would...” the Doctor laughed, picking up tray and kettle and making toward the door.

They could hear voices as they approached the console room, what sounded like the boy whispering something, and Jayne's muffled response. The talking ceased when they made their entrance back into the room, however. Jayne and the kids, now clothed, exchanged a meaningful glance.

“I'm going to take them to the Penumbra Commission. The rest of their family is disappeared, without a trace. They can stay with us tonight, until we get there. Shouldn't be too long, though,” Jayne said, taking the tea tray from the Doctor and setting it down on the console.

“The Penumbra Commission? Is that this universe's version of the Shadow Proclamation?” the Doctor whispered to Rose, who only shrugged.

The five of them fell back into awkward silence, the divide between them obvious. It was clear the kids were wary of Rose, and the Doctor by association. In spite of that, they seemed to trust Jayne, but seemed unwilling to speak to her in the presence of the Doctor and Rose. Sensing the air of discomfort, they excused themselves to walk the hallways again.

“For all the griping about interfering, Jayne sure does seem comfortable playing the brave rescuer, doesn't she?” Rose commented.

“I'm not surprised. I sensed it was in her, but it was almost like she needed us to give her permission to do it. She took the lead down there. I honestly didn't think they were going to buy it, but it happened so fast. I just wish the children didn't seem so frightened by you,” he answered, reaching out and wiggling his fingers to indicate his desire to hold her hand.

“That makes two of us,” Rose said, slipping her hand into his. “But I'm sure there's more there than meets the eye. Whether or not we'll get a chance to figure it out though is a whole other story. It just always seems to come back to bad wolf...especially after the other day, it seems especially strange.”

“And there is no such thing as coincidence,” the Doctor declared, echoing Jayne's sentiment from earlier. 

It didn't feel like coincidence, and it probably wasn't And still he felt even more sure that their time to make the connection was running out. There was an urgency to the situation-not just the Isadoran heirs, but on board the TARDIS with Jayne. He'd come so close to finding out something important, he was certain of it. He could only hope there would be a second chance, although he knew better than to expect to get one.

Unconsciously, he continued counting down the minutes to something.


	15. The Legacy of the Bad Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After awakening from another vivid nightmare and facing sleeplessness, the Doctor goes for a midnight stroll and encounters the boy, who tells him his people's version of the bad wolf story.

Rose was trying to distract herself, and failing miserably at it. The Doctor hadn't stirred in some time and was so still, in fact, that Tony and her mother had set up the checkerboard and started playing a game on his chest. It would be funny, if not for the seriousness of the situation. She knew they were just trying to cheer her up, but at this point she was inconsolable. The only thing that would make her feel better would be to see those warm brown eyes meeting her own. Preferably in the next few hours, as time was running short, but any time at all would be acceptable. She couldn't bear the thought that he just might never wake up again, and refused to even entertain the idea.

She just wanted it to all be okay.

A sudden, sharp knock at the door jarred her out of her thoughts. Tony and her mother both stopped the game and looked at her expectantly. Sighing, she unfolded herself from the bed and went to look through the peep hole. A rather frazzled looking Pete stood on the other side.

“Hi, dad,” she mustered. 'What's going on?”

“Go look out your window. I think there's something you'll want to see out on the beach,” he said, taking her by the elbow and urging her toward the other side of the room. She went to the window, pulled the curtain aside, and felt her stomach do a somersault.

Down on the beach was an unmistakeable sight, a weathered blue box with a back lit black sign: Police Public Call Box. Just at that moment the door opened inward, and Rose caught a glimpse of the person on the other side, familiar and still wholly unexpected.

The shocked silence in the hotel room was deafening.

* * * * *

The Doctor awoke from yet another nightmare, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. He'd saved them all, saved her, and brought them back to Earth. But the old woman’s warning echoed in his mind: he will knock four times. He couldn't help but remember the Ood, who'd warned him that his song would be ending soon. But that had been a warning meant for the other Doctor, something he'd been told before the Metacrisis had even occurred. It had nothing to do with him.

He shook his head. He supposed it was normal to dream of his former life and former self, and to dream of the sort of adventures he might have. But the dreams were becoming more frequent, not less, and that worried him. As he adjusted to his mostly human life he had figured the dreams would taper off, but as of yet that had not been the case. And they just felt so real. His dreams didn't play out like a film, they played out like a memory he was recalling as though he had been there when it happened himself. Which was ridiculous, of course. It was just a dream, nothing more. 

“Just a dream, nothing more,” he said out loud to himself, a hollow reassurance. Snuggled up beside him Rose was still fast asleep, having slept through his little episode. He was glad. He hated disturbing her with his night terrors, though she swore up and down that it was no bother at all. But he hated how it made him feel when he first would wake up, powerless to the paralyzing fear of his dreams, and he hated scaring her with them even more.

Even the sight of the mock Gallifreyan sky above him could not soothe his jangling nerves, and he carefully scooted his way out from the sleeping bag. Rose stirred and rolled over, reaching out for him. He felt a twinge of guilt, but seeing that she was indeed still asleep he quickly dressed and crept into the hallway.

The lights were dim as he wandered his way aimlessly around the TARDIS. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, if anything at all, just that he was restless and not ready to attempt another go at sleeping. He found he still didn't require a whole lot of sleep anyway, which might be both a blessing and a curse if the dreams kept on like they had been.

He wandered into one of the TARDIS's many libraries, and was surprised to find the boy sitting in an armchair, staring into the fire. He hadn't yet noticed his presence, and he hesitated for a moment before coming forward.

“Mind if I sit here?” he asked, gesturing to another empty chair near the hearth. The boy shook his head noncommittally, but said nothing. The Doctor figured that was as close to an invitation as he was going to get, so he took it and sat down. “I gather you don't trust me or my fiancee. Which is fine, that's your entitlement not to, and it's wise on your part to be wary of strangers. I just wish I knew why, that's all. You trust Jayne, but you don't trust us. You said you saw the wolf in Rose, but what did you mean?”

The boy was silent, giving no indication he had even heard or understood the Doctor's question. He was about to get up, figuring it all futile, when the child finally answered.

“My people, we worship many gods. But two of the most important goddesses are the sister wolves, Johura and Talnor. Johura is the white wolf, the goddess of good and light, of sun and harvest and prosperity. Talnor, the black wolf, is the bringer of destruction, the goddess of death and war and famine and darkness.”

The Doctor waited for the boy to clarify or expound, but he did not. “So what does that have to do with Rose? You referred to the big bad wolf when you saw her, what did you mean? What did you see?”

“Your Rose has the spirit of the bad wolf Talnor in her. She has looked upon another god and destroyed him. Only the bad wolf acts as judge, jury, and executioner, believing herself to be infallible. But what makes the bad wolf any better than the god and creatures she destroyed?”

“I suppose that's a rhetorical question. But your vision must be incomplete. You could see that Rose destroyed another god, and she did, in a matter of speaking. The Emperor of a race of vile things called the Daleks, creatures who only know how to hate. They seek to kill and destroy anything and everything that isn't like them. Yes, Rose destroyed them, but she did it to protect the rest of the universe!” the Doctor exclaimed defensively.

The boy only smiled and shook his head. “You can only see what you choose to see, medicine man. But there is an incongruity in your statement. We worship the wolf because we fear her wrath, not because she is good. Destruction and genocide is not good. But we accept it as a necessary evil of life, a contrast to pureness and light. Without one, you cannot have the other. It is necessary, but it is not good. It just is.”

“It's complicated. Rose was not aware of herself or what she was doing when she destroyed the Daleks. She stared into an abyss that she was never meant to see, and it overwhelmed her. What happened is hardly her fault,” the Doctor said, finding himself growing frustrated.

“Perhaps she was unaware what she was doing. None the less, a deed done is a deed done, and no one other than her did that. Except of course for you. You call yourself the Doctor, they call you the destroyer of worlds. There was so much fire, so much death.”

“How could you possibly know that?” he whispered in disbelief, clutching at the arms of the chair so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

“I only know what I see. And when I look into both of your eyes, I see death and destruction and darkness. I see the bad wolf,” the boy said with a shrug, as if this were the simplest explanation in the world.

“We helped rescue you, doesn't that count for something?”

“The wolf is unpredictable. It may bite at any time.”

The Doctor found that he was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say in response to this strange boy and his inexplicable knowledge of events that had occurred worlds away from here. The two of them lapsed into silence, the only sound that of the crackling fire. Somehow, he felt even more conflicted than he had before the beginning of this conversation. There was still one more question, burning at the back of his mind.

“So you saw her past, our past. Can you see the future as well?”

“The past is a story that you tell with your eyes. The future is something you make with your lies. I cannot see it, but there is a sound. A sound like drums. Please, I have answered your questions. I beg you to take your leave, for you make me uneasy and my heart is already heavy with the loss of my people and the loss of my parents.”

Dumbstruck, he could only stare at the boy. A sound like drums? But it couldn't possibly be, he refused to believe it. The Master was dead, and he had held him in his arms and furiously wept for his final great loss when it happened. Whatever the boy thought he saw, he must be mistaken. The Doctor was unsettled, and only too glad to accommodate the boy's request that he leave. He got up from the chair and left the library, though it admittedly felt a lot more like fleeing than just leaving.

His heart in his chest pounded an uneven tattoo against his rib cage as he paced the TARDIS hallways, reminding him again that he was still infuriatingly human. Maybe his Time Lord self could have made sense of this, but he was damned if he could figure it out. On the heels of his bizarre dream, his conversation with the boy left him feeling even more unnerved and unsettled than before.

“Opposite of desired effect!” he muttered angrily to himself, stopping to rest his forehead against the wall, which felt cool against his flushed skin. Whether it was residual warmth from the fire or just pure adrenaline, he felt like he was burning up. He was terrified, confused, and felt completely out of control. Even he realized what a potentially dangerous combination of emotions this was for someone as impulsive as himself. He stalked his way towards the console room, the place he had felt the most at home in his own TARDIS.

He was surprised to see Jayne half-sprawled on the jump seat, her head leaning against the edge of the console. He cleared his throat, so as not to alarm her, and her head snapped up.

“I didn't mean to do it! I mean...I wasn't sleeping. I mean..oh fuck it, I don't know what I mean,” she mumbled groggily, sitting up. “It was a long day. What are you doing out of bed?”

“I don't sleep much. I just have nightmares. And I just had a rather disturbing conversation with one of our young charges, though I suppose that's neither here nor there. He had a rather uncanny knowledge of some of the events of myself and Rose's past,” he said, coming to lean against the console, across from Jayne.

“Oh, the bad wolf stuff? Yeah, him and Nori told me all about it. That's her name, by the way, if you were wondering. His name is Kalar. Evidently they have some sort of psychic abilities, though they appear to be somewhat limited. The details they gave me were quite vague. To be completely honest, I was more interested in their account of what happened to their family, anyway. I can't make any sense of it, personally. From what they said the royal family literally vanished without a trace, while they were sleeping. It was a normal night, they went to bed, woke up and found everyone was gone, including the servants. Only the townspeople and the high priest and priestess remained.”

“Vanished without a trace? There was nothing strange or out of place at all when they woke up and found everyone gone?” he asked, furrowing his brow.

“Evidently not,” she said through a yawn, stretching out as she did. “The doors and windows were all closed and locked, the guards outside the grounds apparently saw and heard nothing. We might never know what happened to them, but I'll let the Penumbra Commission attempt to sort that all out. After I deposit the children there, I have to take you and Rose back and then get on home. There are...pressing matters I need to attend to.”

“I suppose it would be pointless to attempt to persuade you one more time to bring us with you. It would be good to see Gallifrey again, even if it's not quite the Gallifrey I grew up on. We were always taught there were no others. I'll admit, it kind of shattered my world a little bit to hear that my destroyed home planet still exists in this universe.”

Jayne smiled sadly at him. “I know. I'm sorry. I wish it were different, but the timing isn't right.”

“So what's that mean? The timing might be right another time? Why can't you tell me what's going on? I know I'm not quite a Time Lord, but I'm pretty damn close.”

“Not close enough, I'm afraid. It's complicated. Gallifrey wouldn't be safe for you or Rose right now. I wish I could tell you more, but spoilers,” she said, shrugging her shoulders and holding up her hands, the universal gesture for 'what can you do?'.

“Ah, yes. Spoilers. You saw my future, but refuse to say what you saw. How...well-behaved of you,” he snorted derisively. “You know, it seems quite unfair that you have all this foreknowledge of me, and yet you've barely shared anything about you. I don't even know your real name.”

“And I don't know yours,” she reminded him, the silent challenge implicit in her words and tone.

“My real name is of no consequence in this universe. But yours...” he said, his voice trailing off. He didn't know why her real name seemed so important, but his gut told him it was the key to something that he was missing.

“I'm not sure I see how you could possibly know whether or not your name is of any importance in this universe. You've admitted that your telepathic abilities are limited by your biology. Regardless, I think this particular vein of conversation has come to an impasse. Please just trust me when I say that I have only the best intentions at heart. I'm protecting you and Rose, the same way I'm sure you would've protected your own companions in that other universe.”

“Would've? I thought you said you saw the other Doctor's future, that he was still alive?”

“Poor choice of words on my part. I'm sure the other Doctor still protects his companions. But really Doctor, I'm sorry. There's nothing else to talk about, not in that respect. I cannot tell you any more. Not here, not now. I'm sorry, I can sense your frustration ,and I wish I could assuage it. But I can't.”

He let out an irritated grunt and scrubbed furiously at his face. She was so infuriatingly vague! He had a renewed sympathy for those he had traveled with in the past, whose futures he had seen but could not reveal for fear of changing them.

“We'll be at the Penumbra Commission's headquarters shortly, and after that I have to take you and Rose back. I'm sorry. You might want to gather your things and get ready.”

“Jayne...please,” he implored, hating himself when he heard the plaintive sound in his voice, and hating himself even more when he saw the look she gave him. But the thought of going back now made him feel slightly crazed and desperate. There was still so much to find out, so much he didn't know or understand about the events of the past days.

“I can't. I'm sorry.”

As the Doctor stormed away, he felt his face burning hotly and were those...tears? Yes, they were, stinging the corners of his eyes. Tears of frustration. Oh, but he was so human sometimes now that it literally hurt, and it dawned on him how unlike that other man he had become. The other Doctor would've never succumbed to his emotions like this. Whatever he was now, it was something different, something changed, and it felt so unfamiliar and well, alien. Everyday that he was in this universe he felt further and further away from the Time Lord he had been, but when he thought about everything that had lead him to this place he thought maybe that might not be so bad after all. Maybe it was time to stop holding onto the Doctor, and start embracing John Smith.

At this rate, it didn't look like he had a choice.


	16. Secret's Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and the Doctor discover information from Jayne's past, and Jayne leaves the Doctor back on Pete's World with a cryptic message.

“Don’t wander off. I won’t be long, so there’s no need for either of you to leave the TARDIS. So don’t. Don’t, under any circumstances, leave the TARDIS. When I’m done here, I’ll be dropping you off back home and dealing with Torchwood myself. Did I mention absolutely no leaving of the TARDIS?” Jayne said sternly, casting a meaningful and severe look at both the Doctor and Rose. The two Isadoran teenagers were huddled next to her, looking sullen and tired and scared. 

Rose could sympathize, feeling about the same herself. The Doctor had been broody and moody, despite insisting that he was fine when Rose had pressed him for answers. It was rubbing off on her, and she felt anxious. Something was wrong, but whatever it was he evidently didn’t feel like sharing. She’d learned not to press him too hard, that he would eventually pour it all out on his own, usually in a sudden, breathless burst.

Jayne hustled the Isadorans out the door, shutting it quickly behind them. Rose and the Doctor exchanged a glance before they both rushed to press themselves against the door, listening for any sounds from outside. Disappointingly, they could hear nothing but some muffled whispering and murmurs, and then silence. They waited, poised for the sound of Jayne’s returning footfalls, but still heard nothing. The Doctor cleared his throat and ducked his head toward the door, indicating that they should investigate.

Rose could only chuckle. “It’s your stupid neck if she catches us.”

“Well then I guess we just won’t get caught, alright then Miss Tyler?” he replied, attempting to push the door open. It wouldn’t budge at first, but seemed to loosen up after the Doctor pointed the sonic at it menacingly.

They stepped out of the TARDIS, into a black and grey tiled hallway, peppered with large glass windows and potted plants. Muzak played softly in the background from an unseen source.

“It looks like a law office,” Rose whispered to the Doctor, taking his hand as they walked around the corner. After trekking down another long hallway, they came to what appeared to be some sort of reception room. A silver haired woman sat behind a desk that looked as though it were made of pure obsidian, staring intently at her computer monitor. 

“Can I help you? Do you need to a file a report?” she asked without looking up.

“Oh, us? No, no, we’re fine. We’re just waiting for our friend, she came through here a little while ago with two children. Do you know how long she’ll be?” the Doctor asked, being intentionally vague in the hopes that the receptionist may follow up with questions that might answer some of his own.

No such luck, of course, as the response was also frustratingly vague.

“I’m afraid not. The High Inquisitor was rather surprised to see her, so I suppose they may be awhile. You can’t go and disappear like she did and expect no one to ask any questions. Especially not after you turn up with two members of the Isadoran royal family,” she clucked.

“What do you mean, disappear like she did? What happened?” Rose asked before the Doctor had a chance to.

The receptionist rolled her eyes at them, looking incredibly put out. “You’re joking, right?”

“Do I look like I’m joking? Can you answer the question or not, Suzie Q?” Rose asked, the sharpness of her tone surprising even herself.

“Well there’s no need to be rude about it. Not my fault if you don’t keep up with the news, though it’s hardly news now, it happened long enough ago...”

“And...?” the Doctor asked, motioning with his hands to prompt her onwards, ignoring the dirty look she shot him in response. It was obvious the receptionist didn’t feel the urgency, but he worried that Jayne could return at any moment, ruining any chance they had of gleaning information. And ruining any chances they had of getting home, depending on how irate she would be if she caught them out of the TARDIS.

“No one knows why she did it, except maybe for the Time Lords. And of course they’re not telling, if they do. They had to clean up the whole bleedin’ mess after it happened. Oh, and it was a MESS. Never mind the explosion, that was the least of it. The hole in the universe was a whole other matter entirely.

But anyway, your friend the Time Lady stopped a planet from being blown up during a hostile takeover. Which was good, of course. What no one could understand though was why she would go back and then attempt to change the time stream so that she didn’t save the planet. There were rumors that her companion had died during the takeover, and she was attempting to keep it from happening. But after she did whatever she did that caused the hole, she disappeared. Not even the Time Lords have known where she was, and they were definitely looking for her. Broke a whole bunch of different Time Lord rules, doing what she did. In fact, you two probably know more about all that if you’re friends of her’s now...” the receptionist said, narrowing her eyes at them.

“Ah, not really, just happened to meet her by chance. You know Time Lords, how tight lipped they can be. We’ve only been traveling with her a short time, we probably don’t even know her real name,” the Doctor chuckled nervously.

“Speaking of names, I don’t believe I caught either of yours,” the receptionist said, suddenly looking at the two of them with more interest than she’d shown through the entire course of their conversation.

“John and Jane Smith, mum. Just two simple human travelers, that’s all,” Rose interjected quickly. Something told her to play their cards close to the vest, though she wasn’t sure why. Her thoughts were racing, though. Jayne’s companion had died?

“Yes, two simple human travelers just happened to be in the right place at the right time, I suppose. Anyway, I suppose we should just go wait for our friend now. Tata!” the Doctor said, practically tripping over the words as he tugged Rose away none too gently. The receptionist regarded them with mild curiosity as they retreated. It was only after they had turned the corner that she picked up the phone.

“Yes, hello? I’m sorry to bother you, but it appears our friend the Time Lady was not traveling alone as she earlier indicated. No, I didn’t detain them. Shall I send security to fetch them then? Right, I will,” the receptionist whispered, hanging up the phone. 

It was shaping up to be a rather strange day around the Penumbra Commission. It was almost as though the universe itself were rebelling. The return of the Time Lady and the missing Isadorans were only the half of it, as all day they’d been receiving reports of various members of alien aristocracies disappearing from a number of planets. Something odd was going on, something they suspected the Time Lords knew something about. Of course it was impossible to question them, given they had shifted Gallifrey to another place in space and were doing quite the stellar job of keeping it hidden. Still, it seemed as though the whole universe was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. She only got the vaguest sense of it, but it was enough to unsettle her. 

She attempted to radio for security and frowned when she got nothing but static on her receiver. Probably interference from a solar flare or something else. When a second and third attempt also proved fruitless, she sighed and pushed herself away from her desk. Better not to cross the High Inquisitor, she decided to walk down to security and alert them of the two persons of interest herself.

“If we get caught now, we’re toast,” Rose whispered. Her and the Doctor were hiding behind a large fern with giant purple fronds.

“Right then, so we just can’t get caught,” he whispered back, creeping over to the secretary’s desk. Rose followed closely behind him.

Once he was positive the woman was out of hearing range he sat down at the desk and began typing furiously on the keyboard, attempting to override the security protocols.

“Hurry up!” Rose urged him, casting a nervous glance over her shoulder.  
“Don’t you think I’m trying to go as fast as I can? The security here is a little more complicated than Torchwood’s 1234 alarm system,” he grumbled back. With a chirp that almost sounded cheerful, the computer unlocked, granting him access to the Commission’s private intelligence files. “Gotcha!”

Working quickly, he used the sonic to transfer the files off the computer. Footsteps could be heard approaching again from a distance, and Rose shot him a panicked look. He hastily disconnected and jammed the sonic back into his pocket before slinking back behind the plant. Once the secretary had passed them, they quietly crept back into the hallway and then began to run full tilt back to the TARDIS.

“Ooo, that was close!” Rose exclaimed breathlessly once they were safely back in the console room.

“Hardly! I think you’re losing your touch, Rose Tyler. It’s been too long since you and I ran together like this,” he replied with a smile. He took the sonic out and began twirling it between his fingers. “What do you say? Shall we have a look at those files before Jayne gets back?”

But they didn’t have a chance to look because it was at that particular moment that Jayne herself came tumbling through the front doors of the TARDIS.

“Well hello again. Definitely time to be going!” she said, sounding more than a little bit frazzled. On the other side of the TARDIS door came the sound of angry pounding and muffled voices. Jayne wasted no time at the console, and within moments they had begun to dematerialize. Relieved, she sank back against the edge of the console.

“Umm, so should we take that to mean your little drop off didn’t go as well as you’d anticipated?” the Doctor asked, trying not to sound snarky or guilty.

“Ha, yeah, I guess you could say that. I’ve kind of been missing in action for a while now, and some things have happened in my absence. Apparently you can’t just disappear like that, according to them. Never the less, I slipped away, as I always do. I’m a little better at the game than some players. Anyway, it’s home now for you two...”she said, looking down and refusing to meet their gaze.

“Jayne...are you sure you don’t want us to stay?” Rose asked. “It’s just...you seem like you could use company. We’d hate to think of you rattling all around the universe on your own, you know.”

“Well, no worries. I’ll be going home to Gallifrey, not ‘rattling around’, as you put it. I’ll be fine, really. And I’ll take care of Torchwood, as promised. I know you didn’t come aboard with much, but I assume you have all your things?”

“Yeah,” the Doctor replied abruptly, fixing Jayne with his stare as though he could will answers out of her. She still refused to look at him, instead focusing her attention on the monitors.

They rode in uncomfortable silence, the Doctor and Rose exchanging sidelong glances all the while. Of course they were wildly curious, especially after hearing the secretary’s story. And the files were sure to be interesting. The Doctor fought hard to keep these thoughts from floating at the forefront of his mind, knowing Jayne would be able to pick up on them if he wasn’t careful. He wasn’t even sure if it mattered any more, but he didn’t want to risk losing her trust, even now.

They landed back outside Jayne’s home in Scotland right around dusk. Rose exchanged a seemingly heartfelt but awkward goodbye with the Time Lady before hurrying toward the house, sensing the Doctor’s need to speak to Jayne privately. The Doctor hung back, a thousand questions on his lips. But there was barely even time for one, let alone all of them.

He embraced her, perhaps a little too long and a little too tightly. “Jayne...who are you?” he asked, pressing his luck this final time. He could see her confliction in her eyes, which perhaps had been why she’d refused to meet his gaze earlier on the TARDIS. 

“I wish I could tell you. And maybe I will, one day. But not here, not now. And trust me...it hurts me more than it hurts you, not telling. But the time is not right, and I fear that the more you know about me, the more potential danger it might put you in. Thank you for being my friend when I needed one. You’re a good man, I’m sure you were the finest of Time Lords. Goodbye, Doctor,” she said, her tone sincere and somber. She squeezed his hand briefly, then turned back toward the TARDIS.

“Jayne, wait! Will we ever see you again?” he called to her.

She stopped in the doorway of the TARDIS and cast an uncertain glance over her shoulder. “I hope so, yes. Time is in flux now, Doctor, and everything is uncertain. But I hope to return to you one day in the future, on the day that what you’ve lost is restored to you.”

Before he could ask her what she meant, the door was shut and the TARDIS was dematerializing, leaving a circle of dancing dust and leaves in its wake. He stared after it, feeling incredibly empty and hating himself for it just a little bit. Rose was standing on the doorstep, waiting patiently and steadfastly, as always.

“Come on then,” she said softly. He stared wistfully back at the spot where the TARDIS had been for a long moment before following her inside.


	17. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose seek physical comfort from each other after a devastating loss, and the Doctor discovers a terrifying secret from Jayne's hidden past.

The Doctor sat unmoving, staring at the laptop screen. He’d been trying for hours to decode the Penumbra Commission’s intelligence files, unsuccessfully. The fire that had been burning brightly when he settled himself down in front of it was now merely embers. While he’d attempted to crack the files, they’d discussed what the significance of the secretary’s story might be. Eventually, Rose had nodded off on the settee, haphazardly wrapped in blankets like a giant burrito. While she didn’t snore, every few minutes she would let out a soft little sigh that made the Doctor’s heart catch in his throat. No matter how conflicted traveling with Jayne had left him, he was still positive about Rose, and positive that he’d die before allowing harm to ever come to her.

He only realized that he’d started to nod off himself when the laptop chirped to alert him that he had a new email. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, and curiously clicked to open the new message.

 

To: "Dr. John Smith" - just_the_doctor@gmail.com

From: "The TARDIS" - t1m3Nspace@kasterborous.uni 

Doctor,

As promised, I dealt with Torchwood. You’d be proud, I think. It took a little hypnotism and a bit of innocent chemical persuasion, but everyone who was involved has no memory of the incident regarding what was seen during Rose’s brain scan, and instead only recalls an afternoon playing cricket. Fascinating thing, group hallucinations. I also took the liberty of scrubbing any remaining Torchwood files that mentioned the Doctor, just to be safe. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Also, they may or may not believe that you’re a consulting professor with the university. I thought you’d appreciate that. I’m sure there will be a name badge waiting at the front desk for you on Monday. For the love of Rassilon though, try to avoid any blood tests or body scans, if you can help it. 

Until we meet again (sooner than you’d think!),

-Jayne

He leaned back and reread the email, waiting for it to sink in. Everything about the past few days still seemed surreal, and he was still feeling anxiety about letting Jayne go without resolving the questions he had. It was all so infuriating! He reached into his pocket for the chunk of TARDIS coral, as though he were a child reaching for his security blanket. His fingers fumbled, but connected with nothing. His heart beat a panicky tattoo, like a trapped bird fluttering its wings uselessly against the bars of its cage . The last place he remembered having the coral was on the beach at Dårlig Ulv-Stranden, and if he’d lost it there than it was most certainly already gone, buried in the sand by the tide like a piece of refuse.

“No!” he whispered fiercely, blinking away the tears that prickled hotly in the corners of his eyes. “No, it has to be around here somewhere!” 

He took out the sonic and set it to track the coral, but it found nothing. He knew it wasn’t malfunctioning, but he allowed himself to briefly entertain the possibility anyway as he frantically searched every bag and pocket he could lay his hands on. With frustrated despair, he collapsed back on the floor in front of the fire and began to weep, something he hadn’t done in a very long time.

After a few moments he felt Rose wrap her arms around him, could feel her warm breath on his neck and smell the ghost of flowers from her perfume. She didn’t speak, just rocked him gently and softly stroked his hair while he cried. When his mouth sought out her own she didn’t stop him, and let him tangle his own fingers in her hair as he pulled her down to the floor with him. They fumbled against each other like a pair of hormone saturated teenagers after a school dance, and he felt himself grow instantly stiff when Rose slipped one cool, smooth hand into his trousers and began to stroke. He moaned softly and appreciatively into her mouth. and slid one hand under her shirt to caress her breast, his finger gently tracing circles around her nipple. She thrust her chest up into his cupped palm, nibbling on his lip as she did so.

They sat up in tandem while they kissed, both of them struggling out of their sweaty and disheveled clothing. They broke apart for a moment to pull their shirts over their heads before once again locking lips, as though each of them could only draw oxygen from the other. Rose shimmied her jeans over her hips and crawled into the Doctor’s lap, wrapping her legs around his waist and straddling him. While she was stripped down to just a lacey little bra and knickers, he was still clothed from the waist down. Gripping her firmly underneath the bum, he lifted her up and carried her into the guest bedroom, where the two of them fell onto the bed in an ungraceful tangle of limbs. 

Rose unbuttoned his trousers and shoved them, along with his pants, over the bony points of his hips, and he unceremoniously kicked the offending article of clothing to the floor at the foot of the bed. Now there was little more than maddeningly thin layers of undergarments between them. Where their flesh pressed together it burned hot with rushing blood and desire. Between his legs was an ache that demanded attention, and he wasted no time flurrying Rose’s neck and and shoulders with kisses that started soft and ended with a not-so-gentle nipping. Underneath his careful ministrations, her body was drawn taut like the skin of a drum, and when he slipped his hand into her knickers her body began to hum and shake like a plucked harp string. He could do little more than groan and sigh through a kiss when his fingers skated across the engorged bud of her clit. Feeling her arousal for him only intensified his own, and he frustratedly swatted her knickers aside, tearing them as he did. With nothing but space between them now he quickly closed the gap, gently parted her thighs, and rubbed the head of his cock teasingly against her singing flesh before slipping inside.

They clung tightly to each other, his hands firmly grasping her hips, her hands anchored firmly on his shoulders as they writhed against one another. On the cusp of release, she dug her nails painfully into his shoulders and clenched tightly around him, and he buried his head in the crook of her neck and continued thrusting into her until he felt a wave tugging at him like the force of a black hole. They came together, shuddering against each other before they collapsed back against the pillows in a heaving, sweaty pile. Rose reached out and took his hand, holding it against her hip. In silence they stared at the ceiling, neither one of them willing to break the perfect calm of the moment. It was the Doctor who finally cleared his throat and began to talk nearly half an hour later.

“The TARDIS coral is gone,” he whispered quietly, almost hoping she wouldn’t hear.

“Mmmmph...sleeping. Wait, what did you say?” Rose mumbled, raising her head from the pillow to fix him with a bleary-eyed stare.

“The TARDIS coral. I can’t find it anywhere, and the sonic can’t detect it, either. I think it must’ve gotten lost somewhere in the course of our adventures,” he blurted out. He held his breath, waiting for Rose’s inevitable angry response. 

The stunned silence though, it turned out, was much more nerve wracking, a thousand times worse than tearful screaming or shouting.

“Oh,” was all she finally managed to say several minutes later.

“Oh? I thought you’d be upset, furious even,” he replied, surprised.

“Well, I am upset. But if it’s gone, it’s gone. Not exactly like we can go jetting off back to the stars to look for it. No use crying over spilled milk, no use crying over a lost piece of TARDIS coral. Perhaps you and I were just meant to stick it out here on Pete’s World, helping them the best we can. We had our time in the stars...maybe now’s the time to settle down, be human, make a life together....”

Neither one of them spoke after this, instead seeming to weigh the gravity of the statement. Something in it rung true, and yet was also terribly disappointing. The idea of a life spent on the ground was still moderately terrifying. The TARDIS coral had been a tether, a safety net, and he felt terribly lost and empty without it. Then he felt guilty for feeling that way with the warm body of his future wife pressed up against him. Traveling all of time and space, helping everyone and anyone he could and what did he have to show for it? Nothing but loss and heartache and pain and death. Maybe life on the ground did have its perks, when he framed it in that context. Still, he imagined he felt a little like a long time convict must feel when their time is finally up and they go back to regular life. After living confined for so long, many of them were unsure how to live once they were free. The Doctor could relate.

Eventually the two of them drifted off like that, wrapped up in each other.

* * * * *

“It can’t be. No. Absolutely not, it can’t be possible,” the Doctor muttered to himself in xutter disbelief. He was in Rose’s office at Torchwood, hunched over one of their fancier computers. With the help of some of the alien technology they had access to, he’d been able to crack the security protocols and access the Penumbra Commission’s files. After hours of pouring through the files, he had found something that shook him at the very foundation of his being. He gripped the desk so hard, his knuckles were turning white.

Jayne’s voice echoed in his mind as he scanned over the contents of the file again. “Of course it wasn’t coincidence. And my name isn’t Jayne.”

Her real name was printed at the top of the file page. He had read it over and over again, refusing to believe it, refusing to believe that it could just be a matter of chance.

Jayne Miller, also known as Donna. He thought at first it had to be short for something else, something Time Lord. But it wasn’t. According to the file, her name was just Donna. But that was only the tip of the iceberg...

The file contained very little actual information, but it did have a handful of pictures. That was where the problems arose, at least for the Doctor. At the bottom of the file was a picture of the Time Lord believed to be Donna’s father. Short blonde hair, cold blue eyes, just the slightest hint of a knowing smirk. How could he ever forget that face? It was easier said than done, especially after he had watched the life flee from that face, so stubborn and proud, while he had begged him to please just regenerate.

In the picture the figure stood hunched behind a young Donna, dressed in the traditional robes they all wore when peering into the Untempered Schism. And he was smiling. Perhaps in pride of his daughter, but perhaps for another reason entirely. The resemblance was not just uncanny, it was spot on.

Donna’s father was the spitting image of one Harold Saxon, known to the Doctor and the Time Lords as the Master.


	18. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose gets offered a most unusual promotion, but will it turn out to be an offer she can't refuse?

“You’re driving me nuts, refreshing your email every three minutes. If she was going to get back to you, she would have by now. You’ve got to face it, she left us behind, just like...nevermind,” Rose said with a sigh, crossing her arms and fixing her gaze on him. It’d been months since they’d been returned back home, and the obsessive checking of his email was becoming a new Doctor quirk Rose wasn’t sure she liked.

Of course, he’d emailed her back. How could he not, after what he’d discovered? But of course he also couldn’t reveal that he knew about how Trista had died, or that Donna’s father resembled another Time Lord from his own past, or that he even knew her real name. So far, every message he’d sent begging her to please get in touch had been returned as undeliverable. Wherever Donna was, it was well off the radar. She might as well have been in another universe, and maybe she even was. Since that initial email she had sent him about taking care of business at Torchwood, there hadn’t even been a whisper of her.

“I know you’re probably right. I just...I feel so impotent like this, Rose. I’ve only got one heart, no TARDIS coral or TARDIS at all, and a load of questions for someone who may or may not be connected to someone very important from my past. Multiple someones, even. And one of those someones with the potential to be very, very dangerous. I refuse to believe it’s coincidence and I can’t just let it go, so this is all I can do. Keep trying to reach her, and hope for the best,” he muttered.

“I understand, I do. After I first lost you and came to Pete’s World for good, I dialed the TARDIS phone every day, wishing and hoping and getting about as far as you are with these emails. Eventually, I gave up doing that and focused on building the dimension cannon instead. But watching you do this is like watching someone beat their head against a brick wall until there’s nothing left but pulp. Please, you’ve got to stop. So you only have one heart and no TARDIS coral? It doesn’t matter. You’ve also only got one lifetime to live now, too, so instead of driving yourself mad...well, madder, why don’t you try to make the most of it? Besides, if you won’t go help me pick out linens for the wedding, I might have to call my mother and ask her to come and look with me, but you know she’ll want a cuppa before we even go anywhere...” Rose said, letting the threat hang there in the air. 

While Jackie and the Doctor had a much more congenial relationship now, he still made a show of trying to avoid her visits, if at all possible. He claimed she bored him, always trying to talk about reruns of EastEnders or dropping subtle hints that any day now, she’d love a grandchild. Rose maintained a private opinion that his aversion to Jackie was still largely motivated by a fear of being slapped by her. That, and she was always trying to feed him, insisting he was much too skinny.

“Threatening me with your mother will get you nowhere. Besides, she’s kind of started to lay off me a bit since I asked you to marry me,” he said, shutting the laptop and turning in the desk chair to face Rose. “Now if I could get her to stop trying to make me eat her atrocious bubble and squeak every time we stay over, I’ll say we’ve made real progress.”

“Ah, but you closed the laptop, didn’t you?” Rose teased with a smirk.

“Well, in my defense, you know I do love to shop. When we go to register for gifts, will you let me wield the little scanner gun thingy? It always looked like fun. Point, click, and presents! Well, not quite like that. But close enough. Mostly it’s the scanner gun I’m interested in, less so the presents. But who am I kidding, presents are pretty great, too...I’m babbling again, aren’t I?”

“Maybe just a little, but I’ve sort of resigned myself to the fact that a life full of you also means a life full of babbling. And I’m okay with that,” Rose said, allowing him to slip her jacket over her shoulders. 

She was just happy to have temporarily won the battle of tearing him away from the computer. If it wasn’t checking his email, it was pouring through the Penumbra Commission’s files, looking for any hint of information on Donna’s father. Something else Rose had learned about this human version of the Doctor was that he was twice as annoying when he was stuck on something. Before, when he’d had access to the TARDIS and all of her instruments, tracking down information from across the universe had been much easier and quicker. The hours of muttering, sometimes in Gallifreyan, while he hacked through files was getting rather tiresome.

“Shall we stop for chips on the way there?” he asked as they walked down the stairs, hand in hand.

“Mmm...chips. Damnit you, why do you have to tempt me? I’ll never fit into a wedding dress if you keep trying to feed me chips!” Rose exclaimed.

“Oh, come off it. I just figured neither one of us had eaten in a while, but you know..if you’re going to be like that, Mrs. Humboldt next door has started a lovely vegetable garden in the back. Maybe we could trouble her for a few carrots and some radishes,” he teased, before regarding her more seriously. “You’re lovely, you know that. A burlap sack would be lucky to be worn by Rose Tyler.”

“Shut up,” she laughed, smacking his bum and rewarding him with an exaggerated batting of her eyelashes.. “But seriously, flattery will get you everywhere.”

* * * * *

Rose couldn’t help but feel like an ill-behaved child waiting to see the headmaster. She and the Doctor had been sitting outside of the office for some time now, having no idea why the head officer of Torchwood might have called them there. Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. She had plenty of ideas why he might have called them there, but given their penchant for trouble it was going to be difficult to narrow it down. Still, for the big boss to ask to see someone personally...it usually didn’t bode well. She had been in such a good mood, too, after chips and shopping the night before. Nerves jangling, she reached out and took his hand and held it in her lap. There were a lot of things that could’ve been found out about the two of them. She could only hope whatever it was was less serious than all the terrible scenarios currently running through her mind. Next to her, he was almost frustratingly calm.

Finally, the secretary called their names. A look passed between them as they got up, and she could see the Doctor’s hand tense in his pocket, no doubt gripping the sonic tighter. His version of a security blanket, she supposed. Still, even she felt a little safer knowing he had it, as non-lethal as it tended to be.

“Right then, let’s get this over with,” he muttered gruffly, striding toward the office door. With more than mild trepidation, Rose followed behind him.

The head officer, “Please, call me Paul”, offered them drinks and exchanged pleasantries before they had even sat down. The Doctor raised his eyebrows at Rose, but she could only shake her head. She was just as lost as he was. If this was the calm before the storm of suspension or termination, than it was quite strange indeed.

“Please, make yourselves comfortable,” Paul said, sipping his scotch from behind his monstrous desk, which appeared to be made of some foreign rock material. It shined and gleamed different colors where the light hit it, but otherwise appeared to be flat and black. It was fascinating, really.

Rose took a seat in a carved wooden desk chair, but the Doctor remained standing behind her, one hand locked protectively on her shoulder. The head officer gave him a bemused look, but proceeded on.

“Do either of you have any idea why I called you down here?” he asked. The two of them shook their heads, indicating that they did not. “Very well, I’ll tell you. Torchwood, like the Universe, is always expanding. Expanding our knowledge, our collections, our arsenals, our experts. This year though, we’ve decided it may be time to extend our facilities, and with extended facilities means extended staff. That’s where you two come in. Intrigued?”

“Well, of course we are,” Rose answered, perhaps a little too quickly. Paul seemed not to notice.

“Well, the facility in question is a recently acquired property. It’s a small island off the coast of Scandinavia, used to be a mining town. Everyone upped and disappeared one day though, no idea where they went. Some people say the mine dried up and the people just left as a natural end result of that happening, and then of course there are the local stories. It was a ghost town, sitting and rotting until we came and snapped it up in a land auction. Got a nice price on it too, I might add. We want to clean it up and make it a base for researching nautical anomalies. Since it’s right in the middle of the ocean, it would be easy to boat in equipment and get it set up and running. Rose, we’d like you to oversee this new facility, starting with cleaning it up and getting it Torchwood operational. We know you two are a package deal though, so we thought Dr. Smith could go along to help translate, since many of the locals in the more secluded coastal villages don’t speak English. We figure he could be that branch’s Head of Language and Communications.”

“Are you taking the piss?” Rose blurted out. At the same time, the Doctor asked, “What local stories?”

The head officer looked bemusedly back and forth between the two of them, trying to decide which one of them to answer first. Evidently deeming Rose’s response more sarcastic than anything, he began by addressing the Doctor.

“Oh, you know how these old superstitious folk are. Some of them still worship the old gods, interestingly enough. The longer places stay abandoned, the more the stories change until even the truth is lost. Many say it’s haunted. But no Rose, I’m not taking the piss. You’ve been a dedicated and invaluable employee for years now. This would be a promotion, one with a substantial raise, I might add,” he said, leaning back in his chair and spreading his palms across the top of the desk.

“So what’s the catch?” she asked, still incredulous.

“Does there have to be a catch, Miss Tyler?”

“There’s always a catch. Why would I give up my life here, when my family and my home are here? What the hell am I going to do in the middle of an island off of Scandinavia, chase penguins?”

“Penguins aren’t exactly indigenous to Scandinavia, Rose...” the Doctor mumbled quietly.

“Shut up!” she hissed back at him. “I’m making a point.”

“Well I’ll admit, it’s a bit...desolate,” Paul said resignedly. “But only because it’s uninhabited. The mountains are quite beautiful, although small for that region. But the island is almost an hour by boat from land, and while you’re getting the facility up and running you’ll need to live on the island. You can go on shore leave, of course, but it wouldn’t necessarily be practical to do it on a daily basis. Once we get the facility up and running, we hope to be able to start running a private ferry to make daily trips.”

“There were an awful lot of buts in that description. But, but, but. Not exactly a stunning endorsement. How long do you expect it will take to get this facility ‘Torchwood operational’, as you put it?” Rose asked. Helpfully, the Doctor mimed air quotes next to her.

“A year, maybe more. You’ll take a crew with you, of course, maybe two dozen or so from here. We’re hoping you can pick up some locals once you’re there who might know the lay of land, or rather the sea I suppose in this case. Although it might be difficult, given the stories associated with the island. You two could charm the knickers off a nun though, so if anyone can scare up some decent recruits I’m sure it’s you.”

“You mentioned something of a ‘substantial raise’ a few minutes ago. Exactly how substantial would we be talking?”

“How substantial would it need to be for you to say yes?” Paul asked, raising an eyebrow in obvious amusement.

Rose cast a glance at the Doctor, who only shrugged noncommittally. The one damn time he’d choose to keep his mouth shut...

“Well, I guess it would depend. You never did say exactly where this island is, anyway. Scandinavia is kind of a broad term.”

“The island is off the Western coast of Norway. Bergen is the closest major city, but even that’s still fifty miles or so from the area we would use as our mainland post. Kind of a weird name, though maybe not for the Norwegians, it’s a place called Dårlig Ulv Stranden. It’s Norwegian for-”

“Bad Wolf Bay,” Rose and the Doctor both echoed, each casting a sidelong glance at the other.

“So you know of it, then. There’s been rift activity there before, we can only hope that may hold true at some point in the future. The island can practically only be reached by boat, and the route from Bad Wolf Bay is the easiest and least dangerous. Interested?”

“Maybe,” Rose said carefully, drawing the syllables out. “But surely you don’t expect an answer right now? We’d need to talk about it with our family, think it over some.”

“Certainly. I know you’re the spontaneous type, but I wasn’t expecting an immediate answer either way. Why don’t you take the weekend to think about it? I can arrange a visit to the island before you accept, so you can see what you’ll be getting yourself into, if you’d like. But we can talk about logistics on Monday, after you’ve had some time to digest,” Paul said, guiding them to the door.

“Yeah, Monday. Monday’s good,” Rose said weakly. The head director shot her a funny look, but said nothing as he shut the door behind them.


	19. Decisions to Be Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie is none too thrilled at the prospect of Rose swanning off to Norway, and she makes sure she and the Doctor know it. But an unexpected turn of events may see that Jackie gets her wish after all...?

“Oh, no. Really, Rose? Bloody Norway? It’s not enough that you kept me up at nights worried about you riding around in the TARDIS, now that you’ve finally chosen to settle down you want to do it in the middle of a haunted island, thousands of miles away from your old mum. What about your wedding? What about your baby brother?”

Jackie Tyler was not amused.

“A deserted island, Mum. It’s a little silent and spooky, but that’s because no one has been living there for a while. Once we get everything set up and running, it’ll be much better. Besides, you didn’t really think I’d always live just around the corner, did you? You had to expect we’d go traveling some time, even if it was just around the world instead of around the universe,” Rose said gently. “Besides, the island is big. Big enough for a small airstrip, at anyrate. Within the first year or so we should be able to have one up and running, even if it’s a bit makeshift. Until then you can fly into Bergen, drive and take a boat.”

“And Tony? What about him? He’ll be devastated to not have his big sister and Doctor Johnny around. Who’s going to put my toaster back together when he takes it apart to figure out how it works?” Jackie asked, stabbing her fork into her steak with marked aggression.

“Now you’re just making up excuses. I’m going to Norway, not Raxacoricofallapatorius. We’ll see each other at least once a month, maybe more depending on how often I’ll need to report back to the home office in person,” Rose replied, trying not to let the frustration she felt creep into her voice.

“What about the wedding?” Jackie huffed, throwing her arms up.

“What about it?” the Doctor interjected.

“How are you going to plan it from Norway when you’ll be stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere?” Jackie demanded.

“I imagine we’ll manage. Maybe we’ll just get married in Norway, on the beach at Bad Wolf Bay,” he said teasingly, taking maybe a bit too much pleasure in the way his future mother-in-law’s face blanched when he made the suggestion.

“Actually, I think that’s a great idea,” Rose said, garnering surprised looks from everyone at the table, including Pete, who had been tuning out for most of the argument. There was no use trying to get in the middle of an argument between two Tyler women, he’d learned that the hard way before.

“Sweetheart, why there? Why after everything that happened?” Pete asked. “We could throw you a lovely wedding here, big and fancy as you’d like.”

“But why, dad? Why spend all that money? Invite just the people who matter, the people who actually know everything and understand what him and I have gone through to get to this point. Why not go back to the place where it all started? Where I lost my old Doctor and gained a new one. Bad Wolf Bay doesn’t have to be a place of bad memories for me, not anymore. I don’t want to go there and think about the worst day of my life, so why not be there on what will hopefully be one of the best,” Rose said softly, squeezing the Doctor’s hand as she did. Even he looked a little misty around the eyes.

Even Jackie Tyler couldn’t counter that argument. She pursed her lips, but nodded curtly. She hated acquiescing, but Rose had her point and at the end of the day Rose’s happiness mattered the most to her.

“You’re sure that’s what you want, Rose? Because you came so far for this...I want to make sure it’s all exactly as you’d like. I think you deserve that,” the Doctor said, looking her in the eyes.

“I’m sure. No matter what the day will be perfect because I’ve got you. And you...you’re more than just the Doctor. When he could only say ‘quite right, too’, you told me you loved me and you’ve shown me that every day since we’ve returned, even if there were some days that I couldn’t always show you. You’ve loved me unconditionally, even if I didn’t deserve it, not at first. You are everything the Doctor was, everything I loved about him...but you’re human, too. Just that little bit extra. And that’s why you’re so much better. It feels wrong to keep calling you Doctor. So impersonal. You’re going to be my husband! It feels surreal, to say that out loud. But it’s true...” she said earnestly, cupping his cheek in her hand. 

She had temporarily forgotten where she was, that other people were there watching them. She barely even noticed when Jackie and Pete quietly excused themselves from the table. She wasn’t sure what had been the catalyst for that sudden outpouring, but she was glad. She had seen the impact of her words in his eyes, seen the smile that had formed on his face. He had always loved her, but he had doubted sometimes whether or not she loved this him, the him that was the Doctor but not quite. Now there were no doubts.

“Call me John. Or husband. Or lover. Or friend. Or all of the above. Call me whatever you want Rose Tyler, because I don’t care. A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and a Doctor by any other name is still a Doctor. I just want to take care of you Rose, the way you took care of me. Not many Time Lords can say they were saved by a human. And not many humans would be willing to stare into the heart of the Vortex itself to save another. Or to cross worlds to find and save me again. You’re just bloody extraordinary, and I love you,” he said fiercely, swiping at the tears he was surprised to find trickling from the corners of his eyes.

Rose searched for words to respond to his declaration, but she couldn’t. Instead, she wrapped her fingers around his tie and pulled him to her. His lips pressed against her own and it felt so right, like a key opening the lock it was always meant for. After one very long moment, he pulled away and cocked an eye around the dining room. It was deserted, but he could hear the rattle of the wooden cart the serving staff used to collect the dishes. Their moment was about to be interrupted.

“You want to get out of here...John?” Rose whispered huskily in his ear.

“Yes. Yes, I do!” he declared, grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet as he stood. Giggling like school children, the two of them slipped out the door onto the veranda and down the stairs to the back garden, where their car was parked.  
“You drive,” Rose said, thrusting the keys into his hand as she climbed into the passenger side. He cocked an eyebrow up at her in disbelief. Rose almost never wanted him to drive. Although to her credit, he suppose he didn’t blame her. His track record for smooth landings was spotty at best.

“Are you sure?” he asked, hanging on the driver’s side door.

“You know, right now your questions are the only thing standing between us and the bedroom. So drive,” she said shortly.

“Point taken,” he quipped, sliding the keys into the ignition hastily. With a jerk he pulled the clutch into reverse and backed out onto the main driveway. Rose laughed as he abruptly threw it back into drive and set the top to fold down, all in one smooth motion. He grinned back at Rose as they sped off down the road towards their flat. “I’ve gotten much better at this.”

Jackie and Pete Tyler stood out on the veranda, looking down at the disappearing lights of Rose’s car. Jackie was holding a glass of red wine, which was lamentably nearing empty.

“She’s going to bloody Norway, isn’t she?” Jackie said glumly, draining the rest of her glass and setting it down on the railing.

“I’m afraid it looks like it, my love. But she’ll manage. They’ll both manage it together. You worry too much,” he said, sipping his own wine slowly. “Norway is nowhere near as dangerous as the Dalek Crucible. And before you even try to protest, just think of how I felt when all that was going on with just Tony, wondering if you two and Mickey were going to return. It’s her life, Jackie. You have to let her live it as she would, not as you would have her.” There was a long, silent moment where Pete stared into his wine glass and wondered if he was about to get slapped.

“Who’s side are you on, anyway?” Jackie asked, disappearing in a huff. But she didn’t sound angry, just resigned. Pete watched Rose’s lights disappear over the hill before following his wife back inside.

* * * * *

Rose was on fire.

In the twilight semi-darkness of their bedroom, she couldn’t fumble her fingers over the buttons of her dress quickly enough. She hadn’t had any wine, but she still felt giddy. John unbuttoned his shirt and flung it to the floor, and then came to her. Gently, he brushed her fingers aside and unbuttoned the dress for her with deft sureness. For a moment his gaze lingered on her half-clothed form. Underneath the dress she was wearing a bra and knickers, but also suspenders. She knew he had a thing for them. His gaze lingered the longest on her breasts though, which looked like they were about to overflow out of her skimpy balconette. He slipped the dress off her shoulders and let it pool around her on the floor before moving to unhook her bra. Pressed against her, his fingers moving quickly over hooks and loops, she felt him growing hard against her and felt a rush of warmth from inside. He stepped back to admire her, naked but for her stockings and suspenders.

One thing he had always loved about Rose was how comfortable she was with herself. She was no waif. She’d have her chips over a salad and a tiny waist any day, and he loved that about her. All woman, Rose Tyler was more lush and curvaceous now than she’d been as a girl of nineteen. She’d grown up, filled in and filled out. She had no hour glass figure, but she had wide hips, legs that kept on going, and in the immortal words of Lady Cassandra, ‘a nice rear bumper’. That was to say nothing of what was going on above the waist, which was perhaps his favorite bit. Rose had lovely breasts, perfect round globes of luscious creamy flesh, which were currently flushed with desire and standing at attention. The look in her eyes was all the invitation he needed. He shoved her down onto the bed with the urgency of a man going off to war. His lips pressed against her own, and his hands between them were tugging her knickers over her hips. The suspenders snapped off as he pulled her knickers, leaving her in just her thigh highs. 

In the dying light of the evening’s setting sun, his grin looked nothing short of wolfish. She saw so many things there. Fear and desire, lust and want, uncertainty and anxiety. But then he was kneeling between her thighs, filling her body and mind utterly with himself. He whispered to her in Gallifreyan, words she didn’t understand and yet knew to mean that he loved her. He couldn’t seem to have enough of her lately.

Rose didn’t mind in the slightest.

* * * * *

Rose and John were sitting in the head director’s office again, waiting to be briefed. The decision to go had been made rather quickly, before they’d even gone to see the island in person, really. They were both craving the change of scenery. With the TARDIS coral gone and no sign of Jayne/Donna, they couldn’t wait for adventure to find them but rather had to make their own. They’d had their physicals, they’d packed their bags, they’d said most of their goodbyes, albeit temporary. Now they were just waiting for the final go-ahead, and all the pieces to fall into place.

Paul finally came bustling into the office, a sheaf of papers clutched in his hands. He looked moderately frazzled, which was apparently a somewhat normal state of being for him. He sat down at his desk, muttering incoherently to himself all the while. Rose and John exchanged uncomfortable glances, wondering what was causing the state of upset. It was not an unfair assumption to think it was related to their upcoming trip.

“Well kids, we may have run into a slight hiccup. Well, maybe not a hiccup. Apparently, something popped up on Rose’s physical. I don’t have a problem carrying on as planned, and modifying as necessary, but I understand if you guys don’t want to go anymore,” he said in a rush of words.

“What do you mean? What popped up on my physical?” Rose asked, feeling a mounting feeling of panic rising in her stomach. She gripped John’s hang tightly, but she could sense that he was just as scared now as she was. After all, they were both only human. Mostly.

“Maybe the Doctor should be the one to give you the news. If you’ll excuse me for a moment,” he said, getting up from his desk. He slid the sheaf of papers into John’s hand and bustled back out the door. Rose stared after him, taken aback by the strangeness of the whole exchange. Next to her, he was shuffling through the papers, reading silently and intently. The look on his face was unreadable as he appeared to pause and read the same page over several times.

“What? What is it?” she asked, hearing her own fear in the hollowness of her voice.

“Rose,” he said quietly, taking off his glasses and tucking them into his pocket. “You’re pregnant.”


	20. An Oncoming Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and John do not seem to be on the same page regarding their big secret.

Rose was staring at the nearing shape of the island through the fog. The sea was choppy though, a storm having recently passed through the area. Watching the top of the mountain swim up and down in her vision was enough to send her already sour stomach roiling. She turned to go back inside and caught sight of her reflection in the high polished shine of the window. Her face was drawn and pale, and tinged green. She wasn’t going to make it to the loo. She spun back towards the railing and turned her head just in time to lose her breakfast over the side of the boat.

“Are you alright, Miss Tyler?” one of the new recruits asked, a boy of nineteen named Petr. There was genuine concern in his eyes. She smiled. He seemed nice. And she did miss seeing Pete at work every day.

“Oh, quite alright. A touch of sea sickness, that’s all,” she said, forcing a smile. “That, and I’m still not sure how I feel about fish for breakfast. Suppose I’ll get used to it. Probably should’ve skipped the milk with the tea, now that I think about it...”

“Oh,” he said, blinking owlishly at her. ‘Well, feel better Miss Tyler.” He disappeared back inside the crew cabin.

Miserably, Rose slunk away towards the middle of the ship, to the makeshift private cabin they’d provided. Because of the storm and some nasty currents, they’d had to take a much longer route back to the island than planned. The trip would take close to four hours, instead of only one, as it normally did. Rose was convinced she would die before then. They’d set up a cot inside a large storage closet for the time being. At least they’d temporarily relocated all the cleaning supplies, but the room was damp and dreary and smelled slightly of mildew. It was doing nothing to help either her motion sickness or her morning sickness. She collapsed onto the cot, next to which John sat reading a book on local history and custom. He pushed his glasses up to rest on his head and smiled at her when she came in. The smile faded when he saw the expression on her face.

“Are you alright?” he asked, sliding onto the edge of the cot to sit next to her. He stroked her hair softly and carefully. Being with Rose lately had been a bit of a roller coaster ride, for both of them. Unsurprisingly, her emotions were all over the place; mostly guilt over the secret they were concealing. She’d made Paul swear he’d keep her pregnancy a secret from Pete and everyone else. If Jackie Tyler had been unhappy about Rose’s leaving before, a baby certainly wouldn’t have helped her feel better.

“No, I’m not. I’m already regretting this. It was a terrible idea!” she cried, bursting into tears. He continued to stroke her hair softly, but said nothing. She’d been fine the entire time, until now. He knew what he was thinking, but he was terrified of saying it.

“Just take a deep breath, Rose. Try to sleep, if you can. You’ll feel better when you have both feet on solid ground again, I suspect.”

“I can’t do this. I can’t, Doctor,” she said, slipping back into the name like a bad habit. “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this motherhood thing...”

“Don’t say that, Rose. You’ll be an excellent mother. I mean, if that’s what you want,” he said, hesitantly. He still wasn’t totally sure where Rose stood with everything right now. Blimey, he wasn’t sure where he stood himself. In the adrenaline rush of the move to Norway, they’d barely had time to do anything but eat, sleep, and breathe Torchwood’s Ghost Town. Rose’s pregnancy was the elephant in the room that neither one of them had really confronted since they’d landed, but that was only because they literally had spent every waking moment in the past two weeks working. At the end of the day she had just enough energy to shower and have a cup of camomile tea before collapsing into bed. At just shy of two months she wasn’t yet showing, although he of course couldn’t help but notice that her bottom was rounder, and her face and breasts more full. They wouldn’t be able to keep the secret for too much longer, and once their staff knew it would be impossible to keep concealing the fact from Rose’s family.

That was what he was dreading. Telling Jackie and Pete would make it all seem real. Right now it still felt a bit like a dream that was happening to someone else, and that was okay. That was just fine. He swallowed hard, remembering his dreams from the night before. He’d seen Susan’s face, heard her pleading voice telling him she belonged with him. He’d seen Jenny’s face, and the fear in her eyes as she had stared up at him, dying. And he’d seen the face of his own blood daughter, and even now he couldn’t bear to think her name or speak it out loud, for he was full of such sorrow and regret. He had been so young and foolish, so Time Lord stoic when it had come to rearing his own children. She had been such a sweet-natured girl, too, and it crushed his heart to think that she had died without knowing how proud he was of her, and how much he had loved her. That was always the thing that came back to haunt him though, all across time and space. No matter what, no matter when, he never could tell people he loved them when it mattered. Like when they were around to hear it. Or alive to hear it, for that matter. He had to convince himself that stoic man wasn’t him anymore-that was the Doctor. He was John Smith, and he was part human, and capable of so much more...

“John? Hello, Earth to John,” Rose said crossly.

“Hmm? I’m sorry, I was lost in thought, I wasn’t paying attention,” he said with chagrin.

“Yeah, I noticed. You looked like you were a million light years away,” Rose said, a hint of irritation in her voice.

“Well I was. Figuratively speaking, anyway. I was thinking of my dead daughters, and how much guilt and regret I have over what happened to them. And they both died millions of light years from here, in a completely different universe. One of them took a bullet to save my life, and the other died as a direct result of my actions.. I don’t think I ever told either of them that I loved them, but I did and all I can do is hope that they knew that,” he said, in a matter-of-fact gush of information. Rose gaped at him, gobsmacked.

“Oh my God. That’s awful. That’s...terrible!” she exclaimed, bursting into a fresh bout of tears. 

“Yes, it was awful. And terrible. And just a moment ago I was thinking to myself that I never want to feel that way about another child of mine ever again,” he said seriously, taking her by the shoulders.

“So I guess that’s your way of saying that you want this baby,” Rose said, curling one arm protectively around her abdomen.

“I want whatever you want,” he replied simply.

“That’s the problem. I don’t know what I want,” she sighed, sagging back against the cot. “You’re no help at all. This isn’t just my decision, you know. This is your baby, too. It’s our baby.”

“Our baby,” he repeated, thinking that did feel a bit more real. And terrifying. He didn’t have time to say anything else because three quick, sharp raps came at the door. He involuntarily cringed, waiting for a fourth knock that thankfully didn’t come.

“Guys? ‘Ello? Sorry to bother you, but we’re coming up on the island now. Shouldn’t be but five more minute,” Jake said from the other side of the door.  
Rose and him both exchanged a glance. How much had Jake heard, if anything? They loved him, but Jake loved Pete, too. Rose threw open the door, perhaps a little too hastily. Her face was still pink and puffy from crying, and her mascara was smeared. Only a complete simpleton would miss the obvious signs of her upset.

Jake took a step back when Rose threw the door open, and peered at her curiously. “I’m not interrupting something, am I?”

“No, not at all. Just feeling a little sea sick today. This storm is whipping us around something fierce,” she said, her voice hollow. With her eyes, she silently pleaded to him not to press the issue or ask any questions. She was so tired, she didn’t think she’d have the strength to lie to someone she considered friend if he asked her more directly what was going on.

Jake surveyed her briefly, but mercifully decided not to question her further. He merely nodded at her and ducked back around the corner. With a relieved sigh, Rose closed the door and leaned up against it. She rubbed carefully at her eyes, smoothed down her hair, and took a few deep breaths.

“Putting on your game face?” he asked.

“You know it,” she said, mustering a smile. “There’s still work to be done. No rest for the wicked, John.”

“You don’t have to be the one who does the work all the time, Rose. And you certainly aren’t wicked,” he chided gently. “You’re running yourself ragged. It’s not good for you. Or the baby. Our baby.”

“Our baby. Is that it then? Our next adventure is baby makes three? Are we actually doing this?” she asked, to no one in particular. She didn’t really expect an answer.

“Only if you want to,” he reiterated. “But you do want to, don’t you? You said you wouldn’t mind settling down. I know this isn’t a cottage with a white picket fence, but I will build you one if that would make you happy.”

“I don’t care about all that. What if it’s too soon? What if we aren’t ready? What if this changes everything?”

“It is too soon. Of course we aren’t ready, either, but I’ll tell you what I wasn’t ready the first time I became a parent, and that was over 700 years ago. No one is ever ready, and yes, it changes everything. But you should know as well as anyone that change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Maybe this is what Rose Tyler and John Smith do now. Home is wherever you are, Rose. No TARDIS necessary.”

The boat was coming alive around them as their restless crew members got ready to disembark. Four hours didn’t seem so long until you were all crammed on a tiny boat together. She wiped her eyes one more time. “We ought to get out there, you know.”

His heart sank a little, as she did nothing to acknowledge his show of faith. “Quite right, too.” She shot him a funny look, but disappeared back onto the deck. He stared after the spot where Rose had been only a moment before and shook his head. Everything was already changing, whether they wanted it to or not.

He just hoped their ship could weather the storm.


	21. This Underlying Feeling of Dread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strange is happening on the island, and the locals think it's ghosts. John, Jake and Rose are determined to find the true explanation, but they might get more than they bargained for.

It was warm in the small cottage, and still smelled of the roast they’d had for dinner that night. That, and the cup of tea were making Rose feel delightfully soporific. John had built her a fire before heading back down into the mountain bunker to help set up equipment, and the warm glow was making her contemplate sleep over the thick stack of notes and paperwork she needed to transcribe and send back home. Since he only required two or three hours of sleep a night, he’d been working over time so that she wouldn’t have to, doing the jobs she would trust to no one else to get done properly. Jake and him together were becoming what she secretly thought of as the Dream Team, accomplishing one task and moving to the next with hardly a moment for tea and biscuits. Things were progressing faster than any of them could have hoped, and it had only been just over a month and a half they’d been there.

An urgent knock at the door shook her from her sleepy musings. Hastily, she threw John’s bulky bathrobe on over her nightgown and belted it loosely around herself. The thin, sheer fabric of the ill-fitting nightgown unfortunately did nothing to conceal her condition, a fact she had noted glumly while looking at herself in the mirror earlier. Her breasts spilled out of the top of the cups, and the empire waistline of the gown only accentuated the slight rounded curve of her belly. She was going to have to buy new clothes on their next shore leave. Until then, she would be wearing lots of sweaters, seasonally appropriate or not. Thankfully, Norway was relatively cool even during spring and summer, so her odd clothing choices were not actually so odd. A bit frumpy perhaps, but not necessarily out of the ordinary.

The knock came again, this time louder than the last. “Keep your trousers on, I’m coming!” she muttered crossly. She peered out the curtains to see Jake standing on the porch, and sighed. If he was disturbing her at home at this time of night, there had to be a good reason. And good reasons were usually associated with bad things happening. She steeled herself and opened the door.

“Sorry to bother you at home Rose, but there’s been an incident with two of the crew members and they’re requesting to go on shore leave immediately and indefinitely. John is talking with them over in their rooms now, but I think you better come too. Whatever it was, it evidently spooked them quite badly,” he said breathlessly, obviously having run from somewhere.

“Well come inside, I guess. I can’t go parading down to the dorms in a bathrobe and a nightgown. What exactly happened?,” she asked, ushering him inside before disappearing into the bedroom and shutting the door

“I’m not really clear on the details myself,” he called to her from the hallway. “They weren’t really making any sense, honestly. They kept insisting they had seen a ghost. It’s all a little unsettling, honestly. I thought these two seemed more level-headed than that when we interviewed them. They’re not even religious, let alone superstitious.”

“Who was it?” she asked from the other side of the door.

“The twins, Dag and Finn. They were doing a salvage over in the old church, and they apparently heard something in the cemetery. When they went outside to investigate the sound was when they supposedly saw this ghost. That’s all I managed to get from them, really. Doesn’t make any bloody sense. Maybe John and you will have better luck.”

“Maybe,” she replied, ducking out the bedroom door. She was dressed in jeans and trainers, and a heavy cardigan over a button down shirt. She grabbed her coat by the front door and threw it on before stepping out onto the porch and locking them out.

“It’s not actually that cold outside tonight. You’ll probably be sweating in that before we get down the hill,” he warned.

“Well maybe I’ve just gone cold-blooded since coming here. It’s still a bit chilly for me. Didn’t you see I had a fire going in there? Never mind all that anyway, let’s go,” she said, striding carefully down the incline towards the smattering of buildings that housed the rest of the staff and crew.

“Rose, I don’t know who you think you’re fooling. I see the way he looks at you, how tender and sweet he is with you. You haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in weeks, you’ve been dressing funny, he won’t let you lift anything that weighs more than a loaf of bread, and you haven’t gone to see your parents or talked to your mum in weeks. Come on now, I’ve known you for too long. I thought we were friends. I know how to connect the dots myself, I just wish you felt you could be honest with me after dragging me across another continent,” he said with no malice in his voice.

“Jake...please, now isn’t the time to be talking about my personal life. You know how little time John and I actually get to spend together, one on one? We don’t even have time to talk about our personal lives with each other!” she huffed in response.

“If you’d just be honest with everyone, maybe we could help make things easier on you. You could be spending more time with John, if you’d just let us help you,” Jake said earnestly.  
Rose stopped to look at him outside the door of the house dorm where Dag and Finn were staying. “Is my pregnancy fodder for the Torchwood gossip mill then? As if there aren’t better, more important things to be talking about.”

Jake blinked and his eyes got wide. “Is that it then, you’re pregnant? Blimey Rose, I thought you were sick! I thought you had cancer or something, as tight-lipped about everything as you were being. I had no idea. I’m so relieved...”

“Great. How’s about this? You forget we had this whole conversation, you don’t say ANYTHING to Pete or my mum, and you don’t talk to anyone else about it. I can’t believe you actually thought I had cancer or something! Cancer? Really? Who else knows about this, or thinks they know?”

“No one. I mean, I haven’t said anything to anyone. I tried to talk to John about it, but he’s three times more evasive than you and a dozen times more clever than me, so that got nowhere. I’ve just been worried, that’s all. I think some of the home team wonders if something is going on with you, but the locals of course don’t know any better or different,” he said, jamming his hands into his pockets as he did.

“Well, let’s keep it that way. Life is strange right now, Jake. If you’d asked me a year ago where I’d be now, this is probably the last place I’d have thought possible. Yet here I am, with a man who’s even more impossible than all this. I am utterly terrified. And exhilarated. And exhausted. And so, so happy...  
But underneath all that, all the good and bad things, there’s this underlying feeling of dread. Like when you’re walking down the stairs in total darkness and you misstep, there’s that sick feeling when you expect your foot to connect with solid ground and instead only encounter the air. It throws you off balance. That’s kind of how I feel sometimes. Like I’m waiting to hit solid ground or have something knock me to it.   
John told me a storm was coming, and I think he’s right because he always is. The last time he told me a storm was coming he was the Doctor. Then came Torchwood, the Cybermen, the Daleks...the Void. All that. And I lost him. Forever, ultimately. Because even when I fought my way across the universe to find him, he turned his back on me again.   
I love John, more than anything or anyone. I can’t imagine life without him. He’s the Doctor, but he’s not...and that’s what’s so wonderful and terrible about him. He’s different. He’s human though, just human enough to tell me he loves me instead of saying ‘Quite right, too’. That’s what I think about, when I feel nostalgic. John tells me he loves me every day. As intimate as the Doctor and I were...he never did. Never once did he tell me in those words that he loved me. I suppose he did, in his own way, but I’ll never really know. Because as much as I love John and can’t imagine being without him...I don’t know how the Doctor could walk away from me like that. Not if he really loved me. I saved worlds with him, saved people and families, and relationships. He would tear Time itself apart to right a wrong, if he thought he had to. But when I pulled the universe apart to get to him...he walked away. I can’t help but wonder sometimes what he would do if he knew. About the baby, I mean. Not like I want him to break the universe apart, because I don’t. But if a rose isn’t worth tearing apart worlds for why would a rosebud be either?” Rose sobbed quietly.

Jake just stared at her, gobsmacked. He pulled her into a fierce hug, then hastily thought better of it and released her. “Have you told John all this? Because if you haven’t, you really should. I mean, I’m more than happy to listen any time you want to bend my ear. We’re mates, and I love you. But that was quite the outpouring there. Seemed like maybe you had things bottled up some...”

“He knows,” Rose said evenly.

“That wasn’t really what I asked you, but okay. I can’t tell you what to do. But I’m here for you, you know. You can talk to me anytime-”

“Were you two planning on having social hour out here all night, or were you planning to come deal with the extremely important and bizarre task at hand?” John interrupted, poking his head out through the windows behind them.

Rose jumped, startled. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to know that you weren’t discussing how delicious the roast I prepared was,” he replied, raising an eyebrow at her. Rose looked down uncomfortably.

“Jake, I’m glad you’re back. After hearing the twins’ story, I think a little investigation up at the old boneyard is warranted. But the ferry is on the way, and I think one of us ought to be there to meet it. Rose, maybe you stand half a chance of convincing Dag and Finn to stay, but if not just see them to the ferry?”

“Hold on. Why do you get to go investigating and I have to stay and try to convince them not to leave when I have no idea what even happened? I barely grasp Norwegian. What am I going to say to them that you wouldn’t have?” she asked.

“Come now. I know I’ve got the gob that never stops, but you, Rose Tyler, have the heart. People listen to you because they like you. You know me. For every person that likes me, there’s a dozen more than think I’m up to no good. Besides, it’s safer here,” he said, giving her a meaningful look, one that urged her not to press the issue.

Rose sighed in defeat. “You usually are up to no good! But alright, I’ll try to talk to them while I walk them to the ferry. How’s about that? If I can’t convince them in the time it takes to get from here to there, than it probably can’t be done. You and Jake go investigate. But you better be careful too, Mister,” she warned, reluctant to let go of his hand. She let him plant a kiss on the crown of her forehead before he bounded back up the hill with Jake at his side. Through the window she could see Dag and Finn tossing their things hastily into bags, and evidently arguing with each other. With a heavy sigh, she pulled the door open and walked inside.

* * * * *

John and Jake were striding towards the decrepit old churchyard with some urgency when John’s mobile began to shriek like a sounding alarm.

“What in God’s name is all that about, mate?” Jake asked, gesturing at the phone as John stopped to peer at it.

“It’s Jackie calling. Don’t think I’d better answer that right now,” he said, punching the button to ignore the call. Jake just gaped at him.

“You sure that’s wise? You know how she gets...” Jake said, his voice trailing off. There was no need for exposition on the temperament of Rose’s mother when she was cross.

“Yeah, I know. I feel bad, we really haven’t talked to her lately and I’m sure she wants to know how things are going and what’s been happening, but now is just not good,” John replied, moving to slide the device back into his pocket. It chirped and buzzed at him, indicating he had a text message. The little envelope icon flashed menacingly on his screen, and he reluctantly tapped to open it.

“U’d better answer me or so help me God I will b on the next plane 2 Norway!!!!!” the angry message read. He grimaced, hearing Jackie yelling this at him in his mind. Once more the phone began to trill, announcing the incoming call from Jackie. 

“You’d probably better answer that. The churchyard will have to wait for a moment, because Lord knows Hurricane Jackie won’t,” Jake warned, turning towards the trees to give John some privacy.

“Hello?” John said into the phone, wearing an expression much like that of a cat who’s realized it squeezed itself in somewhere it probably shouldn’t have.

“Well it’s about bloody time one of you lot answered one of my phone calls! I’ve only been calling every other day for the last month or so, and if I’m graced with an answer it’s only long enough to put me off! What the hell is going on over on that island, Doctor, because I know my daughter and I know she wouldn’t avoid me without good bloody reason!”

John winced, and held the phone away from his ear a bit. “Nothing’s going on, Jackie. We’ve just been working overtime, trying to get things set up. Besides, if we can make progress on the airstrip, it would be easier for you to come visit us here on the island. Wouldn’t that be lovely?”

There was only silence on the other end, as Jackie seemed to be weighing what he’d said. Finally, there was an intake of breath and the sound of the phone dropping. “Pete! Please book me that flight to Bergen!”

“Jackie, no!” he exclaimed, slamming his fist against his thigh in frustration. “You’re being silly. There’s no need for you to come out here right now. Besides, there’s supposed to be a rash of summer storms coming, so getting out to the island isn’t going to be safe.”

“You’re lying to me. I’ve already looked into this, there’s no storms coming. You think I’m stupid? I knew you had to be lying to me when you started going on about that airstrip, and wouldn’t it be lovely if I could come visit? You and I have never seen eye to eye when it came to Rose, but we at least have the love of her in common so please just tell me what’s going,” Jackie demanded.

“Rose is pregnant,” he blurted out without thinking. There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line, but no response. For once, Jackie Tyler had been rendered speechless. Perhaps he should’ve let her in on the secret sooner...

“What?” Jackie asked, sounding as though she were uncertain she’d heard him properly the first time.

“Rose is pregnant. No one knows, and we’re trying to keep it that way. She’s been nervous, you know, about the possibility of things going wrong. She’s scared. I’m sorry we’ve been keeping it from you, but it was what she wanted it and I told her I’d respect whatever decision she made. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry she hasn’t said anything to you. And I promise I’ll talk to her about it, try to get her to call you herself. But please Jackie, promise me you’ll keep quiet and let her be the one to reach out to you when she’s ready. I let you in on the secret, but she will KILL me if she knows I told you, so please just keep it quiet. I trust you by letting you, can you at least promise me you won’t tell anyone else in return?” he asked, already feeling a slight panicky regret.

“What about Pete? I can’t not tell him! He’ll know that I know something. You know how it is,” she insisted.

“So tell Pete. You will anyway, regardless of what I say. But please, please Jackie just beg him not to tell anyone else either. I’m trying to do right by Rose and respect her, but I’m trying to respect you too, because you are my future mother-in-law and I do like you, but I will deny that to anyone who asks. I have a reputation to uphold, after all. Please...Mum?”

“Oh good Lord. Only if YOU promise to never call me Mum again. And talk to Rose.”

“Done,” he said, hanging up the phone. Jake was standing over by a copse of trees, whistling tunelessly. “Well, come on then.”

Jake and John set back along the path up to the church. Neither one of them noticed the hooded figure watching intently from the woods.

* * * * *

Dag and Finn were apparently not the talkative type. Rose had gently coaxed them to tell her what had really happened, but they had only shaken their heads and grown quiet. Finn finally remarked that John already knew what there was to know. Both of them seem tired. Now she was reluctantly walking with them down to where the ferry would be waiting. She wasn’t sure who had called for the ferry, because this wasn’t normal operations. There was so much it seemed like she didn’t know right now. There was a twinge of regret as she thought of her tea and fire growing cold, and she wished that she was back home in the cottage, warm in bed with John beside her.

The path to the docks was rocky and especially treacherous at night. The moonlight struggled to pierce through the thick cover of clouds. Rose shivered a little, though it wasn’t cold. There was something in the air, an electricity. Sure enough, the storm was coming.

“Please,” she implored. “Just wait until tomorrow morning. It’s not safe. The storm could come at any moment, and you don’t want to be caught out on the open water when it does.”

“We’ve grown up here. We’re no strangers to this land or the storms, as you are. We will manage. The real danger is here on this island. Our parents warned us about this place, and they were right. It’s cursed, and you’d be wise to leave it yourself ,” Dag said cooly.p

Rose watched helplessly as the twins dragged their luggage up and into the boat before disappearing into an interior cabin. She stood, hands jammed into her pockets, feeling overwhelmed. Everything was happening so quickly, and she was feeling more than mildly unsettled. She was suddenly very nervous about having been separated from John. When she turned to look back at the dark path back up to the dormitories and thought about travelling back up it alone, she shuddered. Why was she afraid? The twins had her rattled, for sure.

Chewing her lip, she jammed her hands in her pocket and rocked back on her heels. No use prolonging the inevitable, and she wanted to leave before the ferry left. Somehow, it seemed like a good idea to have them watch her departure rather than the other way around. She started up the path, mulling over the night’s strange events as she walked. When the hand fell on her shoulder, she screamed.

“Oi! Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you must’ve heard me calling out for you, guess I interrupted your happy thoughts,” the woman said, ducking into Rose’s view. She was tall and solid, and a bit busty, too, with piercing blue eyes and dark hair that was either brown or black. Rose couldn’t tell in this light. Something about the woman seemed vaguely familiar.

“Who the ‘ell are you?’ Rose spat angrily. The woman blinked at her, taken aback. “And where the hell did you come from?”

“Sorry, I thought they must have told you I was coming. Torchwood sent me, I just arrived on the ferry. I’m the Doctor,” she said with a smile.

* * * * *

John surveyed the churchyard with a look of disapproval. It was old and creepy, for sure, but there was no evidence of anything beyond that fact. Dag and Finn had told him they’d heard a sound like wind whirling and whipping outside, and when they’d gone to look they’d seen a hooded figure come from one of the crypts. He’d asked if it had spoken to them, and they said it hadn’t, but he could tell they were lying about the encounter based on their nervous reactions. He just wasn’t sure how much of what had happened they were exaggerating. They had been genuinely spooked about something, but he doubted they’d been honest with him about what they had seen. What he couldn’t figure out though was their motivation for lying to him when he was just trying to help. Still...something about the air here didn’t feel right.

Jake kicked at a pile of weeds. “There’s nothing here. We ought to get back,” he said, trying not to sound nervous. The old churchyard had set him on edge.

John flipped the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and began slowing using it to scan the graves. He frowned at the readings it was outputting. Something had been here. But living, not dead. And the readings didn’t make sense...

“Something or somebody was here. There’s still a residual energy signature, although it’s faint. The vortex was opened here recently,” John said, turning to Jake.

“So what’s that mean?” Jake asked, not understanding.

“It means that someone time travelled here in the last few hours. But they left again. The vessel, whatever it was, is gone.”


	22. Just A Coincidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rose interrogate the Doctor as things on the island get even stranger.

“Coincidence? There’s no such thing as coincidence,” John snorted, spreading his palms against the table. He regarded the strange woman sitting there coolly, but Rose could see the gears were going behind those stoney eyes. “You just happen to show up on an unscheduled ferry, right around the same time there’s a disturbance in the cemetery that spooked two employees so badly they wouldn’t dare describe what they’d seen. You honestly expect me to believe it’s just bad timing or coincidence?”

“Yes,” the Doctor replied simply, rolling her eyes. “Listen mate, Paul sent me himself, told me to keep it hush hush because no one knew Rose here was pregnant and they wanted to keep it that way. Making a whole bunch of noise about a doctor specializing in obstetrics probably would’ve raised some flags. That’s probably why you haven’t gotten correspondence on it, but I know Paul’s tried to get in touch. He said the phone service on the island can be spotty at times, so maybe you missed a call or a message. But hey, check your email. I’m sure something’s there. I know this is Torchwood, but this is a bit ridiculous. I can’t believe none of you knew I was coming.”

“Yeah well, no one told me. Would’ve been nice if they at least consulted with me on whether or not I wanted a doctor sent here. Leaving the island for my appointments provided some measure of privacy. All this is a bit presumptuous,” Rose chimed in before either of the other two could cut her off. One thing the Doctor seemed to have in common with John was her gob. She had barely shut up the entire time Rose and her had been walking back to base camp.

“I’m sure Paul thought he was doing you a favor. Please, by all means, call him and clarify. I don’t blame you for being cautious, really, I get it. Precious cargo and all of that. But I’m on your side, so it’d be nice if you’d stop treating me like the enemy. Innocent until proven guilty, you know?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. She leaned back in her chair and smiled at them. She didn’t seem the least bit ruffled, which seemed to only fuel John’s annoyance even more.

“You haven’t even told us your name...Doctor,” John said quietly, drawing the last word out. “So if you have nothing to hide, do tell.”

“I’m Dr. London. Or just Anne. Whichever you prefer. I never paid much mind to titles. But you must forgive my rudeness in forgetting to introduce myself. No wonder I made you uneasy. I know the journey from England isn’t a long one, but I must be more tired than I realize,” she said abjectly. “Although mind you, either one of you could’ve asked at any time. I have nothing to hide, despite what you might think.”

John was studying Dr. London’s face. His own expression was unreadable. The wheels were still turning. When the knock came at the door, it startled the group of them.

“Hello? Sorry, it’s me, Jake. There’s an urgent message from Paul,” he called through the door.

Doctor London crossed her arms and cocked her head at John. She smiled again, significantly more smug. “Well what do you know? Any bets on what that urgent message might be about, Sunshine?”

Rose started to giggle, but stifled her laughter behind her hand when John shot her a look that was halfway between wounded puppy and ice daggers. Such a look ought not to exist, but then again neither should the person shooting it. If she spent time dwelling on these sort of strange quirks of his, she’d be endlessly occupied.

“Give it here,” John said gruffly, opening the door and holding out his hand. He practically snatched the sheet of paper out of Jake’s hands before he could give it over.

“Sorry again to bother you with everything going on, but it said urgent at the top when it came through on the fax. I didn’t read past the top part that said it was intended for you or Rose only,” he said, looking at John expectantly. Perhaps a bit abruptly, John shut the door in Jake’s face.

“Well, come on then. What’s it say?” Rose urged, trying to peek over John’s shoulder.

“Nothing, really. An apology from Paul on the lack of notice regarding one Dr. Anne London’s arrival. Blah blah specially qualified blah blah. If anyone asks, she’s just a regular physician. But why now, with the secrecy? We’re getting to the point where it’s going to be very hard to conceal the physical evidence for much longer anyway,” John said, wrapping an arm around Rose and resting one hand protectively atop her belly as he kept reading. His brow furrowed as he got towards the bottom of the paper, which he folded and stuck into his pocket.

‘What? What else did it say?” Rose asked, reaching for the paper. John shooed her fingers away, but she just shot him a look and stuck her hand into his pocket, retrieving the paper easily. She scanned the sheet quickly, and chuckled when she got to the bottom. “Oh, does Paul know you. I know you like to think to yourself that you’re so very mysterious and unpredictable, but maybe you’re just as human as the rest of us.”

“So what does it say?” Dr London finally interjected with just a hint of smugness in her tone.

“It says,” Rose read with great relish. “John, please don’t be your usual self and alienate the Doctor before she’s even had a chance to try and help Rose. You can’t be objective about your own baby or her, so let someone else be, please. That’s an order.”

John snorted. “I can too be objective when it comes to Rose. I’m objective all the time! Well...most of the time. Well...some of the time. You know what? I’m not having this conversation right now. We’ve bigger fish to fry, like figuring out who or what apparently time traveled to this stupid island!” he huffed, slipping past the women and out of the room. “Jake! Did you get the tracking monitor working yet?”

They waited until he had disappeared down the hall before dissolving into peals of laughter.

“Goodness, he’s such a serious bloke,” Dr. London said, wiping the tears of laughter from the corner of her eye. “But you’re lucky, you know. To have a man whose world revolves around you. I bet he’ll be an excellent dad.”

“Oh, I don’t know about all that. Sometimes I think John’s world revolves around driving himself crazy. He’s just...yeah. I don’t even know. I know he adores me, and that’s enough. The neuroses is just part of what makes him so charming. I have no doubts he’ll be a wonderful father, even if he doubts it himself sometimes.”

“This is your first, isn’t it?” Dr. London asked.

“Yeah,” Rose replied, stroking her belly absentmindedly.

“But not his?” the other woman pressed gently.

“What makes you ask?” Rose replied, a little more on guard. She knew the Doctor had once upon a time had a family, but it was something even now John usually refused to discuss. Mentioning his family or Gallifrey or the Time War were surefire ways to put him into one of those introspective tailspins that usually ended with him sulking around the house, tinkering with things that didn’t need tinkering and inevitably blowing up a toaster or some other small and hapless appliance.

“Nothing, really. Just a hunch. He carries himself like a man who’s lost everything before. I wondered if maybe that wasn’t why he was so overprotective,” the Doctor replied.

“What, are you a psychologist now too?” Rose asked, perhaps a little more snidely than she’d meant to.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s none of my business, really,” the other woman said, bowing her head.

“I’m sorry, I should be the one apologizing. Here you’ve been sent to help me and no one has done anything but give you trouble since you’ve gotten here. Everyone’s just so on edge with everything that’s going on. I haven’t even had a chance really to talk to John about whatever it was they discovered up at the old church yard, but it had him rattled. Look, I’m sure you’ve had a rough night yourself, so why don’t we just find you a place in the dorms or in one of the cottages, if you’d like. There will be plenty of time to talk on the other side of a good sleep and a nice breakfast, Doctor,” Rose said with a warm smile.

“Yeah, that’d be good, I think. And please, call me Anne.”

* * * * *

Anne was stretched out on a beat up old twin in one of the smaller cottages. This one didn’t even have a bedroom, just one big room that functioned as living, dining, and sleeping space. Only the bathroom was separate, and it was almost an afterthought, a tiny, shed-like room tacked onto the side of the cottage. The remains of the old latrine still stood in a stand of trees in the backyard. The bathroom might as well have been outside, because it was still dreadfully cold, even in the midst of summer.

It had been a strange day. She wasn’t sure what to think of Rose Tyler or John Smith, but they were both strange, especially him. She didn’t really believe his name was John Smith. Something about him had seemed almost alien, yet she felt drawn to him at the same time. She wondered what he was hiding-even Rose had been reluctant to talk about his past. But maybe even Rose didn’t know. Something about the two of them though seemed familiar. She couldn’t help but feel like she knew them from somewhere, or something. Maybe she’d seen them on the telly during a Torchwood press conference. She fell asleep still thinking about this, turning it over in her mind. Several minutes after she had finally drifted off, there was a strange light and buzzing sound and the door to the cottage creaked open.

Anne slept on, oblivious as the hooded figure crept silently toward her bed. From the folds of its cloak it withdrew a small device and quietly and carefully pointed it at her head.

With the touch of a button, the brain scan began.

* * * * *

John stared at the computer screen in front of him, willing the readings he’d taken from the sonic screwdriver to make sense. Whoever had come here had known what they were doing-when he’d attempted to reverse the energy signal to track the originating location of the vessel that had landed in the cemetery, it enabled an automatic scrambling protocol. Every wrong guess reset the pass code, making it virtually impossible to crack, even for a genius like himself. Whoever had designed it had been more than a little bit brilliant, which naturally made him want to crack the code that much more. It didn’t take him long to configure a program that would run all the code combinations, it was just a matter of waiting for it to find the most likely correct one. That part, unfortunately, could take days if he wanted it to be pinpoint accurate, which of course was essential. He left the computer to run the program and joined Rose in the bedroom.

She was getting ready for bed when he walked in. He leaned against the doorjamb, watching her massage cocoa butter onto first her elbows and knees, and then the swell of her stomach. She let her hands form a cradle and she smiled for just a moment. Watching her do this made him flush with emotions. He loved her so much, was in love with her and their unborn baby in a way he never would’ve thought he could’ve been capable of. As the Doctor he hadn’t been capable of it, but being human changed all that, and looking at Rose filled him with so many thoughts and feelings that sometimes he thought he’d burst. She was incredibly lovely, and sexier now than she ever had been. There was the glow that everyone always talked about, but he understood that was more because pregnancy kicked the body into high gear, causing new cells to grow and refresh at a much quicker rate, leading to shinier hair and nails and brighter, more youthful looking skin. There was something more though, something primal and animalistic about seeing Rose nearly naked and swollen with his child that stoked the fires of his passion like nothing else. He was musing on the idea of ripping off that sheer little duster she was wearing, throwing her down on the bed, tearing off her knickers and...

“So what do you think of Dr. Anne London, now that we’re behind closed doors?” Rose asked, shaking him out of his lustful reverie.

“Oh! Ummm, well I was thinking that maybe she reminded me of someone. I wondered if you felt the same way?” he asked, rubbing his chin.

Rose turned down the sheets and slid into the bed. She sighed and laughed gleefully, kicking her feet against the sheets. He knew she loved the way they felt cold against her skin. That never got old to her. “I love bed,” she declared into her pillow. He cleared his throat.

“Well?”

“Well what?” she mumbled into the pillow.

“Dr. London. Doesn’t she seem familiar?” he urged.

“I don’t know, maybe? Why? Who does she remind you of?” Rose asked, flipping back around to look at him.

“She looks just like Donna Noble, sounds quite like her too. Don’t you think?” he asked.

“Well, you obviously do. But Donna didn’t have black hair. Or glasses. Or a doctorate,” Rose replied.

“That’s not the point. Her face, her body, her voice, even her attitude...it’s all like Donna. Maybe this universe’s version of Donna. But how weird of a coincidence would that be? Of all the people to end up as your doctor. Like I said...there’s no such thing as coincidence. It’s just weird.”

Rose shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I think you’re over analyzing this. You think she looks like Donna maybe because you want her to. Especially after everything that happened with Jayne-Donna-Whatever-Her Name-Is.”

He was almost shocked. He’d expected her to agree. “You didn’t know her like I did. I don’t think it’s just wishful thinking, Rose. If I could get closer to her, maybe run a few tests...”

“Stop. Just stop it. Come on John, Paul sent her himself and with instructions not to alienate or freak her out. What do you think you waving the sonic at her is going to accomplish? Just let it go. So what if she looks like Donna? Maybe it really just is a coincidence, as crazy as that sounds. Just like it was coincidence that the beach ended up being named Bad Wolf Bay. A perfect coincidence, but nothing more because the Bad Wolf and all that happened in a completely different universe. I know you like to find patterns in everything, but sometimes a woman is just a woman. Or a doctor is just a doctor. Maybe she does look a bit like Donna, but that doesn’t have to mean anything. Don’t obsess over it. Obsess over what we’re going to name this baby if it’s a boy. Or a girl. Obsess over your vegetable garden or gadgetizing all the kitchen appliances, but just let her alone..”

“Yeah, but Rose...someone time travelled to this island. That’s the other thing that you’re completely leaving out of the equation. If it weren’t for that, maybe I could leave it. I just don’t know...”

“Come to bed, John. Please. It’s been a long day, I feel like I barely spent any time with you, and I just want you to hold me.”

He smiled at her. “You know I can’t say no to you. The rest of the universe will have to wait until tomorrow, I suppose.”

John stretched out next to Rose, draped one arm over her hip protectively, and brushed his lips gently against the back of her neck. She nestled deeper against him, sighing quietly. Eventually they fell asleep, wrapped up in each other.

In the next room, John’s computer pinged. Whether by sheer luck or the sheer brilliance of its creator, the program had cracked the code. Coordinates began unfurling across the screen, the location impossibly distant. The program stopped, waiting. John and Rose slept on, oblivious that the answer to a dozen different questions waited just the next room over. They also slept on oblivious when the strange light and hum came outside their door, and the hooded figure slipped inside once again. Passing the open study door, the figure caught sight of the computer screen and let out a low, strangled cry of alarm. Hurriedly, the figure rushed towards the computer.

After several frantic attempts to erase the results were futile, the figure let out a string of curses and savagely unplugged the power supply. Collecting that and the laptop, it slipped back into the hallway, pausing outside the bedroom to look in at the sleeping couple. It gazed for a very long time at Rose before finally slipping back out the door.


	23. Secret is Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and John see their baby for the first time, and John makes a startling revelation. Jackie Tyler decides to take things into her own hands and go to Norway.

Rose was suddenly very nervous. This was the first time she’d been examined by an actual doctor since finding out she was pregnant. There had been no appointments off the island-that was just a small fib she told. There had only been John, whom of course she trusted implicitly. No one was more interested or invested in the welfare of their child than he, and she didn’t mind if he poked and prodded at her, much preferred that to the cool and unskilled hands of a stranger anyway. He’d always assured her that everything was normal, progressing smoothly and just as it should. But she’d never had an ultrasound and suddenly found herself terrified at the prospect of seeing a glimpse of the rest of her life on the screen. There was also that small, nagging voice in the back of her head that warned that time travel had changed her, maybe in more ways than she had realized. She thought of her mother and her together on the TARDIS, right before it all went pear-shaped, and what her mother had said...

_”...And you'll keep on changing. And in forty years time, fifty, there'll be this woman - this strange woman... walking through the marketplace on some planet a billion miles from Earth. She's not Rose Tyler. Not anymore. She's not even human...”_

And this was John’s baby. What if something were the matter? What if the baby wasn’t quite human? What if...?

“Earth to Mama Bear, come in Mama Bear,” Dr. London said gently. “I have to apply the gel now, just to warn you. It’ll be cool. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Rose said, shaking her head. “I let my mind wander. I’ll admit, I’m nervous. I’ve never had an ultrasound before. I wish John were here for this.”

“Like I would miss it for anything,” he said, popping his head in. He was wearing the blue suit again, his glasses were slightly askew, and he was carrying an ice cream cone. She had a flash of deja vu, remembering the time the Doctor had taken her to the biggest ice cream factory in the universe. Five hundred flavors, and they’d tasted only a third of them before an angry factory productivity manager had hauled them unceremoniously out of the freezer. She smiled at the memory. He caught her gaze, and smiled back.

“It’s no Klaruvian Rainbowberry Cream, but it’ll do,” he said, offering her the ice cream cone.

“...did you just read my mind?” she asked, staring at him. “I thought you said you couldn’t do that anymore.”

“Mmm. Maybe I lied,” he suggested, waggling his eyebrows at her.

“What’s all this nonsense about spacey ice cream? Throw that out and wash your hands, you plum,” the Doctor admonished, rubbing the conductive gel on the surface of Rose’s exposed stomach.

“How’d you know it was ‘spacey’ ice cream we were talking about?” John asked, tossing the remainder of the cone into the rubbish bin.

“Because we work for Torchwood and not the NHS. I read your files before I came. The parts that weren’t classified, which wasn’t much. But I know Rose was a time-space traveller before. You, on the other hand...well, it’s almost like you didn’t exist until a few years ago. There wasn’t a whole lot on you,” Dr. London said, fixing John with a look that made him rather uncomfortable.

“Witness protection and relocation. You think John Smith’s my real name?” he asked with a derisive chuckle.

“No, course not. I don’t believe a bloke as anomalous as you could really be called something as pedestrian as John Smith. But that’s none of my business. And there...there’s your baby,” she said, extending a finger to point at the screen. The look on John’s face was one of shock and awe. He’d been about to ask her a question, but she’d effectively interrupted him.

“It’s a boy,” he said quietly, reaching out for Rose’s hand. He took it and squeezed, maybe not as gently as he could have. She didn’t notice. Both of them were transfixed. This made things feel a lot more real.

“Yes, definitely a boy. Sometimes it’s hard to tell this early on. But he looks happy and healthy and completely normal. Head’s a bit big though, gonna want to keep an eye on that if you were planning on going the natural delivery route. I’ll get you a copy of the picture-it takes a little longer on these portable machines, though,” Dr. London said cheerfully, sashaying out of the exam room.

“Are you okay?” Rose asked. John was uncharacteristically quiet.

“Yeah, I’m just...thinking about things I have no business of thinking about right now. Thinking about people who’ve come and gone. Enough of that though...we’re having a baby boy. A son,” he said, a far off look in his eyes.

“You’re still thinking about it, whatever it is,” Rose said gently, lacing her fingers through his. “But it’s okay. I know this has been hard for you. I know you’re afraid, but you shouldn’t be. You’re going to make a great dad.”

“I’m glad you think so. I’m determined to do better at it this time, at any rate. But I have something else on my mind, too...”

The subtle change in his voice made Rose’s hair stand on end. Whatever he was about to tell her was important. He seemed to be agonizing over it. 

“What? What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I don’t want to spoil this. This is important. Seeing our baby for the first time...I don’t want to sully this memory. I don’t know yet that anything is the matter...maybe it isn’t. But I know I’ve told you before that I thought a storm was coming, and I think this might be part of it...”

Dr. London walked back into the room, putting an end to their conversation. If she sensed that she’d interrupted something, she didn’t let on. She passed John a brown envelope and Rose a damp cloth before settling back down.

“Well, so far everything looks good. Rose, your iron is a little low, but other than that you and baby are perfectly healthy,” Dr. London said.

“So you did her bloodwork. And everything looked normal?” John asked.

Dr. London stared at him like he was a simpleton. “That is what I just said yeah, perfectly healthy.”

“Well healthy and normal aren’t exactly the same, now are they?” he replied innocently.

“Why, is there something abnormal you have in mind that I should be looking for?” she asked, raising her eyebrows back at him.

“You’re the Doctor, you tell me,” he quipped. Rose smacked the back of his head. “Ouch!”

“Feel free to ignore him, God knows I do some of the time,” Rose said, glaring at John. “What was that earlier, about not ruining the moment?”

“Right. Well, I probably ought to be going. Told some of the girls I’d show them how to do self-breast exams. Can’t believe some of them still don’t know how to do that. Glad to help educate, but still...” the Doctor said, gathering her case. She nodded her head at Rose and John and slipped back out of the room.

“What the hell was that?” Rose asked, rounding on him angrily.

“Sorry, sorry. I can’t help it, there’s just something about her...” 

“Besides that, I mean the fact that you were almost but not quite drawing attention to the fact that you aren’t entirely human and you almost expect our baby wouldn’t be, either. But there’s no way to determine that without an amnio, and I think I can live without one. The baby looks perfectly human, and Anne said he looks healthy. So what is going on with you?”

“Somebody stole my laptop. The laptop I was using to trace where that vessel came from,” he said grimly. “Apparently, someone is very dedicated to the cause of keeping the location a secret.”

“Are we safe here?” she asked bluntly. “Should I be worried for my safety, for the baby’s?”

“No. I’ll die before I let any harm come to either of you. But here’s the thing...they stole the computer, but the program completed running. When it finished, it sent a copy of the results to my sonic screwdriver. I’m guessing whoever stole the computer wasn’t banking on that, but I know where the vessel came from, Rose. And that’s why I’m so on edge. That’s why I don’t think any of this is coincidence. And that’s why, I’m sorry, but I still don’t know if I trust Dr. London.”

“Alright, alright, I get the point. Something is obviously going on. But where did the signal trace back to, John?”

“Galactic coordinates ten-zero-eleven-zero-zero by zero-two from galactic zero centre,” he replied, a bit shakily.

“So where’s that? Is it a planet, a galaxy, a black hole, what?” she urged.

“The Shining World of the Seventh System, in the constellation of Kasterborous. Gallifrey.”

* * * * *

In one of the many abandoned mining sheds peppered throughout the island, he paced. He was nervous, though he knew they would be pleased with his findings. Though what those finding meant for the private mission he was doing on the side, well, that was another thing entirely. Being a double-agent was thrilling, in a James Bond sort of way, but it was rather exhausting, too. Finally, he steeled himself and sat down to make the call. He punched some numbers into the tiny computer strapped to his wrist and waited.

“Yes? I hope you’ve brought me good news.”

“Yeah well I know you don’t tolerate any other kind, so I do what I can. The Metacrisis suspects something. He’s quite clever, as we expected. He knows someone was here on the island, and he ran a program to trace the signal. I broke in and took his laptop before he could check the results, so I think we’re safe on that point, for now.”

“That hardly sounds like good news. That sounds an awful lot like you came dangerously close to bungling your job, and through sheer luck managed not to,” the other man said angrily.

“Relax, Sir, I got this. Trust me. Rose Tyler is having her ultrasound and bloodwork today, once I can get those results we’ll know more. I don’t suppose our friendly neighborhood prophet has given up anything more to narrow down the time frame?”

“She’s hardly a prophet, and what do you think? If she was giving the information I needed, your employment would be unnecessary. As it is, neither she nor her wretched daughter would give us anything, and the mind probes have only been so successful. I suppose that’s the curse we brought on ourselves by teaching her how to conceal her thoughts too well. As it is, I grow impatient. I need answers. I need to know when the Bad Wolf and the Doctor will awaken, how much time we have. We can’t interrupt the time lines, we can only watch and wait. We rely on you to do the legwork, and I’m growing impatient, Mr. Harkness.”

“Anytime Rassilon, feel free to pick up and do all this yourself, if you have a problem with my pace,” Jack suggested, voice dripping with sarcasm. “But good information takes good time to find."

“Don’t be foolish. Time Lords don’t interfere-that’s what we have you for. So interfere if you have to, but get me those damned results.”

“I’ll get right on that,” Jack replied curtly, disconnecting the call. He slumped against the wall and sighed. He didn’t know Rose Tyler, but he felt sorry for her. She had no idea what she was in for.

* * * * *

Jake Simmonds had tried both John and Rose’s mobiles, but neither of them had picked up. He had no idea where they were, but their timing couldn’t be any worse. Did both of them have to go and disappear? He ran up towards their cottage, hoping at least one of them might be around. If not, the two of them were going to be in for a very rude awakening. He’d just gotten a call. Yet another unscheduled ferry was coming to the island, and it was due to land any moment now. He wanted to give them some warning.

As he crested the hill he could see the two of them walking, hand-in-hand, towards their cottage. He waved his arms and flagged them down. “Oi! I’ve been looking for you two. What’s the use of having a mobile if you aren’t going to answer it?”

“Is everything alright?” Rose asked.

“That depends on your definition of alright,” Jake said, bending over at the waist with a grimace. He was a bit winded. He took a couple deep breaths and stood back up to address the two of them. “I just got off the phone with Pete. Hurricane Jackie is about twenty minutes away on a ferry, waited until he went to sleep and then hopped herself a red eye to Norway. She called him right before she got on the ferry at Bad Wolf Bay to let him know where she was, but that was almost an hour ago. It can’t be long now. I’ve been looking for you two this whole time!”

Jake’s breathless exclamation was punctuated by the sound of a horn, letting them know that the ferry was in the process of docking as they spoke. Rose and John exchanged a panicked glance.

“Well that’s that then. No more charade. Once Jackie lands, the big secret is out,” Rose said evenly. “Jake knows, by the way. I told him the other night.”

“I figured. But what do you want to do about your mother?” John asked.

“Tell her the truth, I guess. Because there’s no way I can lie to her now, she’ll probably smell it on me, she always did know when I was trying to hide something. Oh, but this is ridiculous. I’m nearly thirty, and I’m avoiding a scolding from my mum!”

“Somehow Rose, I doubt you’ll get much of a scolding. I expect once she gets over the initial shock, your mother will be over the moon,” Jake said.

“He’s probably right. All the same, I think I’ll stand out of slapping range when we meet up with Jackie,” John advised, a slight smile playing out on his lips.

“Probably for the best,” Rose agreed, taking his hand. The three of them set off down the hill together toward the docks to greet Rose’s mother. “In fairness to my mum though, she’s not slapped you more than a handful of times, most of which you deserved.”

“One slap from your mother is enough, my dear,” John snorted. 

“Oh, I don’t suppose she’ll be so mad at you. I think she’s just delighted that you decided to make an honest woman out of me. I think she suspected we would never truly settle down at all. And the prospect of a grandchild? She may die of shock ,the Doctor gone domestic. I think she’ll be mad that we’ve been hiding it from her for so long, though...” Rose said anxiously.

“I know I like to tease, but your mother isn’t stupid, Rose. The last thing in the world she’s going to want to do right now is stress YOU out. I suppose if anyone ends up being in for an earful about it all, it’ll be me. That’s usually how it goes. I know you’re nervous, but I don’t think you need to worry so much.”

“Well, we’re about to find out,” Jake said, as the three of them rounded the bend that let to the docks. They heard Jackie Tyler before they could see her.

“Oi! Be careful with that bag, it cost a small fortune. I’ll not have the leather scuffed up, thanks very much!”

The three of them couldn’t help but chuckle. The Norwegians were accustomed to storms, but none quite like Jackie. She was giving it to one of the men who worked on the ferry. Technically, it wasn’t their responsibility to carry bags for passengers, but if nothing the locals were polite and well-mannered. Jackie being the wife of one of Torchwood’s top ranking officers probably didn’t hurt, either.

Jackie disembarked the ferry and swept her hair out of her eyes. She scanned the area, and seeing the three of them approaching, she smiled and waved.

“Rose!” she cried out loud, rushing to wrap her daughter in a hug. Rose tried to smile, but looked quite uncomfortable, as she was rather sure her mother was both hugging and appraising her. “I’m not even cross with you for not calling, I’m just so happy to see you!”

She moved on from Rose to John, planting two quick kisses on his cheeks. “I even missed you, believe it or not. Tony drew me a picture of you two, riding a space horse. I’ve brought it with me. Maybe you can put it on the fridge.”

“How is Tony?” John asked with a smile. Rose’s little brother had a particular affection for him, probably because he was totally willing to get down and dirty to play. Even when he’d been the Doctor, and he still thought of himself like that some of the time, he had always said there was no point in growing up if you couldn’t behave like a kid sometimes.

“He’s good. Got himself a little girlfriend, met her at the park. I think she might have preferred cookies over the lizard he gave her, but they seem to get on pretty well. Her name’s Susan. Speaking of the children though...is there something you two would like to tell me?” Jackie asked, letting her hand come to rest on Rose’s abdomen. Her eyes were sparkling when she said it.

“Ummmm,” the two of them said in unison, exchanging a glance. Jake cleared his throat and quietly excused himself from whatever exchange was about to happen.

“It was a rhetorical question, Sweetheart,” Jackie said after Jake had walked away. “As I’m pretty sure I already know the answer.”

Rose sighed heavily, and her shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, mum. I was just...I was so scared. I didn’t know what I was going to do, we certainly weren’t expecting it, I didn’t know if things would be normal, and I was afraid if I told you you’d really press me not to come here and all I wanted at that moment was to run away. Not like I could run away from myself, but, well..y’know.”

“I do know,” Jackie said sympathetically, folding Rose back into her arms. “I’m not mad at you. I’m just...I’m so excited for you two, Rose. I know you’ve been happy together, but the best is yet to come.”

She was positively beaming. John had never seen his future mother-in-law like this, perhaps with the exception of when her and Pete had first been reunited. Her expression was one that said, “Everything is now as it should be”. His human side hoped that was the case, but the rest of him knew better. The storm was still coming, whatever it was, and he was now certain it had to trace back to Gallifrey, and Donna’s strange behavior right before the three of them had parted ways. He hoped the promise he had made to Rose about keeping her and their baby safe was one he could keep. He couldn’t afford the consequences otherwise, wouldn’t entertain the idea of failure. Part of him though was the most terrified he’d been in a long time. He remembered the way the air had felt during the Time War. This felt similar. Something about it was all wrong. He couldn’t understand why the Time Lords would come here, just to leave again. Had Donna been checking up on them? If so, why hadn’t she stopped by and seen them in person? Unless, for some reason, she couldn’t... He thought again of her telling him that she would see him again, on the day that what he’d lost was restored to him. He wondered, again, what she possibly could’ve meant. What had he lost here? He had Rose, and she was his everything. There was the TARDIS coral, of course, but he doubted that was what she meant? He wasn’t even sure where he had lost it. Unless of course, he had never actually lost it at all...

He hauled Jackie’s bags as the three of them walked back toward the main encampment. Rose and her mother were deep in conversation ,and John was staring at his Converse-clad feet, deep in thought. None of them noticed the figure standing on the ridge, watching them from the trees.


	24. A Dream of the Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a strange dream and falls mysteriously ill, and Dr. London begins to ask questions Rose doesn't want to answer. When Rose tries to run from the problem, she gets more than she bargained for in return.

He was full of so many different emotions. His body didn’t produce adrenaline, but something similar, and it was rushing through him with the fierce intensity of white water rapids. Water. Water. Why was his head so full of water? Water and emotions.. He was exhalted, exhilarated, manic and utterly mad. He had done the impossible, sod the policy of non-interference! He was the last, and that meant he got to make the rules.

Not the survivor. The winner.

It all happened so fast, though. He watched her retreat through the door, and then only a moment later was rocked by the vicious sound of her ending her own life. Then he was full of different emotions. Desperation, hopelessness, regret. Still mania, though. And water. So much water.

It was snowing, and the little ice crystals felt like they were cutting him like knives. The blood rushing through his head suddenly seemed so loud. He blinked, and in the distance...no. Ood Sigma? But he couldn’t tell, because it was getting dark. There was a sudden, sharp pain in his stomach. He jerked up instinctively, shaking the last of his sleep off himself.

For a moment he almost expected to be in his room on the TARDIS, but then he caught a glimpse of the clock on the bedside table, the numbers glowing red. He remembered that he was not the Doctor, not anymore. He was John Smith, and this was Norway, in the bed he shared with Rose Tyler. His vision was still a little blurry, and the numbers on the clock almost looked demonic. He rubbed his eyes, but the blurriness did not abate. His stomach cramped again painfully, and he sucked in a gasp of breath, his strange dream temporarily forgotten. 

Something was wrong with him.

He stumbled out of bed clumsily, knocking his reading glasses and book off the nightstand in the process. They thudded loudly against the floor. His vision still growing cloudier, he crawled his way towards the bathroom. He was certain he was going to be ill. Rose’s bedside light clicked on behind him, lighting the path. He could hear her calling out to him, but he couldn’t make sense of what she was saying.

This was so disorienting. Why wasn’t his other heart working? But then he remembered again he didn’t have another heart, not anymore. “That’s disgusting!” he uttered out loud, feeling a wave of deja vu. That was what he had said to Donna the day he had been made. He made it as far as the threshold between the two doors before his arms buckled and he fell cheek first against the cool tile floor. His head was buzzing angrily, and he coughed. He felt something pass his lips, but he didn’t see it. The last thing he was aware of was Rose’s hand on his shoulder before he lost consciousness.

* * * * *

Rose’s mind was reeling with the events of the past twenty-four hours. So much had happened, and she felt like she was on an emotional rollercoaster. Everything, from seeing her baby for the first time, to learning that someone who was most likely a Time Lord had travelled to the island, to finally telling her mum she was pregnant, and then finally, this. John’s sudden illness and collapse. The last time she’d been that terrified was the moment her fingers had finally slipped off the lever and sent her hurtling towards the Void. Thank God Jake had still been awake-it had only taken him three minutes to run to their cottage after she’d called and told him John had collapsed. It’d been a bit unruly loading him onto one of the golf carts they kept around for quick transportation, but Jake had managed with only very minor assistance from her.

Looking at his prone form underneath the blankets, she was reminded of the Christmas he’d changed, and the Sycorax invasion. She’d sat at his bedside then too, watching and waiting, feeling hopeless and abandoned. She didn’t know what was wrong with him or how to help him and she felt so utterly powerless, it was driving her mad. Jake and her mum sat on either side of her, but she was hardly aware they were there, she was so lost in her own thoughts.

Dr. London’s form filled the doorway then. She looked somber, and Rose felt her gut clench.

“His blood work has come back. Would it be alright if Rose and I spoke in private?”

Jake and Jackie both looked at her then, seeking permission in their eyes. She thought of what John had said, that he wasn’t sure he trusted Anne. She still couldn’t understand how or why. Her instinct told her that the woman was genuine enough and only had their best interests at heart. Maybe she had her secrets, but didn’t they all? Still, his instincts were usually fairly reliable too, except for when they weren’t. She was still the resident human here, and she liked Anne.

“S’alright, mum. Just go wait outside with Jake. Or maybe go and get us all a coffee or something, it’s going to be a long night,” Rose said.

Jake and Jackie got up to leave, though neither looked particularly happy about it. Jackie shot a worried look over her shoulder at her daughter, but she was too wrapped up to notice it. Anne took a seat next to Rose, holding a folder with a sheaf of papers in it. Test results, presumably. Her heart felt like it might pound out of her chest, she was so nervous.

Dr. London finally cleared her throat and began to speak, very softly. “So I suppose you already know this...but John’s blood work is irregular. There’s an alien component to it, not one we can identify, but it’s there. Makes sense now, I guess, why he was so concerned about whether or not the ‘baby’ was normal. It’s because he’s not, is he? What is he, Rose?”

Rose swallowed, remembering Jayne/Donna’s warning to him that he should avoid these sorts of tests at all costs. They hadn’t exactly had much of a choice this time around, though. The Doctor had already seen his scans and blood work, so what was the point in lying now. She chewed her lip, thought about how to best explain it. “He’s not normal, you’re right. He never was, never has been, don’t suspect he ever will be. I don’t know myself sometimes what he is, and I’ve known him for what feels like both an eternity and no time at all, and I still don’t really know what he is. Because he always talks, but he never says. He likes to talk about everything but himself. The best way I can explain him to you Donna is this; he’s the best and worst thing that will ever happen to you, if you’re lucky.”

“And if you’re not lucky?” the other woman asked.

“Then he’ll destroy you,” Rose swallowed. Immediately, she was unsure why she had said this, though deep down she knew it to be true. She should be protecting the Doctor’s secrets now, not sharing them with this woman who really was for all intents and purposes, a stranger. Still, she trusted her, even if she wasn’t exactly sure why.

“You just called me Donna a moment ago. Why?”

“Did I?” Rose asked. “I didn’t even notice. Suppose maybe he’s rubbing off on me...the Doc..I mean John thinks you look like a friend of his. Someone in another place, far away from here. He thought it seemed like a very strange coincidence, with everything else that was going on. But his friend’s name was Donna, and he lost her rather traumatically. I guess that’s why he has such a hard time with you. You remind him of her. I don’t see it, but he knew her better than I ever did, so...”

“You still aren’t really answering me, Rose. What is he? His DNA...he’s not just human. He’s something else, too. What?”

“What difference does it make to you?” Rose asked petulantly, knowing it was a stupid thing to say but feeling panicked and at a loss for reason or words.

“I can’t try to treat him if I don’t understand his biology, Rose. Listen, I don’t know what happened between you two, what brought you here. I know you’re not being entirely truthful to me, and that’s fine. But if for no other reason than wanting to preserve the health of the father of your child, I need to know, Rose. Somebody poisoned him, someone who knew what he was. The toxin is alien in origin, and I can’t identify it. I’m not sure if it was intended to kill him or merely incapacitate him, but at this point I don’t think it makes a difference. I need to try to understand. What is he? What is John, if not human?”

“No one knows what he is. No one except me, and a handful of others whom I trust implicitly. Except...well, I guess there is one other person out there who knows what he is,” she said, thinking again of the Time Lady Donna. “I don’t think she’d want to hurt him, but I don’t know her really, either. Not really. We just kind of trusted her...”

“You’re being vague. Rose, if you know something, please tell me. The more I know, the better I can try and help him,” Dr. London said, her irritation plainly evident in her voice.

“Rose?” 

The two women looked up. They’d been so absorbed in their own conversation that they hadn’t even noticed their patient had awakened. He was looking at the two of them though like he thought he was seeing ghosts. “Are you really here?”

She went to him then and took his hand. “Course I’m really here. Where else would I be? You gave me quite a fright tonight, thanks very much. You need to not be stressing me out like that.”

He smiled at her then, one of those big daft grins like he used to get when they were travelling and something unexpected, exciting or otherwise wonderful happened. A tear trickled slowly from the corner of his eye. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Don’t talk like that. You’re not going to die. Not for another eighty or ninety years. And certainly not before I do!” she said with a forced laugh.

“Donna? How are you here? And why have you gone and coloured your hair?” he asked, squinting at the other woman. “Are you sure I’m really awake? This must be a dream...”

“The poison’s got him disoriented,” Dr. London remarked.

“Poison? I was poisoned? That explains the hallucinations. You two aren’t really here. You can’t be here!” he said, his voice raising an octave with obvious stress. The heart monitor beeped a warning, indicating that his heart rate was increasing.

“He’s got to calm down, or I’m going to have to sedate him,” Dr. London said, her voice sounding strained. She was obviously disturbed by the scene currently unfolding, but so was Rose.

“Look at me,” she said, grabbing his face with her hands. His panicked eyes searched her own, and she leaned in to give him a kiss. He was caught off-guard, because it took him a moment to unstiffen and kiss her back. She pulled back to look at him, and he was looking at her with what looked like shock. “Real enough for you, John?”

“I...well, yes. Real enough. But Rose...are you pregnant?” he asked.

“You know I am,” she reminded him gently, trying not to let the worry creep into her voice. She turned to look over her shoulder at Dr. London, who was observing them silently. “He must’ve knocked his head pretty good, yeah? Or maybe this is the side effect of the poison?”

“Would you stop talking about me like I’m not here? Unless this really is a dream, in which case, I suppose proceed as you were. But if this is real, then we need to find the TARDIS. I’ll feel better there. And you two...can explain...explain how you got here...together,” he panted, sounding out of breath.

“Oh,” Rose said, her stomach doing flips. He was looking at her in awe again, and he squeezed her hand weakly and pulled her closer to him.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Dr. London finally interrupted.

John seemed to look through the other woman at first, but then he answered. “She killed herself. And my head was full of water...”

“He’s not making any sense, and his blood pressure is still spiking. Rose, he’s going to crash if he doesn’t calm down!” 

“I don’t know if this is a dream or not. You’re here...and that’s wonderful. But it can’t be,” he said sadly, looking into her eyes. “But I’ll say it anyway, just in case it’s the last chance I get. Rose Tyler...I love you.”

He collapsed back against the bed then, the heart monitor beeping shrilly as the jumping green line went flat. Anne roughly shoved her out of the way and immediately began performing CPR on him. Rose could only watch numbly, still trying to process what had just happened. In the background, Dr. London swore as she worked feverishly to restart his heart. Rose thought she might pass out herself, and she stumbled weekly backwards into the nearest chair. She could only watch as the other woman worked to save his life. But who was he? For a moment there, he obviously wasn’t sure himself, and now Rose wasn’t, either.

The heart monitor picked back up its regular rhythm, and the doctor collapsed against the wall in relief. John sighed deeply, and exhaled. For a moment, Rose thought she saw a single tiny plume of golden smoke curl from his lips, but it disappeared so quickly she thought she must’ve imagined it. 

“What the hell was all that?” Dr. London finally asked quietly.

“That was the Doctor,” Rose replied numbly. “Or at least he seemed to think so.”

* * * * *

In a tiny hideout, deep in the woods, a little wrist computer beeped urgently, alerting its owner of an incoming call.

“Harkness,” he answered gruffly.

“Well Jack, I’ve gone and made your job just that much easier,” Rassilon replied. Jack could hear something in his voice, something that worried him. He sounded strangely elated.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Jack asked, realizing he was in fact, dreading the answer.

“It took a little...shall we say, unorthodox persuasion? Don’t you worry about that bit, but we had some questions answered. Donna told that science experiment that she would see him again on the day that what he’d lost was restored to him. And I think we all know what that day most likely is.”

Jack snorted. “You’re one to talk about science experiments, Rassilon. The Metacrisis could just as easily have been one of yours, and you know that.”

“The Metacrisis is an abomination, Harkness. A Time Lord, with a human’s biology! That’s not a Time Lord, that’s something else. Something wrong. If we’d wanted to remain primitive, one-hearted beasts, we would’ve. He might be clever, but he’s still not right. You don’t even know the half of it, nor could you begin to understand what I went through to make Gallifrey what it is, to make the Time Lords what they are. I almost get this sense that John Smith, or whatever he calls himself, likes being human. But he’s not really human, either. More of an ‘it’, really. But he’s just a cog in the grander scheme, Jack. We both know that. He will play his part in the awakening of the Bad Wolf, an essential part. But that time is not now. Now is the time for positioning the pieces, making sure they all fall into place.”

“I thought the prophecy mentioned a Time Lord called the Doctor. The Metacrisis isn’t a Time Lord. Are you sure...”

“Don’t concern yourself with that! He’s temporarily incapacitated, the island is in a panic. In a few minutes, Rose Tyler is going to walk through these woods to try and clear her head. And you, Mr. Harkness...you’ll be waiting for her. To help set it all in motion.”

“What do I have to do?” he asked. He could hear the Time Lord draw in a breath. He sensed that whatever came next, he wasn’t going to like.

“The prophecy was very specific, Mr. Harkness. About the child, anyway. The child of the legends is a child of Time. Not a human. That child isn’t right.”

“I’m sorry, but it sounded like you were inferring I ought to somehow cause harm to Rose Tyler’s unborn baby...because it’s human like she is? Is that what you’re asking me to do? Because even I have boundaries, Rassilon, and what you’re paying me...it’s not worth having THAT on my mind. If you want that kind of interference, do it yourself.”

Rassilon chuckled darkly. “Oh, Jack. It’s almost funny, when you think you have a choice. But you don’t. The awakening of the Bad Wolf is a fixed point in time. The wheels are already in motion, whether you realize it or not. Go and hide in the woods, Jack. The rest will happen on its own.”

The call disconnected, and Jack sat motionless, replaying the conversation over again in his head. There was something big, something important that Rassilon was deliberately leaving him in the dark about. That made him nervous. That, and the knowledge of what Donna had said to the Metacrisis the last time she had seen him. He knew where Donna was, and they hadn’t gotten the information from her. The only other person they could’ve gotten it from was her mother, and that worried him too. Donna’s mother wasn’t exactly loyal to the Time Lords, she was loyal to her daughter. If she had given information up, it had to have been under duress. He made the decision then that it was time to try and find his friend and flee while they still had time.

* * * * *

There were too many questions, and Rose couldn’t handle it. She had slipped out of the hospital room, feeling guilty and terrified. Her heart was still firmly lodged in her throat, as it had been from the moment he had looked her in the eye and told her he loved her. When he had said that, he had said it with the Doctor’s voice, and the Doctor’s eyes staring into her. She had felt it. It had felt like _him_ , and it had felt different from the way John looked at her. She didn’t know why she was so rattled by the experience, because John and the Doctor were essentially the same person. Maybe they had become different now, but at the root they were still the same.

Still, when he had looked at her, she had felt like he was looking through a chasm. He seemed incredibly distant, in spite of being right there. He thought he was the Doctor, too, that had been evident by his behavior. Whatever he had been poisoned with must have given him very powerful hallucinations. It made sense though, why he was seemingly confused by her and Dr. London’s presence-if he thought he was the Doctor and the doctor was Donna, it didn’t make sense for them to all be in the same universe, let alone a room together. It had made Rose realize though just how much she missed the Doctor. John and him were the same, except for all the ways in which they were different. She missed him so much in that moment, her breath hitched in her throat and she thought she’d start crying again.

She looked up then, realizing with a start where she was. She had just started walking, lost in her thoughts. Her feet had thought to take her by the old church and graveyard. She had evidently been walking for a while to have ended up here. It was dark, though, and foggy, and immediately she felt vulnerable. The air was heavy and still and silent, as though the forest around her were holding its breath. She was holding her breath too when she heard the branch snap behind her. She turned her head quickly, just in time to see the disappearing blur of whatever had been watching her. She saw flashes of it through the trees as it ran, and then for just a moment turned back to look. For a moment, the two of them locked eyes and her jaw dropped when she recognized who the hooded figure was.

“Jack?” she called out. The retreating form of the figure seemed to freeze momentarily, but then picked up the pace and began to run even faster.  
“Jack! Please, wait!” she shouted, darting into the trees after him. She didn’t even give herself a moment to think about how or why Jack would be here now, she just knew that she had to find him. If anyone could help her now, with John incapacitated, it was him. So she ran frantically on, struggling to keep her breath and keep him in her sight, and trying to ignore the stitch she felt developing in her side. This was the most active she’d been since finding out she was pregnant, and it felt awkward and uncomfortable running like this.

The moon dipped behind the clouds then, plunging the woods around her into a deeper shroud of darkness. She couldn’t see him any more, could only hear him crashing through the underbrush as he ran from her. He had the advantage though, being a fit man with long legs. With a dawning terror, she realized that she could also hear something crashing through the underbrush behind her. 

She was being chased.

Too terrified to turn and look behind her, she continued running on, frantically slapping trees and brush out of her way as she did. She cursed her own stupidity, for just running off without a torch. She didn’t even have her mobile on her! Without either of those things, she was literally lost in the dark, blundering blindly. 

“Rose!”

It was Jake, calling her name, Jake coming up from behind her through the woods. She breathed a sigh of relief, her pursuit of Jack temporarily forgotten. She was so relieved to know that she wasn’t stuck out here alone, being chased by an unknown thing, that she sighed and slumped against the nearest tree she felt, reaching out and grabbing a low-hanging branch for purchase. The flicker of Jake’s flashlight coming through the darkness was the last thing she saw before the branch she was holding broke, tumbling her down the hill and through the dry-rotted wood clumsily nailed over one of the island’s many abandoned mining shafts.


	25. An Impossible Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose dreams of the Doctor. And yes, it's my take on Rose and the Doctor's first time together.
> 
> Can be read as a stand alone/missing scene for The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit.

Rose was dreaming.

At least she figured she must be, because she was back on Krop Tor in the dank little dormitory room they’d assigned her after they’d realized they were stuck. Truthfully, it felt more like a living memory than a dream, as she was flooded with almost-sensations. Her body recalled the way the cheap sheets had felt, stiff between her fingers and against her bare legs. She was wearing a standard issue tshirt and her knickers. She remembered.

She’d had an anxiety attack in the laundry, thinking about her mum at home all alone, waiting for a daughter who would never return. She’d muttered something about feeling ill and had run off, the hot tears threatening to spill over. Her poor mum, who’d already lost so much... Her heart had banged around her chest like a trapped and panicked bird, and she had let out a shuddering sigh of relief when the dormitory door had shut behind her. She just needed a moment by herself, and she’d be alright. A few minutes later though she had still been sweating and gasping for breath and crying and finally she’d decided that really all she could do was get in bed and try to have a bit of a kip. That was where she was now, was in bed. Maybe she’d feel better about it when she woke up, because this was her life now and she had to get used to it. At least she had the Doctor, while her mum had no one.

The thought brought on a fresh slew of tears, and she was angry and frustrated at herself for letting her emotions render her useless. She was crying, when she should be thanking her lucky stars. Angrily, she turned and faced the wall and forced herself to breathe in slowly through her nose until the hitching breaths she was drawing began to smooth out. She was tired. Crying always left her feeling drained. She heard the door open quietly, and a moment later she felt the bed dip as the Doctor climbed in and slid under the sheets with her. Her wrapped his arms around her and spooned her, letting his head rest on the pillow next to hers.

“I’m so sorry, Rose. I never meant for anything like this to happen. I should’ve been more careful... I’m so sorry I’ve done this to you,” he whispered, his voice laden with guilt.

“My mum,” she croaked. “She’s all alone...and she’ll never know what happened to me. She’ll just sit and wait and wonder. Until she dies alone, a million years away from here. Even if we can get back to Earth, the time's all wrong, and we’ve got no way of sorting it out.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, Rose. If we can somehow get back to civilization, I may be able to wire up something to send a message back to her, maybe find a stray vortex manipulator or something...”

“I don’t care,” she choked out. “I know you’ll do whatever you can. I’m not upset at you. I just had an anxiety attack, s’all.”

“Oh, oh right, of course. Sorry. Is there anything I can do?” he asked, concern in his voice.

“You’re already doing it. Just...please keep holding me. And talking to me. It’s helping me to calm down. I’m sorry,” she sighed, hating herself a little bit for letting him see her this way. She always tried to put on a brave face for the Doctor. She knew how hard he took her perceived disappointment in things, and she hadn’t wanted him to feel any worse about accidentally stranding them in the orbit of a black hole. So much for that.

“There’s no room for your apologies in here, Rose. You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said, softly stroking her head. She didn’t say anything, just enjoyed the feeling of his fingers gently tugging through her hair. Normally, her nerves would have been strung taut as wire if the Doctor had climbed into bed with her, not like that was a frequent occurrence. This wasn’t normal though, and he had come to comfort her probably as much as he was seeking comfort (and probably her forgiveness) himself.

She had just about dropped off the edge into a cortisol-induced sleep when the Doctor spoke again, breaking the silence.

“What you said earlier...about us getting a house together if we got back. Would you really want that? With me, I mean?” he asked, his voice sounding small.

“Course I meant it. Why wouldn’t I?” she yawned in reply.

“I don’t know. Because you’re a vivacious young woman and I’m a daft old alien? I guess I just figured without the TARDIS in the picture that maybe you might like to seek adventure elsewhere. And with other people. Other human people,” he said, emphasizing the last bit.

She turned to look at him. “Don’t be stupid. I told you I’d never leave you, that I’d stay with you forever. At least for my forever, however long that may be. Just because the TARDIS has gone doesn’t mean I don’t still feel that way,” she stated, feeling slightly insulted that the Doctor would doubt her loyalties.

“Yeah, but Rose...what if you want to do...human things?” he continued.

“You’re going to need to be a little more specific than just ‘human things’, Doctor. What are you trying to ask me?” 

He didn’t answer her at first, and though she couldn’t see his face in the darkness of the dormitory she could feel the blush radiating off of him. He was embarrassed about something, and then it dawned on her. “Oh!” she said with a laugh.

“What? What’s so funny?” he asked, a hint of self-consciousness creeping into his voice.

“By ‘human things’ you actually meant ‘sexy things’, didn’t you?!” she accused good naturedly.

“I didn’t say that!”

“But you meant it, didn’t you?” she asked, grinning, her tongue involuntarily poking its way through her teeth.

“See, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything about it,” he grumbled. “But since you went there...yes, sexy things. But other human things. Marriage. Children. Things...things I can’t give you.”

Rose felt her heart thudding in her chest. Was she really having this conversation with the Doctor? And in a dark bedroom, to boot? So many thoughts were rushing through her mind, but it was only one that came tumbling out of her lips, and it was one that she immediately regretted. “You did sexy human things with Madame du Pompadour.”

Beside her his body went stiff, and she felt her heart thud even harder in her chest. Why on Earth had she gone and said that? Even if it were true, and even if it had always bothered her...this was the Doctor! Had she really just done that? Whatever the possible outcome was, it couldn’t be good.

“That was different,” the Doctor finally replied, his voice thick with some unreadable emotion.

“Different how?” she asked, feeling hopeless. She didn’t even want to know the answer, but morbid curiosity forced her to ask. “Because she was beautiful and talented and clever?”

“Because I didn’t love her!” the furious response came out of the darkness. The two of them inhaled sharply in unison at the revelation, as though it had caught them both off guard. And maybe it had.

“What did you say?” Rose asked, unsure she had heard him the first time. He didn’t answer. “Doctor? Do you love me?”

And then he pressed his lips firmly against her own, stealing her breath and sending her heart racing again, though this time not due to anxiety. She gasped, one quick breath. “Doctor, are you sure...?”

But she couldn’t complete the question, because he took the opportunity to first nibble gently on her lower lip before thrusting his tongue into her open mouth. Having waited so long for this moment to come, she couldn’t muster the will to raise a second protest, though a part of her knew she probably should. She sighed against him, and he squeezed her closer to him. The kiss felt like it lasted forever and yet was over all too quick. He pulled back from her just slightly and caressed her face briefly before moving to brush his lips against the curve of her neck. She shivered, her nipples growing hard. She felt him get up from the bed, and wondered if he had panicked, realizing what he was doing. She waited, her breath frozen in her chest as she listened for the sound of the door opening and closing. Instead, she heard the whisper of fabric moving as it fell to the floor, and the creak of the bedsprings as he climbed back into the bed with her. Pressed together in the confined space of the dorm bed, Rose could feel immediately the evidence of the Doctor’s nudity between them. Again, his lips stole her own and she was more than happy to let him, giddy even, unbelieving of what was happening. Though she had daydreamed about it more times than she cared to count, she had never thought the day would actually come when the Doctor and her would...

And then she felt a different kind of tugging at her head, not on her hair, but in her mind, a gentle nudging like someone begging entrance. She recognized it immediately for what it was, and the next time she felt the push of the Doctor’s mind against her own she didn’t push back and let him in to envelope her. She was only vaguely aware of him trailing burning hot kisses down the length of her torso (where had her shirt gone?), more enraptured in the mental sensation of him filling her mind. Her attention was snapped back to the physical plane when he gently pulled her knees apart so he could kneel between her thighs, pull her knickers off her hips and kiss her _there_.

“Oh my God,” she gasped before she could clap a hand over her mouth. She swore she felt him smile against her skin at the exclamation. Whatever thoughts had been in her mind evaporated like summer rain on hot pavement as the Doctor’s clever tongue proved that it was good for much more than just clever words. It didn’t take long for an orgasm like no other to rip through her body, her fingers drumming against the mattress and clutching at the sheets as she came. 

The Doctor waited a moment for her to recover before he hoisted himself up to straddle her hips. He paused there, letting his fingers trace delicate patterns across her skin. He traced the curve of her jaw, the shell of her ear, the little indents of her collarbones, the swell of her breasts. He fluttered kisses across her shoulders, up the nape of her neck, and underneath the tender spot below her ear. She cried out and bucked her hips against him, making her desire known, and when he finally thrust up into her she saw civilizations rise and fall and stars burn and collapse into themselves.

There were no words between them, because there didn’t need to be. Their minds were connected, and Rose could feel the Doctor in every secret part of herself. Her whole life, all her memories and hopes and dreams and fears, it was all there laid bare for him, as plain and obvious as the overwhelming love she felt for the Time Lord. He didn’t move against her but with her, each thrust and stroke and movement tender and deliberate and meant to please her. He was literally reading her mind and responding accordingly, and though she couldn’t tell what he was thinking she could feel him and feel the way he felt about her, and she wanted to believe that it felt like love. She couldn’t quite tell though because her mind was full of musical sounds that seemed like words but not quite and all of them seemed so much bigger and more complicated than four little letters of love. She understood that this was a part of him too, ancient and forever. 

Heat pooled at her center as she felt her pleasure building, and she could feel his pace grow more urgent as he neared his own climax. She grabbed his shoulders, dug her fingernails in and arched her back against him, crying out as she came for a second time. She felt him tense like a coil and then he gasped and sighed against her, and the two of them collapsed against the bed, panting and sweating. For a moment she almost expected him to roll right off and away, like it hadn’t happened. But he made no effort to move, instead hugging her against him and burying his face in her neck. Rose felt she could now say with some authority that she knew what it felt like to have your mind blown.

“You are beautiful, Rose. So beautiful, so wonderful, and so much more clever than you even know,” he whispered, his breath warm and moist against her ear. He moved so that he was next to her then, and he pulled her against him so that her head was resting on his chest. She knew that the moment would be spoiled with words, and after all of that she didn’t even know that she could find the right words anyway. She was contented to just lie there with him.

“Rose.”

“Roooose...”

“Rooooooooooooose...”

Distant voices were calling her name, beckoning her out of her dream-memory. She clung to it desperately, not ready yet to leave the Doctor’s arms, knowing that whatever was on the other side of those voices couldn’t possibly be as good as lying here with him in the afterglow, dream-memory or not. The voices grew dim and then faded again. Still, there was a nagging at the back of her mind, as though she were forgetting something important...


	26. Human Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dr. London have it out, and Rose awakens with questions.

The ticking of the clock was maddeningly loud to him as he sat, staring not at Rose but at a spot on the wall directly above her head. He couldn’t bear to look at her like this, to see the evidence of his complete failure as a protector written all over her body in the form of bruises and gashes. He couldn’t even bear to think about the rest of it, so instead he thought about how he would kill whoever it was that had poisoned him. Given that person was likely a Time Lord meant some consideration had to go into it, not all methods would work or be appropriate. Blood, and anger, and revenge. That was all that was in his head right now. Maybe he’d shoot them. That’d be ironic. Shoot them once, wait until they started to regenerate, and shoot them again. The ultimate crime for his people, killing one of their own in such a manner. 

But then they weren’t his people, he had to remind himself. Not really. This was another universe, and he was another Doctor, another John Smith. And he was not a Time Lord, just a bastard something-or-other who couldn’t even protect his unborn child or the woman that was his world. Desperately, he thought to himself that the Doctor would’ve succeeded where John Smith had failed. The Doctor would never have allowed this to happen...

“Dr. Smith?”

Dr. London was standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. _’As well she should be_ ’, he thought to himself. He sneered a little, unconsciously. He still didn’t trust this woman as far as he could throw her. And what was she even doing here still, anyway? All this trouble had started around the time she arrived, and he still couldn’t help but think she was connected to it all somehow. And her uncanny resemblance to Donna Noble...well, that was just too odd to be coincidence, wasn’t it? Something about her was all wrong, though, and she made him feel prickly.

“I’m terribly sorry to intrude on you, but we really need to talk about scheduling Rose for a D&C. Unfortunately, it’ll be necessary due to the traumatic manner in which the pregnancy was terminated. She’s not conscious, so you’ll have to consent for her,” Anne offered apologetically.

“You want my permission to scrape what’s left of my dead child out of the body of my comatose soon-to-be wife? Yeah sure, knock your bloody socks off,” he spat at her contemptuously.

She fixed him with a long and even stare. “Now you listen here Smith, because I’ve had just about enough of you. I know you’re devastated about the accident and the baby, but I did not do those things and you need to stop taking it out on me so I can give Rose the best care possible. Never mind the fact that she never should have survived a fall into an open mine shaft, you should be thankful. Her recovery so far is remarkable, coma aside. But it’s still a long road ahead of you two, coming back from a fall like that. You can’t do it alone.”

“I’m perfectly capable of caring for Rose, so you can leave anytime you like.”

“Yes, perfectly capable. I never said you weren’t. But surely, in light of everything that’s happened, you might be willing to accept just a bit of help? Because it was while you were incapacitated that all this happened to Rose in the first place. You went through quite an ordeal yourself, and you’ve had no time to process that because the moment you woke up you were confronted by the news of Rose’s accident. Please, just let me help you.”

“Everything here was fine until you showed up! I think you’ve helped quite enough already,” he said, his tone growing increasingly darker.

“Everything was fine. Really?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “This island’s got a bit of a reputation, mate. I’m just sayin’. You’re Torchwood intelligence, so you tell me. What exactly do you think is going on here?”

“Who are you, really? Who is Dr. Anne London?” he asked, squaring his jaw at her.

“I asked first.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t trust you. So I guess you’re going to have to give me a little incentive. Quid pro quo, and you go first. Tell me who you are, Dr. Anne. Make me trust you,” he said, leaning back in his chair and staring at her.

“This is stupid. If there’s something you want to know, just ask me,” she replied crossly. “I hardly think now is the time to be playing mind games.”

“If you still think this is a game then you’re confused,” he said softly, unspoken threats implicit in his voice. “I’ll ask you one more time, tell me who you are.”

“I was born Anne Brown, only child of Morgan and Jocelyn Brown. My father was a high ranking officer in the military, so we travelled a lot and I lived in a lot of different places as a child. My mother was a stay at home mum, and I guess maybe I saw her and realized I didn’t want the same thing, and I liked helping people, so I studied to become a doctor. I married a bloke I met in med school. We tried to have kids, but it just never happened. He was killed two years ago in America, in Georgia. He was helping set up a women’s health clinic there, and some crazy anti-choicers bombed the place. It was...terrible,” she finished.

“That sounds like the manic-depressive version of a book jacket cover biography,” he replied indifferently.

She could only stare at him. “I’m not sure what you mean, but alright. I just told you more than anyone here knows about me, including some deeply personal and painful things and you aren’t satisfied with that, so what is it that you really want to know?” she asked, sighing with obvious frustration.

“Well for starters, why do you colour your hair? And lie about it to people.”

“How’d you know I color my hair? And what do you care, anyway? You’re a man, I don’t expect you to understand a woman’s vanity. Although, I feel compelled to maybe take that back after looking at your hair a second time. Maybe you do understand a woman’s vanity,” she said with a smirk.

“Ha! I knew it, you’re naturally ginger, aren’t you?” he asked accusingly, ignoring the jab at himself. “What’s the point of dying your hair when you were already ginger? Unless of course you wanted to hide it?!”

“Enough!” she shouted. “I’ve tried to indulge you, but you’re clearly mad. Nevermind the fact that we haven’t even discussed you and your anomalous blood and anomalous self. You’re dissecting me like I’m the enemy. Rose is comatose and in need of medical care and you want to talk about my bleedin’ hair? I’ll find Jackie Tyler and get her consent for the D&C, because I’m done with you!” 

“Anne, wait!” he called out to her.

“What?” she asked, spinning on her heel to look at him.

“Do you have the time?”

She just stared at him, and shook her head in plain disgust. “I don’t have a watch. There’s a clock on the wall, you’ve been staring at it for hours. Have a nice bloody day, John. If you ever feel like having a civilized human conversation, you know where my office is.”

He stared after her as she retreated down the hallway, his mouth turned down in a grimace. He’d expected to rattle her with his questions, the same way Joan Redfern had rattled John Smith asking about his fabricated past. The conversation had not gone as planned. Perhaps his hunch was wrong, but he was far from finished with Dr. Anne Brown London, whom he still didn’t believe was quite as human as she wanted everyone else to think.

* * * * *

“I wish you two would just come home,” Jackie Tyler murmured softly.

“I hardly think that’s an option at this point,” John replied stonily.

The two of them were sitting next to each other in Rose’s room, waiting. The D&C had gone off without a hitch, but Rose was still unconscious. Neither one of them wanted to talk about the possibility that Rose just might never wake up again, not after taking the tumble she had. They still couldn’t figure out how she hadn’t broken her neck at the angle and height she’d fallen from, but her brain had taken quite a jarring nonetheless. Rose not being okay wasn’t an option either of them were willing to entertain.

“Oh come off it. Going home is always an option, if you two wanted it. Pete could pull some strings, make it happen. This place’ll go on without you two, and I dare say maybe it ought to. I didn’t want you to two to leave in the first place, and now look what’s happened!” Jackie wept in quiet frustration. “It’s just not right, you know? To be told I was going to be a grandmother and then have it yanked away? For Rose and you to lose your first child… It’s not right. This place isn’t right. Please, you must agree it’d be best if you two just came back.”

“I can’t make a decision like that without consulting Rose. This is her project here, it’s up to her whether she wants to abandon it or not,” he said calmly, trying not to let Jackie’s hysterics get to him. He couldn’t deal with her right now, as cruel as that was. He couldn’t deal with anyone or anything, really. That he was even sitting here, instead of dismantling every appliance in a 50 kilometre radius, was some kind of miracle. He thought he’d go barmy if he spent another day sitting here in this hospital room, but he was loathe to leave Rose unattended. What if she woke up and he wasn’t there?

If she ever woke up, that was.

“You never had any problem making decisions for Rose before, not if you thought they were in her best interest. Some timing for you to decide she can make decisions for herself after all,” Jackie sniffed.

“The Doctor made decisions for Rose without asking her, and she hated it. I’m not like the Doctor, Jackie. The longer I exist, the more that is becoming evident,” he sighed.

She looked at him for a long moment before she stood up. “Sometimes I wonder. One heart or not, you still look and sound and talk just like the Doctor. And even he knew when to retreat,” Jackie said.

“Take it from me, Jackie, he certainly _did not_ know when to retreat. And sometimes people got hurt because he didn’t know when to give up,” he said, before realizing what he’d done. He’d played right into her trap. To Jackie, the Doctor and John Smith were all one and the same.

Jackie raised her eyebrows knowingly at him. “Well you said it, not me. I think you guys ought to come home. Whatever is going on here, don’t let my daughter become collateral damage. And if you do..well, you won’t need to worry about having only one heart. Because if she gets hurt...well, I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you and bring you back to life so I can kill you again. I’m going to grab a cuppa, think it’s about time. D’you want anything?”

“Only you could threaten a man’s life and ask him if he wants tea in the same breath, Jackie Tyler,” he replied with no malice in his voice. “But I’ll take a coffee, actually, since you’re asking. Black.”

“Don’t know why you insist on punishing yourself like that, but okay,” she shrugged. “Be back in a mo.”

Jackie was gone longer than a moment, but he didn’t mind. Trying to keep up conversation with his future mother-in-law when all this was going on seemed like an expenditure that wasn’t quite worth the effort needed to sustain it. He stared at his feet, stared at the wall, stared anywhere but at the figure laying prone in the bed.

“Hey,” a dry whisper broke the silence. He jerked his head up to look, and saw that Rose was awake and peering at him through half-closed eyes.

“Hey,” he said in a choked voice, relief washing over him. He scooted closer to the bed, so he could reach out and take her hand. She squeezed his hand weakly and made an attempt at smiling. She put her other hand on his chest, over the spot where his second heart would’ve been. She felt for a moment, and then withdrew, shaking her head in silent confirmation.

“What? What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing. I...I was just dreaming, that’s all.”

“Dreaming what?” he asked with a frown, figuring he might already know the answer.

“I dreamt we were back on Krop Tor. Well...me and the Doctor. It was less like a dream, more like a memory actually. But it felt so real! I was dreaming about...well,” she said, blushing. 

He didn’t need her to fill in the blanks. The memory was the Doctor’s, but it was his too, and he remembered quite well what had happened on Krop Tor that might be making Rose blush. “Ah, yes. Krop Tor. Where we almost but not quite went domestic,” he said, choosing not to acknowledge what had happened between him and Rose there in more specific terms.

“I’d say we did go domestic, actually. Domestic for Rose and the Doctor, anyway. It’s weird, to dream about it now. I mean, obviously it was something I thought about quite a lot after it happened. But that was years ago, and things are different now…” she said.

“Yes, they certainly are different,” he agreed with her, wondering why they were discussing what felt like ancient history instead of the very real and pressing present they were currently living in.

“We never talked about it. What happened,” she said quietly. 

“I know,” he replied, wondering where she was going with this. Wherever it was, he was pretty sure he didn’t like it. “I don’t suppose I need to tell you that talking about touchy-feely stuff like emotions was hardly the Doctor’s forte. Nothing like encountering the Devil in outer space to take the focus off of...all that stuff.”

‘Why do you keep doing that? Talking about him like he’s all that different from you,” Rose said, sounding a bit cross.

“Isn’t he though, Rose? Different from me? Maybe I can say I love you where he couldn’t, but he would’ve kept you safe,” he replied despondently.

“Oh, hush. I don’t want to talk about that. I just want to talk about why. Because we never did, not me and the Doctor, not me and John. We never talked about why you chose then to make a move, when you could’ve a dozen times before. We never talked about any of it. Not what happened in that dorm room on Krop Tor, not what happened between you and Madame de Pompadour…”

“I wish you’d stop saying that. I wasn’t the one who did any of those things Rose, he was. The Doctor. Not me. I’m different, and you have to know and believe that. If I wasn’t different, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Tears were prickling her eyes now. “But you’re the closest thing I’ve got to him. And I...I just need to know. Because I never got closure, and his thoughts are your thoughts, so just tell me why. Make me understand what he was thinking that night.”

“Rose...why now? Why does it matter, after all this time? That was years ago, it was ages! We just lost our baby, we almost lost each other...and you want to talk about the first time we had sex?”

“Yeah, I know. And some things haunt you for years. And ages,” she said. She didn’t need to specify, the implication was there in her voice. The Time War, yet another thing that had gone largely undiscussed between them. “Was that all it was to you, then? Just sex?”

“Yes! I mean, no! I mean..oh bollocks, I don’t even know what I mean,” he said, putting his head in his hands. “It’s so much more complicated than all that, Rose. It’s not an easy question to answer, not really.”

“Well could you please try?”

He took a deep breath, and thought about how to best explain it all without making her hate the Doctor, or him. Whoever he was, now even he wasn’t so sure of it at the moment. “Well...first thing’s first...I was a rubbish Time Lord, just so you know. Now I know, don’t look at me like that. It’s the truth. Hard to imagine, I suppose, for a human. People looked at me, or rather they looked at the Doctor, and they saw a god. A being almost a thousand years old, dashing in at the last minute, righting wrongs, saving worlds. They all held me up to a standard that I always tried to meet but failed at more times than I care to admit. I couldn't be perfect, because the Doctor isn't a god, he's just a lonely, tired old man. But a man nonetheless, not a god, and all men are capable of making mistakes. All men ultimately seek redemption, whether it's in religion, science, the arms of a lover. Including the Doctor.

You wouldn’t know of course, because the only Time Lord you ever knew was the Doctor, but the Time Lords were kind of stodgy. Uptight, stuffy patricians with horrible hats and no sense of romance. I...well, the Doctor was always different. They used to say it was because there was supposedly human blood on my mother’s side, but I loved all the things a Time Lord shouldn’t.”

Rose interjected, a note of incredulity in her voice. “Wait, hold on? You-the Doctor...was part human?”

“Yeah well, on Gallifrey being part human was as bad as being of mixed race in America in the early twentieth century. It didn’t matter if it was true or not, it was not the sort of thing you talked about. Everyone suspected, of course, but it was just something they talked about behind my back. My father’s family were kind of a bunch of rogues, I’m sure that will come as a surprise. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Maybe there was human blood somewhere in my family. But I always loved doing...well, human things. Things that were supposedly below the lofty Time Lords. Traveling and being friendly with humans was one of those things, of course, which they frowned upon heavily. I was even forced to regenerate once and exiled to Earth as punishment for meddling too much in human affairs. The only reason they put up with my shenanigans was because I was clever and just mad enough to do the dirty jobs that they wanted doing but didn’t want to sully their non-interfering lily white Time Lord hands with.”

“They made you regenerate? That sort of thing didn’t violate some intergalactic space laws or something? No Shadow Proclamation to take up for you?” she asked, temporarily forgetting the question that had brought them to this conversation in the first place.

“Gallifrey had its own laws, its own system of justice that operated separately and outside the parameters of organizations like the Shadow Proclamation. Having them intervene to try to stop it would’ve been like Monaco trying to take a stance to end the World War,” he said with a chuckle.

“Which World War?” she asked.

“Does it matter? The point is, it would’ve been futile. But that’s not the point, not really. You asked me a question...and five plus years later, I think you deserve an answer. So I’m trying, in a roundabout way, to get there. I promise, all this has a point. You said you wanted to understand, so I’m trying to explain to you so that you understand. The Doctor was and is like no other Time Lord. The Time Lords didn’t really like the Doctor, they were ambivalent about him at best. So in the absence of their rules...well, I indulged in all the human things I liked doing.”

“Such as…?” she pressed.

“Such as imbibing alcohol. Playing cricket. Shopping. Going to all-you-can-eat buffets. Dancing. Having sex. Oh...Rose, I wish you could understand. Because you can’t, not really.

Sex is such a weird thing for humans, it has weird emotional attachments and stuff, but it’s also how you procreate. That makes it complicated. For Time Lords, sex was just another activity because we were capable of reproducing in other ways as well. It didn’t mean anything, it didn’t have those weird taboos and attachments. No one cared if you did it with someone you weren’t married to, or even how many partners you’d had. No one got pregnant that didn’t want to. No one got diseases having sex. If anything, they just looked down on it in general because they believed Time Lords should be above such basic things like hormonal urges. It was an activity some Time Lords chose to engage in for pleasure, but it was definitely stigmatized, even more so when it came to humans. The forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest.”

“Forbidden because it was considered interfering?” she asked, completely absorbed in what he was telling her.

“Well yes, but more so because Time Lords are inherently psychic and most humans are not. Sex is so emotional for humans, even the ones who don’t really seem to care, it just...it opens up the mind completely. A Time Lord having sex with a human could potentially see _everything_ going through that person’s mind, if they wanted to. But more than that, they could feel it, too. Feel what the other person was feeling, the pleasure, the pain, the love...all of those things. If I had to equate it to anything, I suppose I’d say it was kind of like doing drugs. It felt intoxicating. You could get so lost in the other person...that’s why the Time Lords frowned upon it. Because it made them feel, and feelings couldn’t be dealt with using math and logic and reason.”

Rose swallowed hard, trying to process what he was telling her. “Did you...did the Doctor do that to me? Read my mind, feel my feelings?”

He hung his head, cheeks burning in shame. “Yes. Yes he...I did. Because when you have sex with a human that loves you...honest to god loves you...well, that’s like the best high, the best feeling ever. You can close yourself off to the other person’s thoughts and emotions, if you’re a Time Lord, but I didn’t want to. Not with you. I knew you loved me, and I loved you too, even if I wasn’t brave enough to say it. I thought though that if I couldn’t say it to you in words, maybe I could at least try to let you feel how I felt about you. With the TARDIS presumed lost, you were all I had left. I knew I couldn’t run from my feelings for you any more, or at least I thought I couldn’t. I really did want to tell you I loved you, but I was afraid.”

The admission was met with a silence that was almost deafening. He held his breath, waiting for Rose to say something, anything.

“I wasn’t sure if those feelings were real, or just my own wishful thinking. But yeah...I felt it. I wasn’t sure if it was love, but I felt it. I guess that’s what you meant when you said it was different with Madame de Pompadour,” she said.

He just shook his head and sighed. “Rose...whatever it is you think happened between the Doctor and Madame de Pompadour, I can promise you it was absolutely nothing even remotely similar to what happened between you two on Krop Tor.”

“You know, you keep saying that you aren’t the Doctor, that you’re not like him...but you kept saying ‘I’ almost the whole way through that story,” Rose said mildly, catching his gaze. He met her gaze for a moment, but then looked down and away again.

Jackie Tyler came breezing back in at that moment, toting a thermos and a sleeve of paper cups and effectively ending their conversation. “The coffee maker was on the fritz, so tea it’ll be and no complain-Rose!”

John and Rose both cringed a little at the high pitch of Jackie shrieking in what sounded like a mix of relief and delight. Jackie set the thermos and cups down on the table and rushed to the side of the bed to capture Rose in a very careful but enthusiastic hug.

“Mum...please...dial it down a notch,” Rose squeaked.

“Oh hush now, I thought I was going to lose you there for a minute! Just sit still and let me smother you with motherly love for a bit longer,” Jackie admonished.

“Given I can barely move, I don’t suppose I’ve much of a choice,” Rose grumbled, but she didn’t protest further.

“Oh sweetheart, I was so scared for you. And so sad. The baby…” Jackie said, her voice trembling.

“I know, mum. Believe me...I haven’t had a moment to think about it, and I don’t honestly want to right now. I’m in enough pain as it is without dwelling on what could’ve been.”

“Rose, I’m begging you. Please come home. You gave it a go here, you did, but now it’s time to come home. Pete will find something for you to do back in the home office. Please, I miss you, Pete and Tony miss you. I didn’t want you to go in the first place, and now what’s come of it? Nothing good, that’s for sure. Just pain and heartache, for you too and for us worrying about you all the way in bloody Norway. Please...just come home,” Jackie pleaded.

John was poised, waiting for Rose’s protest. But it never came.

“Maybe you’re right,” Rose sighed, sagging back against her pillows.

“What?!” John and Jackie both asked in unison.


	27. Bleeding Through to Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The oncoming storm finally makes landfall.

Dr. London looked sadly around the tiny cottage as she packed her bag. All she could do was shake her head and think that it took almost nothing for things to go entirely pear-shaped. She was heartbroken for poor Rose Tyler, who’d had it all and lost it in the blink of an eye. And that man...Dr. Smith. Well, he was just so damned angry and hostile! And a bit mad, too, honestly. Maybe he really was part alien, that would explain the anomalies in his blood work. She had tried to get in touch with her supervisor several times about how to handle that, but her cell phone never seemed to work when she needed to call him, and half the emails she sent got bounced back to her anyway. The whole situation was starting to get a little weird, and part of her was glad she was leaving it behind. With Rose and John leaving to return to England, she had no reason to be here, not really and she wasn’t sure she wanted to get stuck in the middle of whatever strangeness was going on between the two of them anyway. Maybe the locals had been right. Maybe this place was cursed or haunted. Nothing good had happened the whole time she’d been there, only heartache and misery.

Outside the wind was picking up, whipping through the trees and howling like some unnatural creature. Clouds were rolling in over the island, and the air was heavy with the promise of rain. Anne felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle, and she shivered. It was definitely spooky out here in the woods. Why had she taken a cottage so far away from the rest of the encampment anyway? Looking at the black clouds gathering in the sky and the moon trying to force its way through them, she couldn’t help but hope the ferry wouldn’t be delayed by the storm. She didn’t want to be stuck here any longer. Something besides the storm was in the air, charging it with an electricity that she could feel crackling subtly around her. The lightbulb in her lamp flickered once and then popped loudly, plunging the room into darkness. 

Anne couldn’t help herself, she let out a little shriek and felt immediately silly. The storm had just caused a minor power surge, that was all. She reached for the box of matches she knew was in the bedside table and shakily lit the cheap vanilla candle sitting there. When she turned back to her half-packed bag on the bed, there was a dark, hooded figure standing there behind her. Before she had a chance to scream a second time, the figure clapped one hand over her mouth.

* * * * *

Rose and John stood together on the rocks, watching the ferry come in. She felt numb, and it wasn’t just the frigid Norwegian wind making her feel that way. She tightened her grip on John’s hand and laid her head against his chest, feeling guilty that once again she found herself wishing she could hear the comforting rhythm of two hearts beating there instead of just the one. Her feelings were so mixed about everything right now, she wasn’t even sure what emotions she was experiencing, just that they were there and she was tired and felt so heav. To say things had been tense between them the last few days while they were preparing to leave would be an understatement. Something had changed between them, but she was damned if she knew what it was, exactly. For the first time in a very long time, John had been nearly silent, but whenever she looked at him she could see the wheels turning. He didn’t share with her what he was thinking, but she could imagine. The Doctor had been known as the Oncoming Storm for good reason, and she knew that all of those reasons lived inside the darkest part of John’s single human heart. Or maybe it was bad reason, actually. She shivered against him, and though he drew her closer, he remained silent. Rose felt herself slowly growing hysterical. Was this how it was going to go on between them now? She didn’t think she could bear it.

“I still love you, you know. What happened here...it wasn’t your fault, and I don’t blame you for it. No one does, we all know you did your best. I just think you ought to know that,” she whispered. He sighed gruffly in response, but said nothing else, not even when she began to cry. Instead, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a crumpled handful of tissue and business card. The card belonged to Dr. London. He smoothed the tissue out and handed it to her. She took it from him, but he refused to meet her gaze. He was staring at the business card in his hand like he’d just been slapped.

“Oh my God, it was there in front of my face the whole time. I was just too bloody thick to see it!” he exclaimed.

“What, what is it?” she asked, peering at the business card. It just had Anne’s name and occupation, and her Torchwood contact information on it. Nothing special. She couldn’t see what he was getting so worked up over, but then again she found that more lately than not that had been the case.

“Her name, Rose, her bloody name! It was a message, just like Bad Wolf was. And there’s absolutely no way it could be a coincidence,” he said, pacing furiously.

“What are you bloody rambling on about? What about her name, John? I don’t know what you’re even talking about,” Rose replied, frustrated.

“Anne Brown London. Which here on her card, it’s abbreviated to Anne B. London. And do you know what Anne B. London is, Rose? It’s an anagram. Oh, it’s so simple, I should’ve seen it sooner!”

“Well don’t just leave me guessing, what’s it an anagram for?”

“Anne B. London is an anagram for Donna Noble!”

* * * * *

“Listen, it’s very important that you listen to me and don’t scream. I promise I’m not going to hurt you, but you have to listen to me because we don’t have much time. Well, technically we do...but yeah, maybe now’s not the time to get into that bit. Your name is not Anne London, it’s Donna. And you aren’t a human, you’re a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey,” Jack said.

“I am quite certain I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know who you are, or what you want, but I just want to get off this island. Please, just let me go. I mean scan me if you want to, but I’m obviously human. Any test you perform will confirm that,” Anne said, desperation in her voice. 

“No, you aren’t. You aren’t human, you’ve just been made to think you are. They Chameleon Arched you against your will and sent you here to do their dirty work. They sent both of us here to do their dirty work, and now they have your mother and they’re set on going to war. Donna...please. I know you’re in there. I know part of you can here me and understand what I’m saying, I can see it it your eyes. I don’t have the watch, they do, but you can wake up, if you want to. You just have to remember.”

“Stop it, just stop it! You’re a goddamn nutter, that’s all you are. I’m human!” Anne insisted.

Jack reached into the folds of his cloak and produced a small, sparkling object. A flawless diamond, the most beautiful Anne had ever seen. He held it out to her, and then pressed it into her hand when she wouldn’t take it. “Do you know what that is?” he asked.

“It’s a diamond, dummy. A flippin’ huge one, but a diamond. What is this, geology hour? First I’m an alien, now I’m supposed to be a gem nut, too?”

“Yes, it’s a diamond, but what kind of diamond?” he prodded.

Anne stared at it for a while, turning it around in her hands. It felt strange. It looked like a diamond, but holding it produced a strange hum that she felt in her heart, and she didn’t know of any gem on Earth that would do that sort of thing. “I don’t know, but it’s giving me the willies. Take it back, please.”

Jack just stood there, but made no move to take it back from her. He crossed his arms and looked at her. “Tell me what it is, Donna.”

“Take it back, I don’t want to hold it any more, just take it back!” she cried hysterically.

“Tell me what it is!” he roared back at her, not with unkindness but with urgency.

“It’s a White Point Star Diamond!” she finally blurted out. The words rang true when she heard them, but she had no idea where they had come from. All she knew was that she was starting to get the worst headache of her life.

“Good. It’s coming back to you. It’s a White Point Star Diamond, from your home planet. It’s the only place in the universe that has diamonds like these. Do you know what it’s for, though?”

“No...I mean...maybe? It hummed when I held it. It’s telepathic...or it’s used by telepaths? It has something to do with creating telepathic links,” she said, sounding unsure of herself.  
Jack smiled and hugged her tightly. “Yes it does. And that’s why we’re going to go destroy it, because this particular diamond is being used by the Time Lords to keep track of you. We’re going to ditch it, and then we’re going to try to save your mother...Donna?”

“Jack...I poisoned him. Oh my God...it was me,” Donna whispered, the memories beginning to come back. 

“Yes...it was you. But you did it without knowing, they made you do it. That’s why we’ve got to get rid of this diamond. And try to figure out how to make you Time Lord again without that stupid watch. But we’ve really got to get moving, because…”

“I poisoned him, Jack! He could’ve died, and I did it to him!”

“He was never in any danger of dying, Donna, you have to know that. You incapacitated him long enough for the rest of Rassilon’s plan to work itself out...including Rose’s unfortunate accident. It wasn’t your fault, and he wasn’t ever going to die and neither was she. Not if you believe the prophecy, anyway.”

“Oh to hell with the sodding prophecy! I poisoned and nearly killed my own grandfather and the goddamn Time Lords made me do it!”

* * * * *

John arrived at Anne’s cabin, breathless. The only light was from a small candle that had been left burning, and the wick was nearly drowning in the wax, flickering rapidly. The dim light cast menacing shadows on the wall as John looked around the room desperately, searching for something and someone he knew was already gone. There was a strange smell in the air, and he knew that Donna had left the island, and probably the galaxy as well. He had spent months looking for her, and she had slipped right through his fingers.

They heard him screaming all the way down by the dock.

* * * * *

“You look a million light years away,” Rose said, smoothing lotion onto her bare legs. “What’re you thinking about?”

“Mmm, nothing. Just how beautiful you are and how lucky I am,” he said, planting a kiss on her forehead. He set the book he was reading down on the bedside table and removed his glasses.

“That’s sweet and all, but it’s a lie. What’s really on your mind? We’ve barely discussed everything that happened in Norway…” she said, climbing into bed next to him.

“It’s just...I don’t know. When Donna left us, she told me that she would see me again on the day that what I’d lost was restored to me. What do you think that even means?” he asked.

“I’m not sure, but when were you going to tell me she said that. Donna left us months ago, you didn’t think that information was pertinent then?” Rose said crossly.

“I’m sure it’s pertinent to something, obviously. But what? Did she know what was going to happen on the island? I’d like to think not, that she would’ve warned us. But I don’t know...if her father is who I think he is, she may just be insane enough to have wanted all it to happen and to have led us there to it,” he said, sounding forlorn.

“Well, I may not be a Time Lord, but my human gut instinct tells me that Donna wouldn’t do that to us. Well...maybe not to you. I’m still not entirely sure that she wasn’t ambivalent about me, but I don’t think she’d go out of her way to cause us harm. She was hiding something, you know. She was just...weird around you, and I don’t think it was just the Time Lord stuff, since you aren’t a full-on Time Lord anyway.”

“Rub it in, why don’t you?” he said, but there was no malice in his voice, only an apathy that made Rose’s heart ache for him. He still hadn’t forgiven himself for what had happened on the island, no matter how many times she reassured him that there was nothing he could’ve done about it. “She was probably the one who poisoned me, you know. Or at least she must have helped. Only a Time Lord would have the knowledge to create a poison like that.”

“You don’t know that, John. You still don’t even know that it was her for sure, although I agree...it’d almost be too bizarre if it weren’t her, not after that thing with the names. But my point was that she acted like she knew you, somehow. Not just sensed your Time Lord bits, or whatever, but that she had knowledge of the Doctor.”

“She was different with me, like she knew something I didn’t. I sensed that, too, and the one day I almost thought she would tell me. But then she didn’t, and my telepathic abilities are severely weakened in this body so I couldn’t even try to pry it out of her. It’s just...I thought everyone was gone, you know? To find out Gallifrey still exists...oh Rose, I want to go home so bad. But this Gallifrey..it won’t be my home. And I know that. But it would be close enough and I would give almost anything to see those skies in person one last time, without the smoke and fire and the miasma of war and death hanging over it like a fog. Without the bodies of everyone I ever knew and loved laying dead around me. With the wedding and the baby to look forward to, it was easier to put that behind me. Now, it feels like that’s all I can think about. Think about how I failed Gallifrey, and I failed you, and I failed the child that will never be...and all I can think is that maybe blood and anger and revenge is all I’m good for, that I just muck everything else up.”

“That’s not even true!” Rose whispered fiercely. “That’s not true, and you know it, so just stop. You think I’m not sad, too? That I’m not crushed and heartbroken that I lost my baby and had to walk away from my pet project? I need you, John...I need you right now, but I feel like you’ve built the Great Wall between us and I don’t know how to get to you. I want to comfort you, but you’ve been keeping me at arm’s length since we got home. The wedding is in a couple of weeks...and I don’t know how I feel about that. Because right now I feel like I don’t know you anymore, and I don’t want to marry a stranger.”

“I always was a stranger, Rose. You think you’ve seen the darkest parts of me? You haven’t even scratched the surface. The Doctor kept all that from you for a reason...because he didn’t want you to hate him. And neither do I. So maybe some things are just best left in the past. The Doctor’s past, anyway, but Rose, you and I need to figure out who it is exactly that you want me to be. Because I’m not sure. Sometimes you look at me and I know you aren’t seeing John Smith, you’re seeing the Doctor. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t even know. You think you love the Doctor, but you don’t even know him, Rose. And wherever he is, it sure as hell isn’t here. Because if he were here...none of this would’ve happened.”

Rose was silent.

“I don’t know who I am Rose, I just know that I love you. That every breath I draw, every beat of this single human heart...it’s all for you. And it kills me, because I want to be different than the Doctor. I don’t want to make the same mistakes he made, because people got hurt, you got hurt. But then you look at me like that, like you’re wishing it were him instead of me, and I just about die inside every time. I don’t think you realize when you do it, but it hurts. All I ever wanted for you was your happiness. So I don’t know what to do. Try to be John Smith, try to be the good parts of the Doctor and let the rest go..or try to be the Doctor in this universe. Because the Doctor couldn’t show Rose Tyler that he loved her, couldn’t say those words. I don’t want to be that tired, scared, old man any more..but if that’s what you really want…”

“Please, just shut up,” Rose sobbed. So he did. After a few minutes of silence, he sighed and turned the bedside light off. 

A few minutes later, she drew up against him and draped her arm over his side. Her breath was warm on the bare skin of his neck. “I’m sorry. For making you feel that way. You should be whoever you want to be, and I’ll consider myself lucky for having the privilege either way. Because the Doctor was wonderful, but so are you, and it’s all the ways you are different that make you so wonderful. You can still be the Doctor and be John, too. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. There is good in you...I know, because I’ve seen it. One heart or two, you would give it all up to save the rest of us, or even just me.”

“After everything we’ve been through, being together shouldn’t be the thing that tears us apart,” he whispered, squeezing her hand. “I still want to marry you.”

“I know. I still want to marry you, too.”

“Just a few more weeks,” he said, squeezing her hand once more.

“Yeah...a few more weeks, and then the rest of our life begins.”

* * * * *

Rose was trying to distract herself, and failing miserably at it. John hadn't stirred in some time and was so still, in fact, that Tony and her mother had set up the checkerboard and started playing a game on his chest. It would be funny, if not for the seriousness of the situation. She knew they were just trying to cheer her up, but at this point she was inconsolable. The only thing that would make her feel better would be to see those warm brown eyes meeting her own. Preferably in the next few hours, as time was running short, but any time at all would be acceptable. She couldn't bear the thought that he just might never wake up again, and refused to even entertain the idea.

She just wanted it to all be okay.

A sudden, sharp knock at the door jarred her out of her thoughts. Tony and her mother both stopped the game and looked at her expectantly. Sighing, she unfolded herself from the bed and went to look through the peep hole. A rather frazzled looking Pete stood on the other side.

“Hi, dad,” she mustered. 'What's going on?”

“Go look out your window. I think there's something you'll want to see out on the beach,” he said, taking her by the elbow and urging her toward the other side of the room. She went to the window, pulled the curtain aside, and felt her stomach do a somersault.

Down on the beach was an unmistakable sight, a weathered blue box with a back lit black sign: Police Public Call Box. Just at that moment the door opened inward, and Rose caught a glimpse of the person on the other side, familiar and still wholly unexpected.

The shocked silence in the hotel room was deafening. Rose stood at the window looking down at the figure, who just stood there, waiting expectantly. Pete, Jackie and Tony all stood at a distance behind her, watching.

The silence was shattered by the sound of violent coughing and gasping, and the clatter of the checkers game falling to the floor. Rose turned to look, in time to see John force himself up onto his elbows into a sitting position.

“Rose...is that really you? It can’t be. Am I dreaming this? Why am I naked in the middle of a Tyler family reunion unless I’m dreaming?” he asked, obviously disoriented.

“Jackie, I think now might be a good time to get Tony and go back to the room,” Pete urged quietly. For once even Jackie couldn’t find a good argument, having been rendered speechless by the strangeness of the past few hours. She collected Tony, who protested loudly.

“Doctor?” Rose croaked.

“You were expecting Sherlock Holmes?” he asked, shakily getting to his feet. “Pete...a moment, if you would?”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, mate,” Pete suggested.

“Please...dad. Just give us a few minutes,” Rose pleaded, and Pete didn’t have the heart to turn her down, not with the look that was in her eyes. He slipped out the door wordlessly, locking it behind him and leaving the two of them alone.

“It’s really me,” he said, answering the unspoken question that was hanging there. She put her hands on his chest and felt two hearts beating there, albeit the right one a bit weakly.

“How?” she asked.

“Because apparently there are still some weak spots in the walls of the universe, and we were bleeding through to each other. I saw you, that one day in the hospital. I told you I loved you because I wanted to make sure you knew, even if I never saw you again. I wasn’t sure if it was real, I thought then that maybe I was dreaming it because I wanted to see you and tell you how I really felt so badly. But I haven’t been dreaming...the Meta Crisis’ conscious and my own were bleeding together, through those tiny little cracks in the universe. Of course propelling me here, those cracks are probably a bit more wider now,” he said, sounding worried.

Rose could still only stare at him, gobsmacked in disbelief. She ran her fingers across his skin, felt that it was just a little bit cooler. She traced the curve of his jaw, ran her fingers through his hair, and just looked at him. His eyes followed her the whole way, but he said nothing. “What happened to John?” she finally asked.

“I’m still here. John and the Doctor...we’re both the same. That was why things were so weird there for a while...we were literally becoming one person again. John’s memories are my memories, and my memories are John’s memories. It still feels a little weird and foggy, but considering I regenerated across the void and into this universe, a little ‘jet lag’ is to be expected.”

“I wonder if this was what Donna saw that day on Bad Wolf Bay, when she said she saw your future,” Rose mused out loud.

“Maybe,” he agreed. “I missed our wedding, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Rose said quietly, fiddling with the tie on her robe.

“I’m sorry, Rose. I’m so, so sorry. We can still..I mean I can...we can’t go back, but…I'll make it up to you, I promise!” he stammered guiltily.

“I guess it’s lucky then that Donna’s outside on the beach with the TARDIS,” Rose said, her face remarkably stoic.

“What?” he squeaked, dropping the sheet he had gathered around him.


	28. Swallowed in Darkness and Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor, Rose, and Donna finally all meet again, but the Doctor gets more than he bargained for.

Rose couldn’t help but be reminded of the last time she’d stood on this beach with Donna, the Doctor, and the TARDIS. It’d been a different Doctor and a different Donna, but she’d felt like an outsider then just as she did now. Something unspoken was passing between the two Time Lords and though he was holding Rose’s hand tightly in his own as they approached Donna and the TARDIS together, the Doctor felt light years away. Reality felt light years away.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Donna said when they reached the familiar-looking timeship. She was smiling, but it didn’t touch her eyes. “Figured I’d return what I borrowed, didn’t think you’d mind me accelerating the growth process for you. This world isn’t ideal for growing a TARDIS, so I took it somewhere that was. I take it you’ve probably deduced who I am?”

“I have some ideas about it...Donna,” the Doctor replied, putting the emphasis on her name. “But what I really want to know is why your father looks like one of the most insane Time Lords that ever lived in my universe, and why you have the name and face of a woman who was my best friend in another world?”

She seemed genuinely perplexed at this statement. “My father? My father’s just a member of the High Council of the Time Lords. He’s...well, your typical Time Lord. Stodgy and stuffy and kind of boorish. I know he’s got a bit of the crazy-eye to him, but that’s probably because he hasn’t left Gallifrey in years. What do you know of my father?”

“In my universe, he was known as the Master. We were friends, once upon a time, before he went mad. It was Rassilon that made him mad, but he made him evil, too, as a matter of consequence. He was instrumental in the Time War, and the destruction of Gallifrey.”

“No...no, that’s really not ringing any bells. Honestly. Doctor, I know you think there is a connection between us, but I promise you, it isn’t that. My father may be a lot of things, but evil isn’t one of them.”

“Yes well, that brings us right around to the subject of your name and the fact that you are the striking image of a human woman in another world. Unless one of your parents were from my universe, how could they know of her?”

“Donna Noble’s name slipped through the seam and wrote itself in the stars. She is a part of our mythology because she stopped the stars from going out in the other world. The primitive lifeforms of this planet may not be aware of her significance, but the Time Lords certainly are. She was the most important woman in the universe.”

“But you look just like her. And she was my best mate. How can that be coincidence?” he asked.

“There’s no such thing as coincidence, but I’m afraid I cannot say any more. Doctor, I came here to return you your TARDIS so you could flee somewhere, while the walls of this world are still malleable. You and Rose will not be safe if you stay here. A war is coming...a time war. Maybe not a Time War yet, but this is only the beginning and it doesn’t look good. If you’re smart, you’ll take Rose and slip off to some alternate reality before things go bad. I hear E-Space is nice this time of the year.”

“You expect me to just walk away with questions unanswered? Then you really don’t know me, because I’m afraid I can’t do that. I spent months trying to find you, I’m not going to just let you go now.”

“You can and you will, because there is no other choice. The more I tell you, the more danger you are in. Besides, if I told you more, you might take it into your head to stay and that will not do. You need to go. Take Rose, start a life somewhere, and be safe. But not here,” Donna urged.

“I’m not leaving. Rose’s whole life is here. Her parents, her brother, her friends...she’s given up enough to be with the Doctor, I won’t ask her to give it all up yet again.”

“It’s too late. All that will be lost if you try to stay, I promise. You are not a human any more, you can’t go back to playing house and just pretend it will all be okay. It won’t. Rassilon...Rassilon has lost his mind. Something in him changed in the time I was gone from Gallifrey, and he’s gone insane. The rules, the laws...everything the Time Lords put into place to uphold society and keep the universe safe? They might as well not exist. I can’t emphasize this enough-YOU are not safe,” Donna said, and something in her voice told him that she didn’t mean ‘you’ in the general sense that everyone was in danger, but him specifically.

“Why me? What do the Time Lords of this universe know about the Doctor?” he asked.

Donna hesitated, and shook her head. “No, I can’t. I’m sorry. I know you, and I know what you’ll try to do if I tell you. So I can’t. For your own safety and Rose’s, just go and forget you ever knew anything about me or the Gallifrey and Time Lords of this universe..”

“Alright, fine. Rose!” he called, not seeing her immediately at his side. He’d been intensely focused on his conversation with Donna, and had hardly noticed when she’d let go of his hand and wandered around the other side of the TARDIS.

“Fine? You’re just going to go?” Donna asked, incredulous. “No more fighting?”

“Well what’s the point of it all? Talking with you is like talking to a brick wall. So don’t tell me. I’m older and wiser than you, and I’ll find a way. In fact, I’d even be willing to wager that my psychic abilities are developed enough that I could pluck the information I want right from your mind. That I’m not doing just that is only a matter of courtesy. Rose and I will figure it out, we always do. There’s bound to be a library somewhere in this universe with Gallifreyan legends and lores written in it, and I will find it-Rose, come on!” he called again, his tone getting more frustrated.

“Doctor? You might want a look at this,” Donna’s voice came, quiet with disbelief. He turned and his gaze followed the direction of her pointing finger..

At the base of the cliffs stood Rose, enveloped in the glow of the searing white light pouring out of the cracks that were beginning to develop on the rocky walls. The cracks were growing rapidly, and the light continued spilling out. With alarm, the Doctor began sprinting towards Rose and the bottom of the cliffs.

“Rose! Rose, get away from there!” he screamed, but his voice was lost in the wind that seemed to have kicked up suddenly. He stumbled in the sand, but quickly picked himself back up and continued running. As he drew closer, the light increased in intensity and a loud _boom_ like an explosion shattered around him. Thrown from his feet by the impact of whatever it was, he could only tuck into himself and hope he didn’t land against the rocks. He fell back-first against hard-packed sand, knocking the wind from him. His second heart fluttered wildly and for a moment he thought it would stop, but then his respiratory bypass kicked in and he felt his body relax just the slightest. It was almost like he had forgotten how to be a Time Lord, but muscle memory was starting to kick back in. He waited a few moments for the dust to settle before he opened his eyes.

The TARDIS had been knocked backwards onto its side, and Donna’s crumpled form lay prone nearby. “Doctor? What the hell was that? Are you alright?” she called to him, trying to pull herself into a sitting position.

“No,” he replied numbly, staring at the place where Rose had been standing. Like the cracks in the rock wall and the strange light pouring from them, she was gone.

* * * * *

She had been here once before, swallowed in darkness and light and engulfed in flames that burned hot and bright, but not with earthly fire. Somehow though, it was different than before. The pulse of this universe was strange, seemingly more urgent, more arrhythmic with the potential of Time interrupted. Things were happening and unhappening all around her, and she was making it so. Every point in Time bled together, forming a golden thread that artfully wound its way back to her. Her mind searched the ether for **him** , but it was as though an impermeable veil had been pulled tight around her. She was alone in this place, save for one tiny, comforting spark.

Far off in the distance and still somehow completely surrounding her, she heard a sound like drums beating in tandem. She tried to will open her eyes, but her body felt detached from her mind, like she was reaching across a chasm that couldn’t possibly be crossed. She drifted on, unmoving, wrapped in the memories that floated just under the surface, wrapped in Time that was beginning to unravel in on itself.

The Bad Wolf dreamed of things to come.


	29. The Man Who Gave Her Two Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having successfully captured Rose, Rassilon's plot further unwinds. On Bad Wolf Bay, Donna finally reveals to the Doctor who she is.

“How’s it coming, Master of Beakers?” Rassilon asked casually, leaning against the lab doorway. He was dressed for the occasion, which happened to be the fast-approaching emergency council meeting.

“I have a real name, you know,” Donna’s father quipped irritably. “Not that you ever seem to use it. Did they change my name to the Whipping Boy and I missed the memo?”

“Don’t get impertinent with me, Koschei. You are replaceable, after all. Besides, you should take the nickname as a token of my supposed fondness for you. Or at least a token of gratitude that I haven’t decided to kill you yet. Useful Time Lords have a better life expectancy rate, so tell me how it is coming?”

“It’s coming I suppose, albeit a bit slowly. The most dramatic change that you can see is in the brain activity. She dreams a lot. There’s nervous system development, some minor development in the cardiovascular and respiratory systems, but it’s all just creeping along compared to some of the other specimens. Not that this should be taken as a sign of descent or a wish to discontinue the experiment, but I have my misgivings about this. The conversions have been mostly successful, but we’ve never done one on a pregnant woman. It’s taking longer because the body’s attention is divided, so to speak. There are ethical implications here, and I don’t think the Council will look favorably upon them, Sir,” Koschei said, hoping there was no noticeable tremble in his voice that might be mistaken for weakness.

“You let me worry about the Council, Beaker Boy,” Rassilon said disdainfully. “Worry about her. Her nutrient infusion probably has to be adjusted to compensate for the pregnancy. Her body is still mostly human, it’s likely having difficulty coping and providing adequate nutrients for Gallifreyan fetal growth. Increase the amount by 30%, add folic acid and an additional vitamin wash and see if that helps speed the process up.”

“Brilliant Sir, I’m sure that will help. I didn’t even think about that..”

“Yes obviously you didn’t think of it, or I wouldn’t be standing here instructing you to do it. I’m running late for my meeting. If you hear any word of that rapscallion daughter of yours, be sure to let me know. And remember what I said about you being replaceable. I could do your job with my hands tied behind my back, I just don’t want to. Having you work on this leaves me free to pursue...other interests, if you will. Stay useful, Koschei,” Rassilon said coolly, turning to take his leave.

“Rassilon?” Koschei called to the other Time Lord’s back.

“What?”

Koschei hesitated. “How...how is she?”

“How is who?” Rassilon asked, a condescending smirk fixing itself on his lips.

“With all due respect, Lord President, you know who,” Koschei replied boldly.

“Your daughter’s mother lives, if that’s what you’re asking. Though for how much longer, I can’t say. It turns out she was in collusion with the mercenary Time Agent Jack Harkness. Wisely, he’s gone into hiding, but she remains uncooperative and her loyalty to her blood is so strong that even I have been unable to crack past that part of her mind to see what secrets she’s holding. The elders suspect she may have been deliberately obscuring the truth of the prophecy all along to protect Donna.. And as for the other one, she knows something about him. She is not of this universe and neither is he. If there’s a connection there, I intend to find it, whatever the cost.”

“Do you have to torture her?” Koschei asked softly.

“Do I have to? Well no, of course not. If she’d cooperate, I wouldn’t have to at all. It’s a shame, because technically she’s a traitor now, for interfering and being involved with the Time Agent. The Council will vote on an appropriate punishment for her crime, but I’ll be recommending Prescription Zero.”

“No! You can’t! Prescription Zero might as well be a death sentence for her, and you know it!!” Koschei cried, slamming his fist down on the counter.

Lightning fast, Rassilon was by his side and holding him by the throat against the wall. “Remember your position, or I’ll recommend it for you as well,” he snarled.

“P...p...please,” Koschei croaked. .

“If you want to save the mother of your child, you could always persuade her to talk. If she isn’t willing to do that, then she has officially outlived her usefulness to us. It is customary to depose one false prophet in favor of a new one, and Prescription Zero is standard for liars and traitors to the High Council of Gallifrey. If she wants to live, she’ll talk. And she’ll open her mind so we can see that she’s telling the truth this time. Otherwise, well...you know,” Rassilon relaxed his grip and let him fall to the floor. “See to that nutrient infusion, why don’t you?”

This time when the broken man called out to him, Rassilon did not answer.

* * * * *

“I’m not playing games anymore with you. This changes everything, and there is no more time to waste. Donna, you have to tell me the truth, you have to tell me who you are, and you have to tell me what you know about what happened to Rose,” the Doctor said, taking her by the shoulders.

“I swear to you I know nothing about Rose. I know you think I saw it that day we came here in my TARDIS, but I didn’t. I saw you, coming through the Void. I knew that you would...become whole again, I guess. That was why I took the coral, to keep it safe and have it ready for you. I knew you would need your TARDIS ready, but I didn’t know for what. That is all I saw of it, and that is the honest truth. The Time Lords cut me off psychically from what was going on at home, so I don’t have the benefit of their shared knowledge from the times when I was asleep. Do you believe me?” she asked, searching him with her eyes.

“When I said I wanted the truth, I meant all of it,” he replied, his voice cool. “You went back to Gallifrey after you left me and Rose behind. Something happened, and I want to know what it was.”

“I went back because my mother begged me to. Turns out it was a trap all along-they forced her to create messages to lure me home, and they ambushed me on my return. I was forced to regenerate, they Chameleon Arched me against my will and sent me to that stupid bloody island with a mission implanted in the back of my mind and a chaperone to make sure everything went off without a hitch. I honestly don’t know why, although I could begin to speculate.”

“So then speculate,” he said, taking her by the arm and marching her onto the TARDIS. “But do it while we’re on the way to Gallifrey.”

“Listen, I know you’re upset and I know you’re scared for Rose, but please believe me when I say that you will be in immeasurable danger on Gallifrey. Rassilon has gone insane...he’s got my father doing experiments, terrible experiments. If he captures you, that’s exactly what he’ll want them to do to you. Examine you. Poke and prod you and pull you to bits to try and figure out how you managed to come through the Void with no protection, regenerate, and live to tell the tale with your mind still in tact. I know this because they did it to my mother. They will do it to you, too. Rassilon is stronger, more powerful, more insane than you. You will not win against him, Doctor.”

“If there’s a chance that he’s involved with Rose disappearing, than I have to try. You said it yourself, there is no such thing as coincidence. The time lines have always been unraveling towards this, you have to be able to see that much. All paths lead to Gallifrey. There is no alternative. If you want to help, you can help me by telling me the whole truth, telling me the prophecy and everything else. I don’t have to go into battle unprepared, not if you will help me. I ended the Time War in my universe, maybe I can end this war too before it has a chance to get started. Now please, Donna...start at the beginning. Tell me who you really are,” he said, his voice more gentle but still firm with urgency.

Donna took a deep hitching breath as the ship’s time rotor began to move up and down, bringing them closer to a fate that had always been unavoidable. Her torment was etched onto her face, and she clenched and unclenched her fists as she ran it all through her head and tried to see something she may have missed before. There was nothing left but the truth. Taking a deep breath, Donna turned to face the Doctor, and found that it was tumbling out of her before she had another moment to over think it.

“My mother named me after Donna Noble not just because of the stories, but because she met her once herself in another universe, and said that she was one of the finest, bravest, kindest women she had ever known. She said names have power, and she hoped that naming me after Donna Noble would make me like her. My mother was not of this universe, but came here through a hiccup in Time. She didn’t share much of that other world with the Time Lords, but there were some things she shared with just me, her only child, before the experiments robbed her of her memories. Now she can’t remember any more, the truth from the lies, the real stories from the fictions she created to keep us all safe.. 

One of those things she told me were the stories of her father, the man who gave her two hearts. The Time Lords know that she was a genetic clone, but they don’t know from whom. Only me and my mother know who he was, that he was the last of his kind in that other world, that he taught her you always have a choice, and wars are better fought with brains than violence. And that man, my grandfather...he’s called the Doctor.”


	30. Bad Wolf Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna makes a rash decision in an effort to get them to Gallifrey, and the Doctor struggles with the grave repercussions. Meanwhile, the Bad Wolf waits.

“You’re Jenny’s daughter,” he whispered in simultaneous comprehension and disbelief, the hidden connection that he had completely missed. Here, he’d thought that Donna’s connection to him had to be through the Master. This was so much more complicated than that.

Donna nodded, using her wrist to brush away the tears that were cutting tracks down her cheeks. 

“But she died. General Cobb shot her, and she died in my arms, in a completely different universe. She didn’t regenerate. How can you be her daughter?”

“She didn’t regenerate because she just lived. The Source revived her after you had already left Messaline with your friends. She went looking for you, you know...and that’s how she ended up here. Fly too close to a black hole, and hiccups happen. Luckily, my father happened to be collecting specimens from the same black hole on the other side, only he had the benefit of knowing what the hell he was doing. My mother was always the type to fly by the seat of her pants.”

“It’s genetic,” the Doctor said without a trace of humor in his voice.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Donna replied, equally grim.

“So Jenny and Koschei are your parents...how were you made? Were you created, or were you born?” he asked

“She did tell me you were rude, too, and I am not let down. How do you think?” she asked, crossing her arms and giving him a sarcastic look that was _so_ Donna Noble, it made his hearts ache for the human woman she looked like. He had to remind himself that this was _his granddaughter_ , and that was just madness on an entirely different level. His granddaughter, who looked like his best mate from another universe, and who was the daughter of a genetic clone he had held while she died what felt like an eternity and nothing at all ago.

This was shaping up to be one of the weirdest days he’d had in...well, centuries, and that was saying something for him.

“You were born. So was I. Like I said...it’s genetic. On my Gallifrey they always did say the Time Lords who were born the old-fashioned way were a little more human. They thought it was a curse, but I just think it made us that much more clever,” he said, smiling for the first time in a while.

“Yeah, I suppose. I was the first female to graduate from the Prydonian Academy, actually,” she said shyly.

“Really?” he asked, the smile spreading into a grin. ‘Well, that’s brilliant. Or I guess I should say you are brilliant. You’d have to be, to be the first female graduate of the Prydonian Academy. What a boy’s club! Leave it to my granddaughter to go and shake things up.”

“Is that something like pride you’re beaming with?” she asked him seriously.

“Why yes, I suppose it is,” he replied. A moment later though, the smile faded. “Donna…”

She stopped him. “I know. You’re overwhelmed to have found family when you thought you had none left. But Rose is your family too, and you need to find her. I get it...you don’t care what happens to you, so long as she is safe.”

“Like that, yes. You understand.”

“I do,” Donna replied. “There’s only one problem, though…well, there’s definitely more than one, actually, but this one is going to cause us the most problems immediately. Gallifrey is time locked and hidden away, so that no one can interfere with Rassilon’s plans, whatever they are. This TARDIS, your TARDIS, is from the wrong Universe. It won’t be able to lock onto the planetary signal. Although…” She was flipping buttons and switches now, running around manically.

“No!” the Doctor replied quickly. I mean, you can’t. I know what you’re thinking, and you can’t. It could kill you, burn out your brain, your hearts...if you don’t do it exactly right, you could die, Donna, and I doubt that you’d be able to regenerate. I can’t let you do that.”

“So you won’t let me psychically interface with the TARDIS so that I can manually navigate us to Gallifrey?” she asked, turning another dial.

“No. It’s too dangerous!” he shouted insistently.

“Hmm. Well, good thing I never was one to ask for permission!” she exclaimed, punching a button and holding tight as a brilliant flash of white light engulfed the TARDIS.

* * * * *

The Time Lords had made a very grave error. They thought she was sleeping-and in the beginning, she had been. But for a while now, what felt like all of time and mere moments, the Bad Wolf had just been waiting. Watching and waiting, biding her time. She was still alone, her body and her consciousness locked away from the rest of the universe, with no company but the tiny spark that grew ever bigger and brighter within her. 

Eventually, there came a point where she had felt a tingling, like pins and needles, and she had realized with some shock that she was not just a floating consciousness, but she had fingers and toes. Not only that, but fingers and toes that seemed to move when she thought about them. She felt her body coming back to life, and it felt alien and unfamiliar to her after being away for so long. Not just that, but there were so many heartbeats echoing in her mind, so many hopes, dreams, prayers, petty wishes, she thought the sound of it all might drive her mad. All of Gallifrey was alive and burning in her mind, all that ever was and would be, all that ever could be, and all the things that should never, ever, ever be. If she focused, she could just barely pick out individual thoughts, to see what they were seeing and feel what they were feeling. It was easiest to pick up on the thoughts of those who had spent time closely near her. Bits and pieces of Rassilon’s and Koscei’s thoughts came through crystal clear, although the rest were jumbled up in her consciousness. Still, it was enough to piece things together. Enough to know what they meant to do with her, how they planned to use her for their own devices. While Koscei was a coward, he was mostly innocent, acting out of fear for his family. She couldn’t fault him for his part in the scheme.

Rassilon, on the other hand...well, there was nothing innocent about him at all. He was the mastermind, the evil genius behind the plot to turn her into a weapon of war and destruction. She saw what he meant to do, could hear the pleading cries of all the dead souls that had been a part of his failed experiments. Not every species was robust enough to survive the conversion process, of being turned from whatever they happened to be, into some kind of makeshift, bastard Time Lord that may or may not regenerate when it died in battle. She could see that-all the trials to see what would kill these new Time Lords permanently. As it turned out, that apparently was a lot of things. Their secondary hearts were naturally weaker, and the respiratory bypass systems were unpredictable and faulty. It was a bad combination, if you intended for the poor creatures to live.

But Rassilon didn’t. They were just soldiers, designed to fight a war without the need for the true, superior Time Lords to dirty their hands. When Rassilon had started going mad, apparently it was a catching disease. The High Council and he were under the impression that if they converted enough ‘lesser species’ into soldiers, they would have the power necessary to forcibly overtake any of the other civilizations capable of time travel. Rassilon said that time travel was for Time Lords alone, and the High Council agreed. While she sensed the unrest of the people of Gallifrey, the Bad Wolf could also see that they were much too terrified to attempt doing anything. The last time rumblings of a rebellion had picked up, Rassilon had recommended Prescription Zero for every single person rumored to be involved. The mad whisperings of the few survivors was almost unbearable, and she grimaced against it. It was so hard to block all of it out.

They meant to lock her consciousness away in a Moment, turn her into the ultimate weapon of war and destruction. Because she had survived the conversion process, they would use her as a genetic map to convert beings, use the transdimensional prison box to store them until battle, and then use her power and energy to destroy the worlds those converted beings had inhabited. No evidence, no outside interference. She shouldn’t have a sense of deja vu about all this-that was frankly impossible. Still, something about it felt a bit familiar, like maybe this wasn’t the first time her consciousness had been locked away, dormant.

At least that was what they thought. The Bad Wolf knew better, but she waited. The time was not right. She wasn’t sure when it would be, but in her heart she understood that she would just know when it was. Until then, let them think she lie dormant.

When she did allow herself to drift and dream to pass the time, she dreamed of Rose Tyler and the life she had lived before. And as always, her mind reached out and searched for the Doctor’s. This time though, when she reached out for him, she swore she caught an echo of something just beyond the surface.

It was beginning.

* * * * *

When the smoke cleared and the light returned to normal, the Doctor scrambled up off the grating and grabbed the jump seat for purchase. The cloister bell was still ringing menacingly in the background, only emphasizing the dire nature of the situation. Frantically, his eyes scanned the console room for Donna. With dismay and panic settling into the pit of his stomach, he saw her crumpled form against the wall, where it had been thrown by the impact. When he kneeled by her side and took her pulse, he felt nothing. Pressing his ear to her chest, he listened and heard the most haunting sound of all: silence. Neither of her hearts were beating.

Rocking back on his haunches, he pulled his hands through his hair. “No no no no no no. You can’t be dead. Oh Donna, oh God Donna, please don’t be dead. You can’t be dead. You’re Donna, and you’re my granddaughter and...you...can’t..be...dead!” he sobbed, his voice breaking with anguish. He pounded his fists against the grating by her lifeless body with angry exclamations. Not even twenty-four hours awake in this universe, and he’d already managed to do something entirely awful that he couldn’t take back. He held her lifeless body, rocking her, stroking her hair, and whispering that he was so, so sorry, that everything would be alright, shhh now… Like he had with her mother before, he thought, a chill going down his spine.

Was he always destined to lose everything? His eternal punishment for ending the Time War in the only manner he’d known how?

He didn’t know how long he sat there with her body, staring at the wall like he might bore a hole through it. It was only the wonder if Donna had been successful and thoughts of Rose that motivated him to peel himself up off the floor. He didn’t want Donna to have died in vain, because that would make all of this so much worse. He couldn’t even stop and let himself think about how unkind he had been to her at times. He already had a monster inside of him fed by guilt, if he dwelled on it for too long it might consume him. When he opened the doors of the TARDIS and looked down, he was neither surprised nor relieved to see a familiar looking red-orange planet with two suns hovering below. 

Even if he could find Jenny, which was doubtful, what would he even say to her now? But...Rose. His Rose, the one thing that he could dig deep inside and find a will for when there seemed to be none left at all. He had to find her, and save her from them. Feverishly, he wished Donna had been more forthcoming with him about the prophecies. If she was anything like him though, she’d probably believed on some level that she would make it through, because she made it through everything. By some cruel twist of fate, she had been wrong this time, and those secrets had died with her. Time Lords believed in nothing as romantic as an afterlife. Once you were dead, you were dead. When he searched for Donna’s mind, all he felt was a fading echo. Beneath that though, something tugged at him from the planet below. His blood perhaps, calling to him, but maybe something else. 

“I’m coming for you, Rose,” he whispered, hearing a trace of a younger him in his voice. He pulled himself to the console, and pushed the necessary buttons. With a whir and a shriek, the anti-grav’s shut off and sent him plunging to the ground below.

It was time for the Doctor to meet the Time Lords.


	31. The Moment Draws Near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Gallifrey, things begin to escalate (with a little help from the Bad Wolf, of course).

It was a matter of luck that the Doctor had landed where he did. Whether that luck was good or bad would remain to be seen. 

After collecting his tangled limbs and pulling himself up off the floor once more, he had sprinted down the gangway and paused at the doors. Dozens of times, he’d envisioned the sort of outlandish scenarios that might lead him somehow to Gallifrey again, but never like this. He’d grown up always believing that there had been only one Gallifrey, there were no parallels. It was shaping up to be one of many things he’d been taught that he was finding out to be completely bollocks. He tried to examine the mix of emotions he was feeling standing there, and as he searched them he was surprised and sad to find that joy was not amongst those feelings, only a resignedness to the task at hand. Grief over the loss of Donna, anxiety about Rose’s welfare and a determination to find her, a mild curiosity about whether this Gallifrey would be that much different from the red planet he’d once called home. Somewhere in that mix, he would have to come up with a plan for facing an insane and war-driven Rassilon and the High Council of the Time Lords, and he hadn’t the faintest idea of where to begin. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the door open and was assaulted by the familiar sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and thoughts of a place he never thought he’d ever lay eyes on again.

A sea of red grass rippled softly in the light breeze, carrying the scent of a flower the Doctor had always thought smelled a bit like tea with lemon. In the far distance, he could see what rather looked like the the Capitol to him, and the tugging he felt in his hearts when he looked at it told him he was headed the right direction. As far out as he had landed, he had the advantage of being able to disappear well before they’d be able to find his TARDIS-another curse/benefit of it originating from another universe.. Still, he had set the shields to invisible before leaving the TARDIS, even if it was likely a futile measure. Hardly sparing a glance at the silver-leaved trees, he began sprinting towards the city.

The single thought that kept repeating in his mind as the shape of the city grew larger and more defined wasn’t _’home!’_ , but _’Rose!’_. The closer he drew, the louder and more urgent the whisperings in his head became as he picked up on the thoughts of those who were either too young or inexperienced to shield themselves. One whisper though cut through all the others, seeking out him specifically, clear as a bell and as loud as if it had been spoken aloud. The voice (although that was not really an accurate description of what he heard in his mind) was somehow simultaneously both alarmingly alien and achingly familiar, low and sonorous.

_"The Moment draws near, and we are it. We’ve been waiting for you, Doctor."_

_We?_ he thought with a frown as he continued running. And with alarm, _The Moment?!_

* * * * *

Jenny was inconsolable. It wasn’t her own impending death that was troubling her, so much as Donna’s. Donna, who had died trying to save the same people that had condemned her and who she would die without ever seeing again. Rassilon had cut all communication with the rogue Time Lady off, but it hadn’t mattered-Jenny had still been able to feel the pulse of her daughter in the universe, even if she couldn’t communicate with her. When that pulse had abruptly faded and disappeared, she had just known that Donna was gone. She wanted to weep, but of course she couldn’t. Her eyes remained opened and unblinking, fixed indefinitely on the nothingness around her. Nothing nothing and nothing, forever and ever and ever.

Unless of course she closed her eyes. Or wept, which would necessitate blinking at some point. So she couldn’t do that, because the second she did...well, nothing had a way of becoming _something_ awfully fast, especially in the darkness. Rassilon’s Zero Chamber was a cruel parody of the Zero Room on a TARDIS. People didn’t come here to heal. They came here to go mad or die in the darkness, whichever came first. She was already mad, so that somewhat limited her options. She had to hang on though, in the belief that at least some of the visions she’d had would turn out to be real. Especially the visions that ended with her family being whole again.

But those were good visions, and too good to be true. And hadn’t it been chasing the stupid dream of finding her father again that had landed her in this godforsaken universe in the first place? She was a genetic clone, and not even that, anymore. More science experiment than Time Lady or person or oracle, she wasn’t even sure what she was anymore. But she didn’t have parents, or a family. Her daughter was dead, and her father was trapped in another universe. There was no duplicate Doctor, no hero to come and rescue her. Wishful thinking would get her nowhere.

“You’re wrong, you know,” a voice said, seeming to come from all directions. She whipped her head around to see a blonde woman dressed in white, emanating light that glowed brightly around her but cast no light on the room they were in. “The Doctor always comes.”

“It’s you,” Jenny said numbly, convinced she was hallucinating. “The Bad Wolf. Like in my dreams. Is that it, then? Did I fall asleep? I’m about to die, aren’t I?”

“No, Jenny. You aren’t asleep, and I’m not a dream. The Doctor is coming, but you have to help him. He will not be able to do this alone.”

Jenny laughed, bitterly. “Why? Donna is gone. My only consolation is that Rassilon won’t be able to capture and torture her like he has me all these years. She was all I had, and she’s gone.”

“Koschei lives, and so does the Doctor. So does the rest of Gallifrey, innocent men, women and children who want no part of the war that’s been chosen for them. They’re living and breathing. But only for now, if you don’t help them, they will die.”

“Why should I care for Koschei? He’s nothing to me, not with our daughter dead. He never cared for me anyway, only cared for the ‘specimen’ we created. And as for the Doctor...I’ve survived hundreds of years without him. I can survive eternity without him, too. I don’t care about the rest of Gallifrey, or its children, not when Gallifrey took my daughter from me. Please...I want to go be with Donna. Maybe they’ll be wrong. Maybe there is something else, an afterlife or something. It hurts so much...I just want to be dead, like her.”

“You sure about that?” the Bad Wolf asked.

“About wanting to die? Yes. Please...just let me go.”

“No not that, about Donna. Being dead, that is. You sure about that?” the Bad Wolf asked again, folding her arms and tilting one eyebrow up knowingly. Behind the fading woman, a door popped open. “Help him, Jenny. Help the Doctor save Gallifrey again, and the universe, too.”

“Okay?” she said, staring at the place where the Bad Wolf had been only a moment earlier. Hastily, she drew her attention away from that spot, which felt oddly magnetic, to the open doorway. Creeping up to it, she stuck her head out into the hallway and looked. It was deserted. She didn’t need a second invitation to escape. Taking off down the hallway, she thought that some things never really changed. Wherever her father was, chances were an outrageous amount of running would also be involved.

So she ran. Toward what though, she wasn’t entirely sure. She did think it a bit strange that there were no guards to impede her progress. In fact, no one at all stopped her or even seemed to see her as she fled the prison. Free of the Zero Chamber’s interference, she set her mind searching. She had to find the Doctor.

* * * * *

“I’m terribly sorry to intrude on your plottings to overthrow the governments of various Level Five planets’, but we may have a slight problem,” Koschei said.

“Sometimes I think you deliberately tempt me to see what will happen,” Rassilon replied, not looking up from the massive carved wood desk that his papers were spread out on. “What sort of problem?”

Koschei reconsidered what he was about to do. Yes, it was his job, but Rassilon was well-known for shooting the messenger, and this wasn’t just bad news...it was _Bad_ news. Bad Wolf news, even. He tittered nervously at his own pun, but clammed up when he caught the look Rassilon was giving him. 

“Ah...Jenny has disappeared from Zero Chamber 10, and there was no displacement of temporal energy, so….”

“So she’s escaped is what you’re telling me?” Rassilon asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Perhaps so, yes. But that’s only the half of it,” he replied, swallowing the lump in his throat. “The Bad Wolf still seems to be sleeping...but her brain activity is off the charts. When I checked her biological readouts yesterday, she still had at least six weeks worth of brain cell reproduction to go through. Now...everything is done. It’s complete. But she hasn’t woken up, and she’s been unresponsive when I’ve tried. In order for the device to work properly, I have to be able to separate her consciousness from the rest of her brain...but it’s like her consciousness is just gone. Her brain is active, but I can’t see any of it. It’s the strangest thing.”

“Koschei...I’m busy. Strategizing, as it were. I do the strategy, you do the science, that’s how it all works. Remember? So go back to the lab, run some more tests and Figure. It. Out.”

“But…”

“No buts. We’ve been through this before, I leave you to do the science so that I’m free to do this stuff. I don’t care if you have to go pull a student from the academy, just Figure. It. Out. Okay?” Rassilon said, his voice dropping into that dangerously low register that usually signalled increasing anger and impending wrath.

“But she’s going into labor, too…” he said dumbly as the door slammed shut in his face.

* * * * *

Hands down, dying was the most painful thing Donna had done lately.

She hadn’t really realized she’d been dead, of course. Not until she came back into her body with a shock and a start, wondering what smelled like cooked meat and why her hearts both felt like she’d just got done the Continent of Wild Endeavour’s 500k interspace fun run.

Then she remembered.

“Shit,” she muttered, looking around the console room and seeing it completely empty. And then, indignantly. “He didn’t even try to take me to the med bay?!”

“You were dead. Both hearts burned out when you pulled that manual navigation stunt. Nothing the med bay could’ve done to help that,” a familiar female voice replied. Donna turned to look, and saw Rose leaning against the console. No, wait. Not Rose. There was a light in the woman’s eyes, strange and feral, and she was dressed all in white. The Bad Wolf, as her mother had foretold.

“So I suppose I have you to thank for bring me back?” Donna asked.

The Bad Wolf shrugged. “If you like. But right now, there are other tasks at hand. Tasks that require your help. Find your mother and your grandfather. Help them get to your father’s lab.”

“And then?” Donna pressed.

“And then we save Gallifrey from the universe. Or rather, save the universe from Gallifrey. Something like that. Either way, the experiments and conversions will end, but only with your help,” the Bad Wolf advised, her eyes flashing.

“What do I have to do?” Donna asked.

“For starters? Run.”


	32. The Doctor Donna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bad Wolf reveals the truth of the prophecy to Donna, and the two of them take action to save Gallifrey from itself.

It was a matter of chance, perhaps, that Koschei and Donna reached the lab at the same time. Or perhaps it wasn’t chance, but fate unfolding as it had always been meant to. 

Carefully, and with a bit of jiggery-pokery, Donna dematerialized the TARDIS from where it had crash-landed and into a storage cupboard outside of her father’s lab. She poked her head out into the hallway to see if it was clear before closing the door behind her. Quiet as a funeral, she crept down the stark white hallway to the nondescript door of her father’s lab. She slid up the security panel and quickly keyed in the blind access code, rather than her own personal one. She didn’t want anyone to know she was here, not if she could help it. They were bound to find out eventually of course, but she figured there was no need to give them the jump on her by alerting them of her presence unnecessarily. Once inside, she waited. It wasn’t long.

A few minutes later, her father came rushing into the lab, muttering worriedly to himself. He almost didn’t see her at first, seeming to stare right through her. Then, his eyes widened and he rushed to make sure the door was locked securely. 

“Donna! What are you doing here?” he asked, making no move toward her. Her father had never really been the touchy-feely type, but then again, touchy-feely wasn’t exactly in the average Time Lord’s vocabulary. 

Donna wasn’t an average Time Lord. Or Lady, for that matter. She folded her arms in front of her chest and stared at her father. “How could you?” she asked softly.

“What do you mean?” he asked, backing up. Behind him, the specimen tanks glowed dully, their contents bathed with a nightmarish blue-green light cast from within.

“It was you. You were the one kidnapping all the royalty and politicians from those planets, for your sick experiments. How many of them didn’t survive? How many of them died because they couldn’t survive the conversion process of becoming a Time Lord? Nevermind the chaos you created by disrupting the normal affairs of entire galaxies! Nevermind the fact that Rassilon was torturing Mum while you were swanning around the universe on your kidnapping spree!”

Koschei gaped at his daughter. “How do you know all that? They cut you off! You aren’t supposed to know anything about the experiments, or the war!”

“The Bad Wolf showed me,” she said simply.

“The Bad Wolf showed you? The Bad Wolf isn’t even awake, Donna!”

“Oh, aren’t I?” she said, stepping out from behind one of the specimen tanks, still dripping wet with the nutrient infusion she’d been submerged in. She folded her arms, resting them on the swell of her stomach. “I’m feeling pretty awake right now, mate.”

Koschei’s jaw dropped, and he sputtered unintelligibly before managing to spit out a semi-coherent sentence. “What? How...but...you’re not finished yet...you’re still...you’re not...you were in labor!” he finally spat accusingly.

“Pity, I don’t think this would be the first time a woman faked something and it went over your head,” the Bad Wolf replied, shaking her head. “I needed to create a diversion, so I did.” 

“If it weren’t my father you were talking about, I’d high-five you right now,” Donna whispered in admiration. Her father shot her a sharp glance, which she returned twofold.

“Koschei means well, he’s just a coward. The only reason he continued the experiments was because Rassilon threatened harm to you and your mother if he didn’t,” the Bad Wolf explained.

“I never took you for the sentimental type, old man. Is that true? Rassilon threatened to hurt me and mum if you didn’t do the experiments?” Donna softly asked her father.

Koschei didn’t say anything, just stared unblinking at his daughter.

“Dad?” she pressed. Then, softer. “Daddy, why?” 

“You know why, daughter,” he answered gruffly. “The Bad Wolf speaks the truth. But this isn’t right...the prophecy…”

“It is exactly right,” the woman who looked like Rose Tyler replied. “The prophecy says that when Gallifrey stands poised on the brink of a new era, the bastard children of the Time Lords will rise to fight and lead Gallifrey to victory. You all thought that meant the bastard soldiers you created would help you defeat and overtake whatever planets you attacked...but it doesn’t. Not even close. Only Jenny and I knew the truth, and she locked it away inside of her to keep it safe.”

“So if the prophecy has been misinterpreted, what’s really going to happen?” Koschei asked.

“Oh, I reckon you’re about to find out,” she said with a grin, poking her tongue through her teeth in a very unnerving and human sort of way.

Around them, the coward Time Lord’s lab was coming alive as the creatures in the specimen tanks opened their eyes and looked around for the first time. Koschei clutched his head, his mind suddenly flooded with the thoughts of the awakening, still too new to shield themselves to the minds of others. Donna and the Bad Wolf didn’t seem perturbed-he watched as a silent something passed between the two women.

“As we speak, the High Council of Gallifrey is voting to begin action and start the invasion. They’ve all gone as mad as Rassilon, and they are bent on this war. Once it begins though, Gallifrey becomes vulnerable to attack-if they want to deploy their soldiers, they’ll have to make themselves visible if just for moments, but moments is all it takes. Unless we head them off at the path...and use their own soldiers against them,” the Bad Wolf whispered in conspiratorial tones to Donna.

“What do they...what do you...remember of life before?” Donna asked, looking around and evidently anguished by what she saw. Creatures that had been tortured into new creatures, creatures that were not destined to live long.

The Bad Wolf regarded Donna curiously. “I am not like them-I am stronger, more powerful, more vibrant, more resilient. The Time Lords want to use me...lock my mind away and use my body as a genetic map. But they haven’t given consideration to all the variables. It will not work, though they don’t know that yet. Won’t stop them from trying though, and destroying all of us in the process. If we act before them, they won’t have a chance. To use these poor creatures, to use me, to start a war that would rage on across the galaxies and into infinity. Besides...they don’t know the whole truth, like me and you. When I awakened you, I showed you the truth. Do you remember?”

“Maybe,” Donna said numbly. “But the prophecy...the Doctor...it said...it said the Doctor, the last child of Gallifrey, would rise from the ashes at the new dawn to lead the bastard children of the Time Lords to victory. You told me I had to find my grandfather…”

“I told you to find your grandfather and mother so they could be reunited. What happens next doesn’t involve them...just you. But no matter. Your grandfather and your mother will find each other without your help. You have a more important mission to lead, Donna. I can’t be a map for them….but you can. 

You are the one who will make them better, lead them on to victory...against the Time Lords. You will be the one who leads them to their justice against the ones who endorsed their torture with a blind eye to their pain. You asked me how much they remember? All of it. But their pasts, their memories? Gone, forever, stolen from them to make room for the Time Lord consciousness. But they all have the memories of the pain, how it felt when they burned in the darkness. They will never forget it...and you will help them to oust the High Council. The Time Lords were never to interfere...this has crossed a line. They are not the noble children of Gallifrey any more, and they will only lead this world, this universe, to destruction..

You are the one who makes people better here, on your own world, in your own universe. It’s you, it always was you...you are the prophecy. When you died, I brought you back. Your hearts burned to ash and I breathed life into them and you and you came back. You are the Doctor, Donna and I am the Bad Wolf and it’s up to us to save the Time Lords.”

* * * * *

“How many?” the Honored Speaker of the High Council asked.

“10,000, at the moment. Koschei is preparing more, but the development takes some time,” Rassilon replied.

“And your plan, with a mere 10,000? That hardly sounds an adequate number for the scale of assault you seem to be speaking of.”

“10,000 soldiers, from over a 1,000 different planets, dozens of galaxies. We’ll spread them out across space and time, and let them launch intelligence attacks from within. They’re clever now, they’ll figure out the easiest way to infiltrate the governments and do what they have to, for the victory of Gallifrey!” Rassilon cried, thumping his fist against the ornately carved tabletop for emphasis.

“You would start a war with 10,000 weak soldiers that aren’t quite Time Lords? What happens when they die and the rest of the galaxy decides they want to come looking to Gallifrey for answers? Which they will, inevitably. Or didn’t Rassilon tell you about that? How these ‘soldiers’ of his aren’t real Time Lords, just bastards with weak hearts and faulty respiratory bypass. What happens when those 10,000 die, and the rest of the crop is still ‘growing’? Who will defend Gallifrey then?” Donna said, striding into the council chambers. The room broke into a frenzied psychic buzz, but then voices began to rise above the din.

“Does the Daughter of Prydon speak the truth, Rassilon?” one of the council women asked?

“The Daughter of Prydon is a liar who seeks to besmirch my name after her own has been sullied. Why do you think we banned Jenny’s daughter? She was poisoned by the false prophet’s lies!”

This only stirred up a further buzz as the members of the High Council debated which of the two was telling the truth. Rassilon was their Lord President, though…

“I’m not just a Daughter of Prydon-I’m the _only_ one. I know I’ve been gone for a while, but correct me if I’m wrong, there have been no others. Am I right?” Donna asked, looking around the room for confirmation. Their silence served as its own answer.

“As I thought,” she said, shaking her head. “Rassilon didn’t depose my mother because she lied, but because she spoke the truth. The time of the prophecy has come, and it is now. I am the only Daughter of Prydon, and this will be my legacy. I am the Doctor, and Rassilon’s soldiers are sick. I will make them better. You can help me...or you can go to war with me,” she said, her face oddly calm and serene. “But I warn you...the Bad Wolf has awakened. And she’s hungry for revenge.”

“She’s as mad as that misfit clone mother of hers!” someone high in the ranks of the audience cried. Rassilon smiled at this, and waited for the Time Lords to round on Donna, which they did. Inexplicably though, before they could imprison her, she seemed to disappear in a cloud of gold smoke.

“They’re as mad as he is,” the Bad Wolf advised to Donna back in the lab. “Their minds refuse to see the truth. We cannot help them now, we can only help the bastards your father created, make them whole.”

“Speaking of my father...where is he?” she asked, looking around. Koschei was noticeably absent from his lab.

“I think he fled when they started opening their eyes. It was a bit much for him, the guilt. He was never keen on this, you have to know that. Maybe one day you’ll find it in your heart to forgive him.”

“Bad Wolf...Rose...what are you?” she asked. “Is Rose Tyler even in there still? Are you two the same?

“I’m something new. I am she and she is me and we are she and we are all together. Or wait...maybe that’s the Beatles? Kind of. Do they even have the Beatles in this universe? Sometimes I can’t keep all the worlds I’ve seen straight in mind...,” she said mysteriously, offering no further answer beyond that. “Are you ready to become the Doctor, Donna?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose,” she said, taking a deep breath.

“Then the Moment has come,” the Bad Wolf said, her eyes beginning to glow. She turned her gaze on Donna, and the light eventually became so bright that it almost burned.

* * * * *

“Meet the High Council of Gallifrey,” the Doctor Donna said softly, watching as the soldiers descended upon the mad Time Lords before they even had time to comprehend what was happening. She could’ve ended it then and there, commanded the soldiers to each snap the neck of their respective captors. But she didn’t. She thought of her grandfather, and she hesitated.

“Well, what are you waiting for, you coward girl?” Rassilon growled, wrapped in the grip of one particularly tall and spiny former Isadoran turned Time Lord.

“A Doctor is sworn to heal, not kill. I don’t have to play by your rules, Rassilon,” she said, turning to address the soldiers. “Take them to the repair yard...to the TARDIS’ that are stationary but still functioning. Put them in the Zero Rooms. Give them some time to think...and maybe come back from the edge. When you’re finished...well, I suppose we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

The soldiers didn’t wait for further instruction before hustling the members of the High Council out of their chambers. Impervious to the grumbles and complaints of their captives, the soldiers worked efficiently and had the room emptied in a matter of minutes. 

“This feels strangely anticlimactic,” Donna said, sinking into the Lord President’s ornate chair. Had it really been so easy to thwart their plans? Perhaps. She would feel better when she knew they were carefully ensconced. She could have killed them of course...but that wasn’t something the Doctor would do. And the Doctor was her now, somehow. Somewhere out there though was her own Doctor, her grandfather, probably looking for her mother and having no idea she, Donna, was alive. Flying to her feet, she strode from the council chambers with resolve, determined to find him and her mother and bring them to the Bad Wolf.

It’d be one hell of a family reunion, that was for sure.


	33. Futures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole family is finally reunited and the Doctor and Rose have a choice to make.

“Dad?” Jenny whispered in urgent disbelief. Centuries later and a universe apart, he still looked almost exactly the same as the last time she’d seen him even down to the style of suit and long coat, except his eyes looked twice as haunted now. “Oh damn.”

He whipped his head to the side from where he was crouched down, watching the soldiers march the High Council of the Time Lords down to the repair yard and into the broken down TARDISes. She could tell he was puzzled by the display because she was too, but they appeared to be acting on some kind of orders.

“Jenny?” he replied, and the emotions she saw reflected back on his face were myriad. Disbelief, surprise, grief, and joy all worked their way into the multitude of stunned expressions he was making. Of all the Time Lords she had known, he was so the most expressive of them, her father. “You’re...alive. And old.”

“Dad. You’re alive, and rude. Some things never change.”

“Sorry, sorry...it’s just...I, wow,” he gasped, folding her into a tight hug. “I don’t even know what to say. What are you doing here, on a parallel Gallifrey? How are you still alive, first of all?”

She pulled back from him to consider his question. “The Source revived me. You had already gone though, unfortunately. I stole a ship, took off to look for you, accidentally got sucked into a black hole, etc, etc, so on and so forth and Koschei was on the other side. Survived the black hole, which was a miracle in and of itself that endowed me with the ability to see things, the future, time and space. The Time Lords did experiments on me, significantly extended my life span though I can’t regenerate, etc...that’s the short version. Donna is my natural-born daughter by Koschei. Once upon a time we loved each other, before Rassilon made it impossible. And now here we are, watching the deposed High Council of Gallifrey be marched into the repair yard. What for, do you think?”

“Hang on, I’m still absorbing the whole part where you’re my daughter and you’re still alive, and Donna is my granddaughter and Koschei is just a look-a-like and not my enemy from the other universe. And Rose! I have to find Rose. I just have a feeling…”

“What about about the High Council of the Time Lords?” Jenny asked, gesturing to the spectacle below them.

“I don’t know. They’re being restrained by the soldiers, so I assume they’re being held as some kind of prisoners. There’s plenty of places insides an abandoned TARDIS that could be used as a holding cell. Or be used for torture, come to think of it, though that’s hardly Donna’s style. I do wonder what she’s got the soldiers doing with them?” the Doctor mused out loud.

“We could find Donna and ask her. I don’t much fancy asking those soldiers, at least not right now. Something tells me it might not be a good idea interrupting them, I’d rather find Donna and ask her personally what’s going on, wouldn’t you? Obviously, she was successful, at any rate,” Jenny whispered.

For perhaps the first time in his history that he could remember, the Doctor found himself agreeing rather than urging to explore what was happening below, mostly because he still needed to find Rose.

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” he urged gruffly, taking Jenny’s hand and making his way back up the side of the hill the way he’d come. They had a bit of a hike back to the citadel the High Council had just come from, where with any luck both Rose and Donna would be waiting for them. As luck would have it though, Donna met them on their way back to Koschei’s lab, and the Doctor was swept with both relief and confusion upon seeing Rose’s pregnant form.

“Rose...what have they done to you?” he asked her.

She inhaled heavily, and in such a way that he already knew he probably wasn’t going to like whatever answer came immediately afterwards. “They made me like you. Sort of. I’ve got the mind...and the body...of a Time Lord. While you were gone, I was growing in the darkness, the conversion process feeding of the residual Bad Wolf energy left in my mind. It awakened the Bad Wolf in me, and now Rose Tyler and the Bad Wolf are one again.”

He opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally managed to sputter. “What?”

Rose wrung her hands. “Yes, I thought you might react something like that.”

“What? What? What?” he coughed again, the shock still evident on his face.

“You’re going to have to say something other than ‘what’ eventually,” Donna interjected helpfully, to which the Doctor only shot her a dirty look.

“This must be what you felt like the first time I regenerated,” the Doctor muttered helplessly. “I’m sorry...it’s just quite the shock. I sort of always took it for granted that you’d be human Rose, and now you’re not, and you’re pregnant on top of it I just...yeah.”

“Doctor...I know it’s a lot to take in. But we have some decisions to make. Donna and I have been talking, and this Gallifrey here is going to need a new High Council. I know that pomp and circumstance isn’t your sort of thing, but you’ve been gone a long time, so maybe you’ll want to reconsider. Our baby has two hearts...maybe you want a chance to raise him here amongst your people. Or maybe you don’t care about all that. I don’t know. We’ve only just discovered this Gallifrey and your family though, and the possibilities are endless. We owe it to ourselves to at least consider them, yeah?” she said gently.

“Yeah,” he said, swallowing heavily in response. “But what about your family?”

“We have a TARDIS. We can go back any time we like. But you...you’ve been lost from your people for so long, now you finally have an opportunity to be back with them again. I want you to take that opportunity, if you want it. But the choice is yours. You know I’ve always gone as you’ve gone, and some things never change, not even now. What do you want, Doctor?” she asked him, curiously.

“I want you, Rose. Of course I want you, but beyond that...I don’t suppose there is an easy answer any more,” he said. Jenny and Donna were watching him as he paced back and forth like a mad man possessed, and maybe he was one.

“I stole a TARDIS and left Gallifrey for a reason. I don’t know that I could bare to stand still in the same spot for too long, even if it was my home planet. I’m more than glad to see it with my own two eyes again...but I don’t know that you and I are meant to stay and raise our child here. I can already hear your mum’s protests to that effect in my head anyway,” he said, a rueful smile on his face.

“Hurricane Jackie,” Rose said with a smile. “Don’t stand between her and her grandchild. I don’t suppose we could do that to mum. Still, it’s not as though we’re going to set up shop on Pete’s World, and it’s not as though we’re going to raise a baby on the TARDIS…”

“Why not?” he asked. “There’s a first time for everything. Because I don’t think we’re going to raise our baby on Gallifrey, either. I’m not saying I’m not scared silly, because I am. But I’d rather fly between all our different friends and family than stay still in any one spot, and I think honestly, that’s how you’d prefer it, too. We’re traveler’s, you and me. We’re not meant to stand still while the world moves around us, we’re meant to move the world. I want to move the world with you Rose, wherever we are, whether that’s Gallifrey or Pete’s World, or on board the TARDIS.”

“I feel like we’re intruding on a private moment,” Jenny interjected quietly.

“No, you’re family,” Rose insisted.

“So what happens to Gallifrey if we don’t stay?” the Doctor asked, turning to Donna and Jenny.

“We’ll manage. We’ll elect a new High Council, a new Lord President. The current High Council will be released back into society once they’ve been deemed healed and sane by a Doctor-yours truly, of course. But we’ll manage. It’d be lovely if you decided to stay, but we’d understand if wanderlust took you to destinations elsewhere. You’d always have a place here though, on Gallifrey. The three of you would always be welcome as if this were your own home,” Donna said meaningfully.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to go, but I don’t know if I can stay, either,” the Doctor moaned, pulling at his face.

Rose put her arms around him. “You don’t have to make a snap decision about this, you know. And it’s not like we can’t come back. With the High Council’s war plot foiled, there’s no need to hide Gallifrey away. We can come and go as we please, yeah? No need to get despondent over it, alright?” she coaxed softly.

“I know you’re right, it’s all just a lot to take in still. But I think...I think we’re not yet done seeing the stars. I think we got a TARDIS back for a reason, I don’t intend to let it sit and gather dust. So what do you say Rose Tyler. Travel the universe with me?” he looked at her, his eyes searching, pleading.

“Of course, Doctor. Any time and every time,” she said, her eyes sparkling.

“I might have known,” Jenny said sadly.

“I’m sorry,” the Doctor replied, pulling her into a tight hug. “I just can’t stay. But you could come with us.”

Jenny smiled. “Maybe. I’ve gotten awfully old over the years, dad. I’m not as...spry as I used to be. I won’t be doing backflips through any laserbeams any time soon, I’ll put it to you like that, at any rate.”

“So? You could still come with us. Beside, every child deserves a doting relative, right?” he said, the faint trace of a smile playing across his lips.

“Oh, so it’s like that now, is it, you’re in it for the free child care?” Jenny asked, raising her eyebrows at him but giving a good natured chuckle.

“It’d just be nice to have my daughter around, that’s all,” the Doctor said solemnly.

“I don’t know if I could run with you all the time, dad, but I think I’d rather like that, a trip with the Doctor and the Bad Wolf on their TARDIS. We’ll have to see,” she said, offering him a small smile in return.

“Donna...I’m so proud of you,” the Doctor muttered fiercely, pulling her into a hug. “You really sorted it today, and you did brilliant.”

“Well, it’s genetic, apparently,” she said nonchalantly, and the two of them laughed as they broke their embrace.

The Doctor turned to look at Rose. “To the TARDIS?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she said, taking his hand.

“But we’ll be back. You haven’t seen the last of us on Gallifrey,” the Doctor said, waving his finger for emphasis.

“We better not have,” Donna said, crossing her arms as the two of them retreated to the their time ship.

Inside the TARDIS, Rose and the Doctor stared at each other over the console. The Doctor started the dematerialization sequence, but then looked at Rose. “Would you like the honors?”

Stepping up to the console, into a role she soon thought she’d get quite comfortable in, Rose Tyler, the Bad Wolf, poked her tongue through her teeth and smiled and said. “Doctor, I’d love to.”


End file.
